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| Brandy |
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| Joined: 16 Jun 2009 |
| Posts: 1270 |
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 Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 6:18 pm |
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Dearest Chelle,
I am so sorry to hear you are feeling low again, the pain takes ages to subside, we all know that on this thread. We are all here for you and always will be hun. xx
I like to believe that when we loose someone close to us they still live through us and give us strength, the time we had our babies inside of us makes them part of us forever. So when ever you feel alone remember that Bernard is still there, he always will be. Look at your butterflies and remember him, you may never hold him which is very very hard, but be strong and positive for him and he will help you to move forward.
With all my heart I hope happiness comes to us all,
Lots and lots of love,
Nicole xxxx |
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 11:41 am |
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Hi Bernard.
Well it's now 2010. The year that should have been your birth year. I feel so sad when I think of that. You would be coming along in 6 weeks, all pink and bouncy. I know I need to stop thinking of what if's but it's so hard not to.
Mummy and Daddy are OK. We miss you so much and talk about you lots. Mummy's starting at the gym next week to try and get fit and healthy for our next cycle. Don't you be looking down and giggle at me trying to look like I know what I am doing, all red and sweaty!!
I was shopping the other day at the sales and thought about all the little things I should be buying you in the sales. I think, infact know you would have been so spoilt. Graumma keeps buying me little angel's as she can't spoil you she is spoiling me. I have an angel charm for my bracelet and an angel calander for 2010.
We are missing you so so much, it's getting hard again without you but I think thats because we are so close to your due date. Me and Daddy are going to do something special that day, hopefully spend the day out with Thornton or something.
Miss you, sleep tight sweetheart
Love Mummy xxxx |
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 11:45 am |
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Hi to everyone. Hope you are all keeping well.
Nicole Im so sorry your last TX didn't work out. How are you?
Titchy how are you. Haven't heard from you in a while and I know I havent emailed but think of you often.
Nik How's things with you?
Im OK. have been emotional over Christmas and especially New Year but think it's alot to do with the ODD looming. I have taken that week off work so hopefully I will get through it.
Love to you all and I hope 2010 makes all our dreams come true xxxx |
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| Brandy |
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| Joined: 16 Jun 2009 |
| Posts: 1270 |
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 7:51 pm |
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Hi Chelle,
Thanks for your message. I am really sad we failed on our last treatment, but to be honest, I would rather a BFN than go through what we went through in the summer.
We will try 1 or 2 more times in a few more months, then if it does not work I think we will stop there.
It is a tough time over the holidays and as our ODD approach we will be sad. Good for you taking the week off, at least you don't have to pretend, strength to you. When was your due date ?
Mine was the 2nd of March.
I know a few people due around that time, it will be hard, but I am really happy for them too. One of them is also an IVF lady who had a BFP on her 3rd try and needed IVIG most of the first and second trimester, so I am so happy for her.
Take care sweetie,
Nicole xx |
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 9:29 pm |
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Dear Chelle,
I am sorry to see you are finding things difficult, it is completely understandable though. You are bound to think of the ODD. I found myself to be feeling quite emotinal too over xmas & new year. My sadness was more for the loss of my twin boys Nov 2008. I kept imagining my 1st xmas with babies around. I do still thnk about my last loss too. I never even worked out my ODD, although I know it would have been March.
I do think it very slowly gets easier as different anniversaries & firsts pass by.
Know exactly what you mean about thinking about the sales & all the bargains you'd be enjoying looking for. Its nice you have angel pressies bought fo you. I also got one from a friend this year, reminded me straight away of my twins boys. I had a good cry, which helped. Don't stop yourself from crying honey, I think it does help.
Think about you too whenever Michael Buble plays. You have converted me. Never paid much attention to him before, but have come to realise that I really like lots of his songs, must buy the cd. He's rather tasty too lol!
We will get there, I really hope our dreams are realised this year.
Brandy - I am sorry to see your last cycle was not successful. I did follow you & so hoped it had been a more positive outcome.
I have 1st app with George on 4th Feb, really don't know what to expect, or even what I want from it at the mo. No-one has suggested I see him, just feeling all a bit confused where to go with it all. Hoping for some different expertise. Have had BFP from clomid, BFP from FET & BFP naturally. Have alreading sorted 1st level immune tests myself via NHS, saved money but stressful, all clear. Have feeling George will suggest 2nd level tests, which I know I could organise self before app, would save some time & money Too be honest, can't face getting my head round organising them.
