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 Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 1:00 pm |
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| Hello angel x I'm struggling today because I'm frightened- we have our nt scan tomorrow for the twins but I am terrified of feeling the pain I felt when we found out about you and the feeling if my heart being ripped out. I know you have been watching over us all, and what will be right for us will happen, but your mummies are terrified. It will be a long drive to Manchester tomorrow but please remember we love you very much, and please be by our sides tomorrow x love you x |
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| Robbo2 |
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| Joined: 14 Mar 2007 |
| Posts: 1161 |
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Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 11:01 pm |
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Hiya Smellycat
Just wanted to say good luck for tomorrow - the odds of everything being OK are very much in your favour - so just hold on to that thought.
Will be thinking about you all.
Robbo x |
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 10:50 am |
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| I think about you everyday angel and today I have woken up thinking of you. Mummy is now 21 weeks pregnant with your brother and sister and doing well, but i still miss you so much x I just wanted to post on here to tell you how much I love you and hopefully you have seen the Rose bush we planted for you have to biggest red roses on them now x Love you x |
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Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 6:50 pm |
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Ah, you are bound to feel sad on some days. It will happen from time to time. When I was pregnant with E&A I felt it a lot and, in fact, have been feeling sad again a lot recently. Big hugs, and I think the rosebush idea is lovely.
xxx |
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Rosemummy
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 11:53 am |
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Hi Smellycat/Rosemummy
Sorry to just pop on but I just read that you had planted a rose bush how lovely. I hope that all is going well with your pregnancy. Thanks for helping me through my difficult time. Also wanted to let you and Rosemummy know that I have just started again for my last attempt and i had follie scan yesterday 6 follies so i am keeping everything crossed. I think of my little angel every day and I am hoping that he/she is helping me along the road this time.
Rosemummy thanks also for your support it meant a lot. I hope your doing ok and your gorgeous babies are well. |
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| Snoflake |
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| Joined: 13 Sep 2009 |
| Posts: 1627 |
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 8:50 am |
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Smellycat,
The rose is a lovely idea. My mum sent us an 'Eleanor' rose last year. Look after it, and remember to spray it to keep the aphids off.
Take care,
Love Julie xx |
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| Robbo2 |
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| Joined: 14 Mar 2007 |
| Posts: 1161 |
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 10:24 pm |
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Hi Smelleycat
As the others have said you are bound to have off days. I remember reliving every detail of my lost pregnancy with the baby I was carrying - scared stiff something was going to go wrong again. Thankfully it didn't and he arrived safe and sound - as yours will too.
Melynsada - got everything crossed for you.
Thinking of you.
Robbo xx |
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Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 10:25 pm |
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Hi Robbo
Thanks ever so much I am taking each day as it comes and trying not to hold my breath. I know this sounds odd but the folly scan the other day was hard as it was the first time i had been back to see the ultra sound room since they told me that my baby was no longer. I am hoping now I have got that over with that if I get a positive result that I will be able to look at the screen when I go for scans as I had it in my mind to tell them to switch it off. I am just going to go with the flow.
I am glad all worked out well for you.
xx |
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Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 3:01 pm |
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Angel,
Its been a while since I posted on here or on any of the boards to be honest, but I have still thought about you every day. Your Rose bush has got another beautiful red Rose coming, think it must be all this warm weather confusing the plants and torturing me!! Your mummy and I miss you so much, and we talk about you lots and lots. However, the anniversary of the day you left us is fast approaching and I just can't believe it has been a year. I still remember it so clearly and the aching in my heart. I know you watch over me and your mummy, and are taking care of your brother and sister, and we all miss you so much. I will be on maternity leave when your birthday arrives and your mummy is at work, so thinking about doing something nice to remember you- I'm not sure about visiting the crematorium yet as neither your mummy or I have been back since we left your ornaments - hurts so much to think about going there. Anyway, not that I need to tell you because you know, but I love you so very much angel x God bless x |
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Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 5:35 pm |
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Smellycat
I know how you feel. Take it easy, you will get there. The lead up to the day was the worst for me, the actual day wasn't too bad in all honesty. It may do you good to go to the cemetery and let out a few tears. On the first anni it was a Tuesday and I was due to leave on the Fri for mat leave....I couldn't have a presentation at work becuase it didn't feel right to feel happy about being pregnant and leaving for a happy occasion when one year previously I had done such a terrible thing. And I knew I wouldn't be able to stem the tidal wave of emotion. I have the biggest of cuddles flying your way....
