| jenjes |
|
| Joined: 07 Oct 2010 |
| Posts: 12 |
|
 Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 5:32 pm |
|
|
|
|
 |
Hi this is my first time posting on the board and just wondered if there's anyone out there who is over 40 and had 2 failed IVF cycles.
I feel that I desparately need some support and encouragement from your kind ladies as I've just gone through a DE cycle and got a BFN  . I didn't cope very well this cycle, tried to relax and even took time off work but was worried the whole time. I thought it had worked this time round as I didn't have a bleed - last cycle I bled 8 days after a blastocyst transfer so I thought I knew what to expect etc. I still haven't bled as yet but know it will be on its way very soon.
Any support would be much appreciated.
xx |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Maple |
|
| Joined: 15 Nov 2008 |
| Posts: 7790 |
|
Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:08 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Jenjes,
I am sorry to hear of your BFN ... it is truly heartbreaking and soul destroying.
I'm afraid most over 40 ladies using their own eggs would have at least 2 failed cycles under their belt. With using donor eggs, there are a lot of first time successes, but there are still a few multiple failures.
Unfortunately with donor eggs, it is still luck of the draw and success is not guaranteed ... I would say it's only 1 in 3 chance of success with donor eggs in the U.K.
Time is healer ... do give yourself plenty of that to get over the pain and disappointment of a BFN. Please do come on here to chat ... I am sure the ladies here will give you the support you need at this horrid time.
Take care,
Maple
xxx |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| jenjes |
|
| Joined: 07 Oct 2010 |
| Posts: 12 |
|
Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:24 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
Maple
Thanks for your quick response and support. I know that I'll bounce back one day but at the moment I just can't stop crying and asking the question `was the eggs not good enough', `is it my body rejecting them'. GP has signed me off this week so hopefully I'll be feeling much more in control when I go back to work. It will be hard though because of people coming up to you and wanting to hug you etc, it will just bring it all flooding back.
I've got a counselling session on Wednesday and then can you believe it, first day back at work and I've got a Consultant Review Appointment so got to take p.m. off!!! I've already made a list of questions as second time round you feel more apt in asking a lot more questions etc.
After your ET did you lie down for any length of time because this time round in Manchester I didn't and was allowed to go to the toilet straight away and then was sent home. First time round and it wasn't with CARE, I was wheeled on a bed and left for 45mins. Seems very strange to me because my next cycle I'm planning on going to Northampton (shorter wait time) and they've informed me that after ET you are wheeled onto the ward and left there for a while before being allowed to go home.
Jenjes |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Maple |
|
| Joined: 15 Nov 2008 |
| Posts: 7790 |
|
Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:33 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Jenjes,
I personally don't think that whether you lie down for that 45 minutes or not (or go to the loo straight away) would have affected the outcome. Once the embryos are transferred, they are sandwiched in the uterus, and can't drop out.
If this was your first DE treatment, then I would say that the embryos weren't good/viable enough to implant. The stats for DE treatment is 1 in 3 chance of success ... so you have just been unlucky this time.
Maple
xxx |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| jenjes |
|
| Joined: 07 Oct 2010 |
| Posts: 12 |
|
Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:43 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
Maple
Thanks for that. I'll ask the Consultant when I see him about the quality of them. They were grade 2 which I know can implant - I'm just one of the unlucky ones.
It is devastating because you want it so badly and nobody other than the ladies on here know what its like to go through treatment. Friends/colleagues tell you they understand how you're feeling but how can they - their mind & body hasn't been screwed up during treatment.
I'm glad I've built up the courage to post on here today. I've been reading threads all through my 2WW and wanted to post something but didn't have the courage. Thanks again for your support.
Logging off now but will definitely come back on to chat.
Jenjes
x |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Maple |
|
| Joined: 15 Nov 2008 |
| Posts: 7790 |
|
Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:56 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Jenjes,
I have had 3 failed OE treatments and 5 failed DE treatments (including DE FET treatments) ... I know how devastating it feels ... with each failure, it gets harder and more painful.
But given a bit more time, you will find the strength to battle on ... the dream keeps us going.
Take care,
Maple
xxx |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 7:13 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
Jenjes,
So sorry to hear of your BFN.
What Maple said rings true about down to luck, your consultant will be able to best advise you and answer questions. Hoping you will be the lucky one next time!!
I have actually had treatment at both CARE Northampton and Manchester, couldnt fault the care at either place. Had my last cycle, DE cycle at Manchester, gown over own clothes, DH own clothes and hospital clogs on feet, no lying down after, went to loo straight after, then home,( as had a 200 mile car journey home!!)
Northampton, gowned up and DH too!! walked to and from theatre, had to
rest briefly after on my allocated bed. Went to loo first time but not second cycle!!
I was surprised how different the clinics were, but had success with one I
was in and out with, don't think that not resting and going to the loo you affected the outcome.
Good Luck with your consultation and your future plans, Karen at Northampton is lovely, I was on both waiting lists but Manchester came up sooner. Northampton staff were great!!