Maybe I'll feel different next week.
Anyhow ladies
Take care, sending hugs too x
Nicky xx |
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 3:55 am |
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Hi
Nicole my ODD would have been 19th Feb. It's my SIL's wedding on the 20th so really dreading that. Don't know how I will be. It's worse as none of DH's family know about the m/c or the IVF so it's not like they would even understand if I wasn't myself. Also DH's kids will be there and they know nothing so need to try and put a brave face on it. Oh well if I can't deal with it I will go to the ceremony and meal and then develope a migraine!!!
This is definately our last try as we really can't afford another after this.
I will need the drip. I think it may be the IVIG drip on the next cycle and know 2 ladies it has worked for do hopefully ..................
Nicky I went to see George the week before Christmas and he found that I have a small immune problem. I had the level 1 tests 2 cycles ago and all came back fine so George told me not to bother having the level 2 (Chicago) as the levels 1's were ok but I wish I had had them done now as maybe Bernard would have still been with us. I don't think you can get the level 2's done by your GP as they have to be sent to Chicago.
Anyway I need to ring the egg co-ordinator and advise them we are trying again, my sister is hopeing to donate again. We won't be starting for a few months as I need to lose weight. With the comfort eating, holiday and Christmas I have gained 1.5 stones so need to get that off before I start.
I have also been converted to MB, infact DH bought me the CD for Christmas and I had it on for the first time on my way to work tonight. I skipped straight to that song. It made me cry everytime I heard it but not too bad now, just watery eyed LOL!
Hope you are feeling abit more positive about it all soon hun, Im sure once you have been you will be OK.
Well better go as I am at work (not an imsoniac being awake at this time, just working nights!!)
Love Chelle xx |
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:38 pm |
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To my sweetheart, Baby Bernard.
Well today has finally come, your due date. I know you probably wouldn't have come along today but this is the day we are celebrating as your day.
We still miss you so much but mummy and daddy can now smile and think of you without the tears.
We pray that wherever you are you are happy and not alone. I like the think of you laughing and playing with all the other angels on the clouds.
We have named a star after you today. You will always be in the sky protecting us now. Out there is a star called 'Baby Bernard'.
We are going to try and make you a baby brother or sister next month. We thought it was right to wait until after today. We will always remember you and if the next treatment doesn't work atleast we have you waiting for us.
I know I don't come on here very often and write to you but I always think of you everyday and Im sure that will continue everyday, whatever the outcome of the next few months.
Mummy and Daddy love you so much and just wish you were here with us like you should have been.
Goodnight sweetheart, love Mummy xxxx |
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Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:20 pm |
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Hi baby
Yesterday was so hard without you. It was OUR First Mothers Day and you should have been all pink a wriggly in my arms. Daddy bought me a bunch of flowers from you and Thornton, just because my baby isnt here with me why should I not have mothers day.
I was so sad yesterday baby, it made it all the more hard as you should have been with us and we should have all celebrated together. I can't help thinking of what should have been, what could have been. I looked through your box yesterday which I haven't done in a while.
Ive just found out another special angel has joined you. Please look out for the angel and make sure they are Ok for my special friend.
I love you baby, please sleep tight.
All my love Mummy xx |
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Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 2:52 pm |
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Hello Sweetheart
Mummy still thinks about you everyday, I know I don't write to you very often but you are always in my heart.
I have got 2 very special embryo's inside me now. Im praying you can help them stay with me. I know you are looking down on us and just hope that you can help mummy and daddy fulfil our dream. Please please help if you can. It doesn't mean we wanted you less we just want a sibling for you.
I love you sweetheart, Mummy xx |
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| Brandy |
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| Joined: 16 Jun 2009 |
| Posts: 1270 |
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Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 7:40 pm |
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Hi Chelle,
Just noticed you are on a 2ww.
I REALLY do hope this is your turn, all the very best of luck for you.
Loads and loads of love,
Nicole xxxx |
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Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 9:43 pm |
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Hi Chelle,
Thinking of you, wishing you los of sticky baby dust. Good luck x
Nicky x |
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Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 2:08 pm |
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Thanks Nicole and Nicky.
We are praying we can do it this time.
How are you both getting on?
