CARE Fertility Bulletin Board

Sue123 · 21 Oct 2009

hELLO Ladies,

Tigger- I'm so so sorry to hear your news, unfortunately I know just how you feel as do many people who read these booards. I know its not much consolation but at least if you read on here you do realize that you are not the only one who is having trouble having a family. (unlike in the real world where sometimes you just feel like a freak and a failure for not being able to do something which seems so easy and simple to everyone else). Take a leaf out of my book- book a holiday and order a new car!!
I know it wont make me feel better in the long term, but short term it gets you through and helps to ease the sadness a little. xxxxx

Josie- School is a nightmare- We have got emergency building work on the ceilings in the classrooms so I had to move into the hall (along with 2 other reception classes) last wednesday while our classrooms were made safe. Packing everything up and moving was a nightmare. Ive got to do it all again tomorrow to move back, presuming the work is finished and the cleaners have been in. There is dust and dirt everywhere!! To be fair the 70 kids have coped quite well and seen it as an adventure. Its just the staff that are frazzled! Know what you mean about the EYFS, I find it very tedious and I hate doing my learning journeys. We have got moderation from our local LEA next term and we are also still waiting for OFSTED anyday so not really enjoying work at the moment. Also need to start thinking about my reports aswell because they take so long to do I usually start them at Easter.

JEP- Im really glad everything is working out well for you this time. Keep up the PMA and enjoy every minute!
Yes, hubby started 3 yr nursing course in Jan so its not been easy for him. He was trying to complete his first assignment last week during all the IVF stress/disappointment. Anyway, he finally got it in on the deadline day so we are hoping he passes it. He starts his first placement after easter.

Got to get ready to go and visit my Gran who is quite ill in hospital (my mum didnt tell me for a week because of what we were going throough) so its my first visit to see her and she's been in there 10 days.

Ok must go now, hello to everyone else too, I hope you are enjoying the lovely sunshine. xx

Love Sue. xxx

JEP · 26 Jun 2011

Oh sue - it never rains but it pours!
Who on earth felt it was appropriate to give you all this extra stress with work and your grandma whilst you were going through such a difficult time with ivf. It really isn't on. I, like everyone else that knows you on here, and what you have been through, wish we could do something to ease the burden. I figure you are right - its all hands to the deck to get school ship shape again, then not long til Easter when you can get away (where you off to chick?). Knowing what a busy career is like I think you're right to start writing reports early etc especially if ousted are lurking in the shaddows (evil monster!) and even if that means you will be working more in your own time it will only feel good ticking things off you to-do list. I guess it will also act as some form of distraction whilst you are doing it. Well done to DH for assignment - a true student handing in his assignment on the last day!!on the wire!! I hope he enjoys his first placement and he does not want to recoil back into his old uniform! Keep in touch when you can xxx

Em n rick - good to hear from you - counting the sleeps til your scan - that is great. Hope you are bearing up ok and stay positive.

Melski - not long now til OTD - you still getting heartburn? Anything else?? Really excited for you!

I've read in the frozen thread that shopgirl is having FET on Wednesday - good luck with that. Hope things have gone smoothly up until now for you and good luck. You'll soon be PUPO and letting your embie get all snuggly. For what it is worth i think you've made the right choice about having 1 blast back the first time too!

How is everyone else doing? I hope all ok and managed to enjoy the sunshine? shame Monday is about to hit us all......

We did a 3 mile ish dog walk - probably the longest walk since we got our BFP - oh man - I have got unfit!! It was mostly on the flat, one gentle hill and I had rosey old cheeks and kept stopping to sip water. Mind you he made me carry my mini rucksac too - meanie!! Think some of it must be deconditioning as I'm sitting on my bottom quite a lot these days but also I'm more short of breath. Must be the little one causing some havoc. Don't want to get really unfit though so must look at some good ways of exercising for when I'm a bit further on. Shame I loath swimming as I think that would be quite good for me! They say you shouldnt ride a bike whilst youre preggers but i think thats more that you may fall off rather than any problems with pressure on your doo-dah! Until then I'll keep eating choc fingers and jelly snakes and forget about the rest!