Love and kisses
Rosemummy |
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Rosemummy
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 10:38 am |
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Sometimes life can be hard, difficult and cruel, we have to try to stay strong and positive and think to the future.
I'm so sorry to hear you news smellycat it was a very hard and difficult decision you and DH had to make but you did what you did for the right reasons and as some one else said you sound like a very very caring and thoughful person.
We all deserve some me time to concentrate on ourselves, keep looking for the positive
thinking of you
Karen |
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| Robbo2 |
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| Joined: 14 Mar 2007 |
| Posts: 1161 |
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 10:29 pm |
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Hi Smellycat
You know we're here if you need us. Thinking about you and DP. To be honest whilst of course I was upset on the day I was concentrating on the future and that's what you both need to do now. Your prescious first baby will be watching over you and it's brother and sister I'm sure.
Big hugs
Robbo x |
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 8:14 am |
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| Morning angel. Today is a year since we lost you. I can't believe it's a year ago, I still remember it like yesterday. Your mummy and I haven't mentioned it to each other this morning, but I know she is thinking about you from the cuddles she keeps giving me, and the sighs I hear her doing, and she knows I'm thinking too about you. It's still so painful for us both, but we know you are with us and your brother & sister. I was going to do something nice today to 'be with you' like wander round town and just sit and have a coffee and cake and just have some quiet time, maybe even come to the crematorium, but now the hospital have given us a scan appointment for today- your mummy and I so desperately didn't want to be at the hospital today but it has fallen that way unfortunately - please let everything be ok with your brother & sister today or that would really be salt in a very open wound. Your mummy did say yesterday that she hoped you were happy and behaving yourself whilst running around Peter pan hill - she did make me laugh because she was giving you a word in your ear about your behaviour!!! We miss you so so much, and although we are both excited about the coming weeks, we will never ever forget you or stop loving you! All my love sweetheart, your mummies x x |
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 4:56 pm |
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Smellycat - BIG HUGS x The first anniversary is always hard, even with so much to look forward to. Your little angel will know they are loved very much x
Nicky x |
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 7:06 pm |
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Smellycat
Thinking of you both on this day. it is very difficult but you will slowly get there. Hope the scan went well, you need some reassuring news on today of all days.
Love
Rosemummy |
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Rosemummy
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 7:34 pm |
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| Angel - thank you x today was very strange as it felt like you really were with us. Firstly we get a scan on the day we lost you, then the sonographer who did the scan was the man who did our cvs (I felt horrid when I saw him and hoped so much he wouldn't call us but he did) and he was lovely and remembered us, then we went to the room for doctor where we were taken for our bloods to initially test for any problems when we were carrying you. Everything today just was as if you were there and each step reminded us of you x even the midwife who came to do blood pressure etc was the midwife who looked after us right through the whole ordeal of losing you - you were definitely with us and bringing us good luck because your brother and sister are doing very well and are now head down which means natural delivery for me, and they are weighing in and measuring just above average. Thank you angel and remember mummies love you so very very much x |
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 8:40 pm |
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Hi Smellycat,
I have just read your thread and wanted to congratulate you on your twins! It must be a very exciting time for you both.
Also I wanted to thank you for your thread, I had my nuchal scan on Friday and got a measurement of 5, so this weekend has been horrific for us, reading your first post was like someone had written down my thoughts and I wanted to thank you for making me feel less alone....
Hopefully the cvs will be clear... I am trying to stay positive.
Thanks again xxxx |
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:19 pm |
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Smellycat where is the post? Oh I do hope you are OK, thought you had gone a bit quiet!