Nicole good luck for your Immune consultation on Thursday.
Love Chelle xx |
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Posted: Tue May 11, 2010 10:38 am |
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To my darling baby Bernard
Thank you thank you thank you sweetheart. I know you are looking after us and have given us this wonderful gift. As you already know we are pregnant!! I am so happy we can give you a brother or sister or both.....
My heart is starting to mend from your loss and knowing you have helped in this miracle makes me want to burst with joy.
We love you baby and thank you for making mummy and daddy smile again. Keep smiling down on us and looking after us.
Love you, mummy xxxx |
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| Brandy |
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| Joined: 16 Jun 2009 |
| Posts: 1270 |
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Posted: Tue May 11, 2010 10:50 am |
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Chelle,
Congratulations !!!
I am so very pleased for you all.
Look after yourselves, loads of love,
Nicole xxx |
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| AliceS |
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| Joined: 19 Feb 2007 |
| Posts: 917 |
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Posted: Tue May 11, 2010 2:03 pm |
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Hi there,
I feel like a gatecrasher, but must say congratulations!! You deserve this so much and I hope it all goes well for you, I will keep everything crossed that you have a troublefree 8 months!
Alice xx |
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Posted: Tue May 11, 2010 3:24 pm |
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Thanks Nicole and Alice
Now the worry begins xx |
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| Wenna |
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| Joined: 12 Nov 2008 |
| Posts: 407 |
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Posted: Tue May 11, 2010 4:17 pm |
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Awww Chelle CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
I've been quietly following your progress and seeing your news had to say how happy i am for you both!!! Here's to a smooth 8mths for you and i'm sure Bernard will be looking after you & little one.
Love Wen xx |
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Posted: Tue May 11, 2010 9:21 pm |
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Hi Chelle,
Congratulations, this is wonderful news. Hope all continues to go well for you, you deserve it. Take care.
Nicky x |
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| Robbo2 |
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| Joined: 14 Mar 2007 |
| Posts: 1148 |
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Posted: Tue May 11, 2010 10:22 pm |
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Hi Chelle
I too have been watching from a far and wanted to say congratulations. Hope all goes well for the next 8 months.
Take care
Robbo x |
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Posted: Sun May 16, 2010 4:28 am |
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Baby Bernard
PLease help mummy and daddy. We are worried about the baby/s. My HCG levels are low and I am so scared that we will lose your siblings too.
Please please do what you can and look after us.
We love you baby, keep shining down on us
Mummy xx |
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| Hutchy |
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2007 |
| Posts: 2506 |
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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 7:16 pm |
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Chelle
I hope and pray that your baby Bernarnd has heard your prayers and is helping you..
I have everything crossed for you...
Hutchy xx |
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TTC-10 YRS
Jun05-Nat-Rup Ect. Sep07-IVF-BFN, Mar08-ICSI BFN, Aug08 FET-BFP M/C 9 wks, Feb09 FET-BFN Aug09-ICSI-BFP Archie born too soon @ 19 wks 26.11.09 |
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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 8:11 pm |
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Dearest Chelle,
I am thinking of you at this difficult time. I so hope your dreams are realised for you & DH. BIG Cyber hugs xx
Love Nicky x |
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Posted: Mon May 24, 2010 1:19 am |
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To my darling baby.
I am so scared sweetie. Tomorrow we find out if we have another Angel Baby. Mummy doesn't hold out much hope at all. All the signs say you are looking after your siblings in heaven. I don't know how I am going to deal with this hurt. My heart feels like it has been ripped out.
We gave it our final shot and it just wasnt good enough. I don't know what else I could have done to keep you all. What did I do wrong that meant I wasnt good enough to be your mummy.
I am praying for a miracle for tomorrow but I know the answer in my heart, my womb is empty and it always will be.
Please look after your siblings. Mummy and daddy love you so so much. xxxx |
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Posted: Mon May 24, 2010 8:41 am |
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| Dear Chelle'n'Dave i am praying with all my heart that tomorrow brings you good news please dont think you are not good enough to be a mummy that just is not so , i dont know what else to say to make it better i will be thinking of you both much love and HUGS x janette... |
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Posted: Mon May 24, 2010 8:56 pm |
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My sweetheart
Thank you so much baby. You have answered our prayers. Keep up the good work.
We love you xx |
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