Lots of love and spring like hugs to everyone
JEP
X

Melski · 07 Jan 2011

Hi guys,

Sue - I hope your gran was ok and bet she was pleased to see you!
Tigger - I'm so sorry for your disappointing BFN, especially as you've been feeling so positive as the others have said.
AFM , thanks for all your kind wishes of support. I'm still getting mild heartburn after every meal, but am sure it's too early for this to be a symptom. I have had a few AF type pains today which I know only too well could be AF on it's way in a few days, or a BFP as I had AF pains last time, albiet a few days earlier. I'm not going to test before Tuesday night at the earliest, as think AF may arrive before OTD if that's what the pains are. Please keep sending me the positive vibes so that I can bring up good news at the rear of this thread...!

littlemrsc · 06 May 2011

*positive vibes*

JEP · 26 Jun 2011

***positive vibes***

From me too!

Nasty AF lady stay away
Xxx

josie67 · 02 Oct 2011

Hi Melski,

Lets hope that the man from del mote says.......YES!

And also - a quick shake of the PMA poms poms to you. Hope you appreciate the 10 cheerleaders balancing upon eachother holding the 'positive vibes' banner? What - you didn't see them? Well Melski, they were outside your house for hours today! Dear me. I had trained them and everything. xxx

JEP, Em and Smiles - how are are preggars girls doing? Hope you are all keeping well? JEP - i was so pleased to heard about your reassurance scan. So amazing xxx

Sue - 4 more sleeps. Thanks the lord and allelujah! Hope your gran is getting better hun xxx

Patty hun, when are you thinking of going again? I forget whether you said you had money for another go straight away or if you need to save? We're lucky enought to have the money as i saved enough in my isa for 3 gos and we've had 2, but still not convinced to go through it again. DH more so than me, but we'll see what they say on friday. Of course they will try to persuade us as it is all money to them at the end of the day - but we have blinkers well and truly off, and only if they suggest something is possibly wrong, or a complete miracle cure that we don't yet know about will we reconsider!!!! xxx

Tigs, how are you bearing up? How long until you test again? i so hope there will be different news for you, but if not, sending you lots of hugs. xxx

Hope lala and lisa are well, and on the next part of your journey xxx

AFM I am cream crackered. meant to be continuing with school work but can't even think straight, and i'm sure DH will be a sex pest tonight as i escaped to the spare room last night to carry on with my work! Ah well - it's all good although i could do without when i'm this stressed!! You know what - i need to do baking and eat cake - that will sort me out! Bring on the weekend.
Oh, and the care Nurses phoned me up today just to see how i was! IS that normal? They didn't last time. Must be a new thing.

Lots of love to you all,

Josie xxx

pattym · 14 Jan 2012

Hi Josie we are thinking of going again June time, we had saved up enough for the second time, but am going to wait the full three months anyway as need to fit it in around work. My boss did tell me not to take all the time off as hols though which I was pretty relieved about. I had 6 days off in the end, 3 hols 3 sick which I think is pretty fair.
I went out on a proper night out on friday, it was good to sweep the cobwebs away and put things behind me. I really suffered with a hangover though I'm out of practice.
How good of the nurses to phone you, I don't think they have to so probably someone being considerate.
It is a very tough call whether to have another go. When you think about it the treatment it's a real inexact science and alot of it does come down to luck. Maybe see how you feel after counselling and when you have had time to process things properly.

Sue -I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. best wishes to your gran.

Jep - 3 miles, I can manage about 1 without being preggers. So pleased your scan went well.

Melski - Hope you are hanging on in there. No AF is a really good sign, we really need another BFP on this thread.