Take Care and give yourself time to grieve, it's early days!!
Charliexxx |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 10:16 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Jenjes, we've just had our first BFP on our third DE cycle (one fresh, two FET). All from the same donor, so we'll never know if it was quality of embryos, or me not hanging onto them,
I do believe that there is an element of luck, and of just "playing the odds".
All of our cycles have been at Northampton, and as Charlie says, you walk to and from theatre, not wheeled on the bed. I've always had to go to the loo straight after too and as Maple says, that really makes no difference. Someone described the embryo once as a grain of sand in a jam sandwich - it really can't fall out.
Wishing you the very best of luck for next time,
Amanda xxx |
|
_________________
 |
|
|
|
|
|
| jenjes |
|
| Joined: 07 Oct 2010 |
| Posts: 12 |
|
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:58 am |
|
|
|
|
|
Ladies, thank you so much for your words of support it means a lot.
Everywhere I look at the moment there's someone that's either just announced their pregnant, just given birth or just generally talking about babies and although I try and be happy for them, it's unbearable. I was watching tv last night and someone mentioned they would donate the money they won on the show to IVF to make someone elses dream come true. I just broke down yet again
Sorry for going on and on but this cycle has really broken me and I feel so incredibly sad all the time.
jenjes xx |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:26 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
| Hi Jenjes, I am 41 and on my 4th ivf/icsi cycle, my first cycle I got Bfp but sadly had a mc at 13weeks 2nd and 3rd attempts bfn and otd for this cycle is 2nd March! Am really scared as the reality is that this cycle won't wrk either and we are not trying again as have run out of money and not sure my body could cope! I do know that people over 40 do have success though. Thinking about you, Anita xx |
|
_________________
Anita cj |
|
|
|
|
|
| Lubo |
|
| Joined: 23 Sep 2008 |
| Posts: 1443 |
|
Posted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:29 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
So sorry this cycle didn't work honey- I can still remember very clearly the feelings I had after BFNs or cancelled cycles.
I have a 2 year old son ....IVF number 7 aged 40.
Good Luck honey
Lubo xxxxx |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| jenjes |
|
| Joined: 07 Oct 2010 |
| Posts: 12 |
|
Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 3:24 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
I'm 44 now and the next cycle will be my third. Not sure I'd have the strength to go through 7 cycles even though I want a child so bad.
I have my review appt on Monday so will see how that goes. Had some counselling yesterday and although it was painful to discuss, I feel it was the best thing to do and hopefully I'll start to feel better soon. Back to work on Monday which I'm dreading but I think once the first morning is out of the way I'll be able to carry on as normal (well as much as possible anyway).
Jenjes x |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Lubo |
|
| Joined: 23 Sep 2008 |
| Posts: 1443 |
|
Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 7:57 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
Jenjes- did you use Clexane and prednisoline last cycle? I am sure that is what made the difference for me last time. I had the full level 2 tests done (immune) but I know many clinics are now offering Clexane and prednisoline after 2/3 failed cycles.....might be something worth asking about????? My friend went to a clinic that did not do immune treatment but did (after she asked) give her prendsioline and Clexane...........and is now pregnant 
Wishing you loads of luck honey xxxxxx |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| jenjes |
|
| Joined: 07 Oct 2010 |
| Posts: 12 |
|
Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 9:28 am |
|
|
|
|
|
Lubo - I was on Progynova (2 tablets 3 times a day) and Utrogestan 100 (2 pessaries twice a day). I will definitely ask about Clexane and Prednisoline, thanks.
Thanks for your support. Only you ladies know just how difficult going through treatment is.
Jenjes x |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Mae |
|
| Joined: 31 May 2007 |
| Posts: 281 |
|
Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 10:08 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
Jenjes
It might give you some comfort to know that I got pregnant with twins at the grand old age of 49 at Care Manchester & was actually 50 before they were born. They will be 2 on the 9th March.
We had the in & out treatment even though on all our previous cycles we had been wheeled down & rested afterwards & I have to say at the time I was not at all impressed with the in & out treatment but obviously it worked!
All of my BFN's were incredibly painful & hard to deal with & I actually remember saying to the nurse when she asked me how I felt that I felt suicidal.
Its a horrible cliche but time will help but please be kind to yourself & give yourself time to recover, so sorry sweetheart xx
Mae xx |
|
_________________
 |
|
|
|
|
|
| jenjes |
|
| Joined: 07 Oct 2010 |
| Posts: 12 |
|
Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 1:25 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
Mae - that's really encouraging to hear that.
First day back at work was on Monday and I tried extremely hard to hold it together but when I was called in for my `back to work interview', I just broke down again. Although nobody at work has mentioned the treatment etc, they're all still taking about babies in front of me which is so difficult. I'm not crying as much now but it still makes me feel really sad.