Sam, try not to worry. Until you have the info you must try to stay positive. these things are sometimes misleading - always OK to prepare for the worst but at least you have the info....that is the whole point of doing the tests in the first place...if you are going to do nothing with the info why have the scans etc....it may be that you choose to continue and that is a personal decision but I do think that the scans are offered for a good clinical reason...sadly many people assume that they are going to be oK and it is an opportunity to see their baby - which of course it is and in the majority of cases everything is fine but at least we all have the opportunity to make a choice and that is better than no choice at all.....so you stay strong!
xx |
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| Robbo2 |
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| Joined: 14 Mar 2007 |
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:55 pm |
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OOOh Rosemummy
You got me all excited but I've read Sam's post in an entirely different way to you I think. I think Sam is referring to Smellycats v first post about her first child she lost and now Sam is congratulating Smellycat on the fact the she's having twins - not HAD them - if all that makes sense??? If not let us know what's happenning Smellycat  !
Sam - my thoughts are with you and I have an idea what's going on in your head as I have been where you are now. Stay strong and and I have everything crossed for your CVS results - let us know how you get on.
Robbo x |
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 7:47 am |
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Sam - as hard as it is and as confused as you are right now, you have to stay positive. Try and give yourself time and 'rational time', because the thing I regret the most was being so wrapped up in emotion and making decisions whilst I was in that state that I perhaps wouldn't have made in a more logical frame of mind. I really do hope everything turns out just perfect for you, and remember you and your DP will be strong throughout all of this, it might not feel like it, but talk to each other, hold each other up and you can face anything. I hope the CVS test is the news you want to hear, my thoughts are with you x
Robbo - you're absolutely right in the way you've read the post - I posted on the other thread- I've not had the twins yet- got an appointment today where hopefully I will get an induction date. Have been in hospital with a uti and contractions but all has settled now thankfully x |
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 7:48 am |
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Hi Ladies,
Robbo, you read the post right, sorry to confuse!
After 4 horrible days the tests have come back clear, thank god! It was terrible and I really think the midwives should find a more emotionally pain free way of managing the process. Still I guess they are conditioned to not give false hope....It doesn't help that I am the type of person who has to think through all of the consequences before they have happened!!!
Anyway, once again thank you Smellycat for posting your original post, I can only imagine how hard it has been for you, but I wanted to thank you for giving me comfort that I was not the only one thinking the thoughts that were going through my mind.
Enjoy the next few weeks and the beginning of your new journey! xxxx |
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 8:28 am |
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| Samblack I am do delighted that everything is clear - kept checking on here wondering if you had posted. I know how awful the last few days will have been for you, and the worst case scenario thoughts that have gone through your head along with the buckets if tears you will have cried. What you now need to do is relax because the last few days will have put tremendous stress on you, your DP and baby - do relax, do some nice things together and begin to enjoy the fact that you're going to be parents. I wish you the very best for the remaining 6 mths of pregnancy and look forward to a post of incredible news when your little one arrives x |
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 11:44 pm |
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| Angel, I wanted to post and say thank you to you. I've not had a minute to do so since your brother Joshua, and your sister Olivia were born 9 days ago. Thank you so much for watching over us all and keeping us safe, I know you will have done. Your mummy and I, have thanked you many a time over the last 9 days, and have even noticed the two bright red rise buds appearing on your rose bush - beautiful! We know we are very very lucky to have Joshua & Olivia, but it still hasn't stopped us feeling sad at what should have been with you - you will never ever be forgotten and will always have a very special place in our hearts and we will tell Joshua & Olivia about you one day. Goodnight and god bless my darling x x |
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 12:13 am |
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Big hugs xxx
You are all doing so well...please update us when you can...but also you will feel such conflict too which I also felt so am assuming is normal...!!! Ha Ha. Oh Smellycat wishing you much love and strength (and of course,sleep...)
xxx |
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:03 pm |
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| Congratulations Smellycat! That is fantastic news! xxxx |
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