Tigger - I hope you managed to get some rest over the weekend, thinking of you.

Lala and Lisa -hope you guys are well, are you thinking of going again?

best wishes to everyone else.

Quick one - I have spotting today (day 21) is this normal?

JEP · 26 Jun 2011

Hiya guys
Nice to see some action in here!

Melski - not long now chick - are you still planning on testing tonight? Make sure you do the care test and another on at the same time! To avoid all the panic when cares test looks negative then you realise there is a mega mega mega faint line...easier if you just do a normal test alongside it. Loads of luck chick!

Josie - I'm not surprised you are taking time to think about the next steps and if you put yourself through all of this again... In my mind I'd thought we'd have 3 goes if needed - partly as you say for the luck element of approx 1/3rd of cycles working out. Hope you have some good qns to ask them - as you say the blinkers are off now! They will prob tweak your protocol and I guess ou want to know how & why?? Yes - agree get baking this weekend - that may satisfy your DH and stop him being a pest when you are so busy with work?! Bless... My DH not being a pest - yet! Daren't do it if I'm honest esp with all the town spotting but won't be able to hold off that long I'm sure. Anyway he's not moaning too much as I am looking after him! I've not heard of the nurse phoning either - you must be a special one! Hahaha!

Patty - great that your boss is being supportive for you chick and not needing to take it all as hol is great. I personally strongly recommend taking the full 2ww off rather than going back to work, but I know everyone is different on this one. It did feel like a 'waste' of holiday but if you can try and do some nice stuff, have a weekend away with DH or follow my steps and get some musical theatre under your belt I'm sure it will help the pleasant distraction! Glad you had a great sight out and could let our hair down & enjoy. Urgh to hangover though... Bet that was a shock to the system hey?!

Tiggy - how are you babe? You've really been in my thoughts xxx

Lisa, lala, sue - how about you? Have you decided if you are going to face the journey again or has another door has opened? I know it's early days yet and don't feel pushed to make a decision but just hope you a looking after yourselves, getting loads of cuddles form your DH 's and taking some time to consider the options.

AFM - I've been brave - you'd all be so proud of me!!
I have emailed all my partners at work before I left last night & told them I am going to look at April and see if I can take say one day holiday each week to make my life a bit nicer whilst I am so shattered. I just figured I need to listen to the nurses, midwives, DH, family & YOU GUYS!! I cannot keep doing 11- 12 hr days and then doing admin at the weekend too. Just got to see what time I can squeeze in on the holiday rota. Intact I suppose with the easter days off that is 2 short weeks anyway so really only a couple of weeks to look at. Then at end of the month will be up to the 12 week mark and hoping I'll feel better. My DH just keeps saying it is good practice for me - ie being bloody knackered! I'm also getting short of breath, palpitations, dizzy (blood pressure low yesterday at my appt) so I figure I need to listen to my body. Will be interesting to see what they say today but don't suppose theres a huge amt they can say?!

Keep smiling guys and try and keep a hold of some PMA
Josie is now an accomplished pom Pom cheerleading dancing lady and I'm sending you all magpies galore.
Lots of love
JEP
X

JEP · 26 Jun 2011

Ps patty - I don't know if your spotting is normal - I figure things may take a month or two to settle back down. I know lal's AF was 5 or 6 days later that it should have been.

Guess your body trying to work out what to do without being rammed full of hormones?

Some of the others may know more though!

Melski · 07 Jan 2011

Cheers guys,
Struggled to get out my house the last 2 mornings as had to clamber over hoardes of cheerleaders shaking their pom poms in my face, thanks Josie! I too have been saving my IVF money in ISAs. Fingers crossed Iâ€™m not going to need it and we can save it for a sibling or a family holiday to Disney in a few years!

Patty, bonus on not losing all your holidays for your last treatment. First hangover in a few months, groanâ€¦ Also canâ€™t help you about the spotting, but hope things settle down for you soon.