Same day (afternoon), I had my review appointment with consultant and they've agreed that I should have the Level 1 & 2 blood tests performed. My next treatment cycle is going to be at Northampton so they are just waiting for my notes to be copied and sent before I can have the tests performed. My GP has agreed to do all the Level 1 tests which is good news. Although this sounds bad, I'm hoping that the tests show something cos at least we'll have an idea of why it's failed.
As always, thanks for all your words of support and encouragement.
Luv Jenjes xx |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Elizas |
|
| Joined: 05 Jul 2007 |
| Posts: 48 |
|
Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:40 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
| I have just had a BFN in February this was my 4th cycle all using donor eggs 2nd treatment was a BFP but sadly ended with a missed miscarriage heartbeat stopped at 7+6 weeks I am now 41 years old. After the 2ww I went back to work on the neonatal unit to find out 2 of my colleagues are pregnant. I have kept together whilst at work but at home I have been an emotional wreck. Eliza |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| jenjes |
|
| Joined: 07 Oct 2010 |
| Posts: 12 |
|
Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 10:26 am |
|
|
|
|
|
Eliza
Sorry to hear that.
I work in a GP surgery and one of the doctors gave birth yesterday - only just found out this morning. I'm trying to keep it together and not show that I'm upset but its really hard.
We're going to a talk re: adoption on Thursday evening at Care Nottm. We've decided that if the next donor egg cycle doesn't work then we're going to go forward to adopt. I'm desparate for Northampton to phone me to say they've received my notes and can book me in for the Level 2 blood tests. I really need to know whether somethings wrong with me.
I'm at work at the moment and shouldn't really be on here but with the news I've just heard, I couldn't help myself.
Take care of yourself.
Jenjes x |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Elizas |
|
| Joined: 05 Jul 2007 |
| Posts: 48 |
|
Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 1:52 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
| I know it is so hard to deal with Jenjes, you want to be happy for them but the emotional impact on us who are struggling it does not get any easier. One of the girls I work with conceived using clomid her due date is what would have been my due date last year if I had not miscarried which makes me feel worse. Take care and big hugs. I have an adopted son, so if you need any advice feel free to ask. xx |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| jenjes |
|
| Joined: 07 Oct 2010 |
| Posts: 12 |
|
Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 10:14 am |
|
|
|
|
|
Eliza
I think the talk on Thursday will enlighten us more on the possibility of adoption. If we go down this route I would want a baby (up to 6 months old) and I know the waiting list is extremely long.
Do they scrutinise everything, your home etc.
Jenjes |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Maple |
|
| Joined: 15 Nov 2008 |
| Posts: 7790 |
|
Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 11:18 am |
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Jenjes,
Good luck with your talk on Thursday. If you do go down the adoption route, do try and be more flexible about the age of the child you want to adopt. Unfortunately, nearly all adoptive parents like to have babies i.e. under 1 year old. The LA/Agencies tend to allocate the younger babies to younger adoptive parents, so your age might be against you. But I have known a few adoptive parents managing to get babies under 1 year old.
If you want to know about the adoption process, there are some ladies who have gone through the process on the 'What Next' forum who will be able to help you out.
Good luck.
Maple
xxx |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| jenjes |
|
| Joined: 07 Oct 2010 |
| Posts: 12 |
|
Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 3:02 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks as always Maple.
Jenjes xx |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Elizas |
|
| Joined: 05 Jul 2007 |
| Posts: 48 |
|
Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 6:44 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
| I have just been told that I need level 2 tests although I am an egg recepient so confused. Had x2 failed implantation and x1 mmc. I don't know what to do now as costs for tests approx £2000. In the review the consultant must think I have a bottomless purse, where do they think you get money from? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Lubo |
|
| Joined: 23 Sep 2008 |
| Posts: 1443 |
|
Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 1:09 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
Elizas- have you read Alan Beer's book "is your body baby friendly' ......I found it useful when deciding what to do
I know £2000 is ALOT of money but for me is was worth it.........I am still driving a V reg car due to all the money we spend on fertility treatment-lol!!! I had 5 IVF/FET cycles prior to getting tests done (2 BFPs but both MMC ) For us it was the best £2000 I have ever spent!!!!!! I travelled from Scotland down to Care Notts...more pennies but I now have a fab little boy.
Lots of decisions ahead- if you have any questions please just ask
Lots of love
L xxxx |
|
_________________
 |
|
|
|
|
|
| jenjes |
|
| Joined: 07 Oct 2010 |
| Posts: 12 |
|
Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 4:59 pm |
|
|
|
|
|
Is that how much CARE charge just for Level 2 tests (£2,000)? I was informed by the consultant in Manchester that its £800 for Level 2 - my GP's going to do Level 1. I am having Level 2 tests done at CARE Northampton but just waiting for an appointment but didn't realise they were £2,000.
I heard about the book `is your body baby friendly' and I ordered a copy - it came yesterday. I've only read about 10 pages but what an eye opener - so far, I'm really impressed with the book and would definitely recommend it.
Jenjes x |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