JEP, decided weâ€™re not going to test tonight. Weâ€™re going to leave it and do it in the morning. Have decided that whatever the result, itâ€™s not going to impact our day that much so weâ€™ll just get on with it. If itâ€™s BFN, weâ€™ll go off to work happy to be distracted. If itâ€™s BFP, weâ€™ll be behaving like itâ€™s not for the first few weeks anyway, so will still go off to workâ€¦ Friends of ours just got a BFP from 2 blasts (their last attempt) and then had a biochem a week after OTD, exactly the same as us, so Iâ€™d want to get at least a week past OTD before I considered telling even our parents this time. Doing short weeks to get you through to 12 weeks sounds like a really sensible idea. Fingers crossed for a good response from the partners thenâ€¦ x

JEP · 26 Jun 2011

Melski - sending you, your DH and the Dougster massive Big good luck flocks of magpies for your test tomorrow.

Will be thinking of you and will look on for your news. You sound 50:50 so not a bad position to be in. I know it's a protective element so not to be distraught if it's a bfn but also I just don't think you can call these things... We all hope to get sympotms but all know kost of the time its e pessaries that cause them all anyway! I know what you mean about not holding your breath and after previous mc and the sadness for us and our immediate families it is harder to be brighter next time around. I really hope you get a big fat positive result!!

Hope you get some sleep tonight

Love to all
JEP
Xxx

Em n Rick · 14 Sep 2009

Melski, good luck for tomorrow sweetie Smile

hope it's a BFP for you Smile

Love to everyone else, on phone so sorry it's short xxxx

Melski · 07 Jan 2011

Morning ladies, unfortunately a BFN for us this morning. Naturally disappointed, but we're ok. It really would have been a miracle if either of our embies had managed to implant while I was coughing like a smoker for the entire 2ww! Anyway, we're both off to work so straight back to normal and we'll make the most of the next few months with the puppy and have our holiday in May before we try again. Next one we're paying for though so that's a bit scary! Don't suppose anyone can tell me the rough cost of an ICSI cycle with immune drugs? Anyway, hope you're all ok on this lovely sunny day and catch up again later. Thanks for your well wishes, but having got a BFP last time, it was someone elses turn this time x

JEP · 26 Jun 2011

Oh bugger melski. Really sorry for you bfn chick. Good on you for picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and getting back to work. I think your plan for the next few months sounds a good one - enjoy yourselves and dougie, have a fab holiday in may and come back fighting for your self funded cycle. I hope your review goes ok and you get some ideas of what changes they may make to your protocol so it works next time round.

Have a large glass of vino tonight - you deserve it chick !!!

X

smiles123 · 03 Dec 2010

Hi Melski, really sorry to hear your news dear. I was hoping you get a BFP this time. But am so inspired by your positivity Smile

And plans to look ahead. Have you booked your review appointment with a Dr as yet? Try to get an appointment with Ken Dowell or Rahnuma if possible.

Anyways look fwd to your holiday and enjoy all the things you could not do otherwise. Good luck chick!

Melski · 07 Jan 2011

Cheers guys,

JEP the glass of vino (or two!) has been booked for Friday night with friends.

Smiles, review booked for 3/5 with Rhanuma who we've always found fab in the past. Just waiting to hear back from nurse about whether I should stop taking thyroxine as it took a while to stablise my thyroid which delayed our treatment this time around.

Am going to do some digging into other complementary therapies and have a break from accupuncture for a couple of months (since I dislike it so much) and also some research into supplements/vitamins.

Does anyone know the approximate cost of an ICSI cycle including immune drugs? x

josie67 · 02 Oct 2011

Melski, I Am gutted that it hasn't worked for you Hun. I'm so sorry, and I know you say that you feel ok about it, but just make sure you still give yourself time as the upset can sometimes get you unexpected if you haven't addressed it. On the other hand it is great that you have a plan, and I really believe you reach your dream next time sweetie. Sending lots of love. Oh, and the cheerleaders will still be around for you next time, I promise xxx

josie67 · 02 Oct 2011

Melski, my icsi cycle was 6500 without immune drugs. There again I was on the top dose of menopur etc. sorry an't help more than that xxx

Melski · 07 Jan 2011

Ouch Josie, Care N'ton have just quoted me roughly Â£5000 inc drugs, so I hope it's not that much! x

josie67 · 02 Oct 2011

Blinking eck. I wonder why mine was so expensive? Surely top dose of menopur can't make that much of a difference. No wonder the care nurses called me 'to see if I was alright' maybe I paid extra for that!! Got a feeling I've been ripped off now lol!

How is everyone doing on this lovely sunny day? Xxx

Sue123 · 21 Oct 2009

Hi Josie,

I think your bill was about right. I think the cycle with top wack of menopaur is about 5,500 then the ICSI is another 1000 on top, that is about what we paid. Then immune drugs would be on top of that if you had those Melski.

Sue. x

Melski · 07 Jan 2011

So I'd better get saving hard then, sounds like the nurse didn't even quote me to the nearest Â£2k!!!

pattym · 14 Jan 2012

Melski I'm so sorry to hear your news, I was really hoping that you would get a bfp - we really need some good news stories on our thread. Good on you for picking yourself up and getting on with things. it's really good that you have a holiday on the horizon to keep you going. Â£6.5k sounds very steep indeed, I hope you have some savings tucked away. Take some time out to rest and recover

I hope you don't mind but I need to have a bit of a moan. Just had the worst week. I have been working really late nights and was in until 10pm on weds working on a powerpoint presentation, which I've spent weeks on. Got into work today feeling knackered, then my boss came in to announce he'd just been to his 12 week scan. I felt like i'd been kicked in the stomach. It's the worst i've felt through all of the annoucements I've had. I couldn't say anything to him, let alone even whisper the words congratulations. I had to hide in the loo for a while before I stopped crying.
Then today a friend came up to visit from down south with her baby, I was hoping to catch up with her, but she made excuses and instead hung out with my other friends who are at home with families.
I know this is a real sob story but just feeling a rock bottom. it was awful having to hold it in all day.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

josie67 · 02 Oct 2011

Oh Patty you lovely lady. It is sooooooooooooooooo crap that we have all struggled so much for our dream of being a mummy, and I think we are naturally sensitive around new announcements. And when they come unexpected like that today, you can't help but feel a whole host of emotions including self pity, regret, sadness, anger, hope that it will be you next, envy, and also guilt for feeling envy. It goes round our heads time and again and all we can do is try to hide it among colleagues or people we don't know so well, or try to discussit with close friends and family, but even then, noone understands it like all of us on here, so you are in the best place to share your feelings. And that isn't to say Jep, em, and smiles that we felt like that with you guys, I think because we know you have struggled too makes it really really easy to be sooooo happy for you, as you represent proof that it can work for women like us. I know I have said it before, but pregnancy really is a miracle, and I guess people who don't have fertility issues don't see it like that, they seem to just 'decide' to get pregnant and it happens within a few months. I know Patty that a lot of my colleagues, cousins, bro and sis in law, close friends etc are currently trying for their second, and I also know realistically that I'll have a sob in private each time, and I don't think we should be hard on ourselves for that. So I'm sending you lots of hugs, and telling you not to forget that there is hope. You are tr ying again and therefore there is no reason that it can't be your turn next time sweetie, and I'll be dusting my Pom poms off for all of you inthe future.

Night night with love from Josie xxx

josie67 · 02 Oct 2011

Quick message for Sue... 1 more sleep! Yippee! We did well to get through this half term. Oh, and thanks for reassuring me r.e costs. And hope all is more settled in school now. And last thing, have you seen new FS guidance? I'm liking it I think! X