CARE Fertility Bulletin Board

wendymw · 01 Feb 2008

I'm sure there have been lots of posts about this before and I know there are other potty training issues on at the moment, but I'm trying to work out what to do with my boy.

I started potty training with Theo almost 2 weeks ago. First couple of days were understandably pretty wet, but after that he grasped it much better. He's only having about 1 wee accident a day now and is occasionally asking to go to the loo himself (he prefers potty to toilet).

However, I'm not having much success with poo. The first few days I didn't really think about it as I know it can take longer for them to twig about poos. On day 6 he did a poo in the potty for the first time, so there was lots of praise and rewards, but he's not done another since, it's always either in his pants or in his night time nappy (he's nowhere near dry at night, but I'll tackle that later).

On Tuesday however he didn't have a poo at all and I'm concerned he may be starting to hold it in. He's usually pretty regular (2 or 3 poos a day - sorry if TMI!) and eats lots of fruit and veg so has never had a problem going. I'm just worried that he doesn't seem to be able to do it and is holding it in.

Quite often he'll sit on the potty for a while, do a wee, but not a poo, then 2 minutes later once he's off he'll poo in his pants.

Any suggestions? My thought is that he's having to do it in a different position (i.e. sitting as opposed to squatting or standing which is what he usually does) and it's confusing him.

Thanks in advance
Wendy x

maryrose · 04 Apr 2006

Wendy - I recommend patience, patience and yet more patience!

I left Olly until he was 3. We cracked wees in a couple of days and poos in about 10 days. I read Potty Training In 1 week by Gina Ford, disregarded the bits I didn't like and embrced the bits I did.

For Olly, the treats as a reward and the sticker chart worked wonders. I kept having to remind Dh not to reprimand Olly as I too was very worried we would get into a 'holding' it situ.

They do it when they are ready i think. A friend of mine decided to take my lead with her Oli and he was fine with wees, but has only just managed to start pooing in the toilet and he is the same age as my boy.

I do recommend the book. I gave it to Jodie I think. No pressure, lots of patience and lots of rewards.
he is doing well, honey

Lots love Maryrose xxx

maryrose · 04 Apr 2006

PS. Forgot to say - we have had issues since but they are related to the ASC and we have come through those too, with lots of forebearance!

Had a laugh this morning. Olly still has the potty [with lift out bit] in the living room as since the horrible constipation problem, I encourage him to do a poo 1st thing.

LOL, the potty bit was still in the downstairs loo having been cleaned. Olly, being Olly thought it would be fun to poo through the hole where it should have been!!! Poo landed on floor. Thank Gd no carpets!

I had to run out of the room as Dhs reaction made me crack up.

XXX

wendymw · 01 Feb 2008

Thanks Maryrose. I've read the Gina Ford book, although I didn't think it said that much and I've done reward charts, bribes etc. I think he just isn't sure about the feeling of doing a poo yet. I've never reprimanded him for doing a wee or a poo as I know that would be totally counter productive.

Lol at Olly's escapades this morning! I can just imagine him doing it as a joke.

I'll just give it more time. Just as well I bought lots of (cheap) pairs of big boy pants as I often just throw them away when they've got poo in as it can be a bit messy.

Thanks
Wendy x

Briony · 06 Apr 2001

I think the short answer Wendy is that it just takes time for them to put two and two together to link the feeling/sensation with 'letting go' which is really, really common. H used to ask for a nappy (as you prob remember) which I was happy to go along with - and trusted that when she was ready she'd use the loo/potty. And she does now - but when you're in the middle of it, it feels like they're never going to 'get' it - but they all do, eventually! We talked a lot about where poo should go (there is a leaflet book available called Poo goes to pooland which helped), when she wanted a nappy I strongly suggested she should use the bathroom as that was where poo went to make an association and I used full on reward of haribo, which I'd never usually allow, because she spotted them in the shop and I thought they would be motivating enough. The first couple of times she found it difficult to go in the right place, but did with the praise, support and reward and now uses the loo without a problem.

Big hugs and sending some patience, it can be hard.

Love Briony

wendymw · 01 Feb 2008

Thanks Briony, I think you're right, Theo has asked for a nappy a couple of times, I think that must be it. I think it's just patience as you say. Luckily the childminders aren't squeemish!

I honestly don't mind the poo, I just want him to get uncomfrotable with it and start holding it in and making himself poorly.

Thanks ladies
Wendy x

Squeeza · 23 May 2007

Hi Wendy!

Have nt been on much lately - so firstly just wanted to say how sorry I am for the cr*p that you have had to deal with lately Sad

Ned was dry in the day from just over two and is just dry at night - however we had a dreadful time with poos - he literally only ever managed one on the potty and end up very very constipated with impacted poos and leakage that became v smelly bless his cottons. He just COULD NOT go on the loo or potty ! He used to wait until he had his pull up on , hide on my wardrobe and then go standing up. We tried everything, and I had lots of fab advice from the ladies on here ( thank you Maryrose ) We pretty much ignored the issue and gradually the constipation stopped and he became more regular, and just for the last month decided by himself that he would go, very quietly and have a poo in the loo or potty. He likes to be by himself but us otherwise fine! (phew !)

I have no idea why it clicked but it just did.

Hetiie on the other hand at 2 and 2 days too, her nappy off, said "mummy I need a wee wee " sat herself down on the potty and has been dry and clean ever since. Shocked

Boys eh?

Very relieved about Ned as he starts full time school in 4 and a half months.

Good luck!

Squeeza x

wendymw · 01 Feb 2008

Squeeza, thanks for popping by and thank you, yes it has been a pretty rubbish time the last month or so. March will go down as possibly one of the worst months of my life, but I think I'm getting my head more straight and am trying to be more positive about a lot of aspects of my life (getting the house sorted, being more positive about work etc), so am not feeling too bad at the moment. I'm even trying to lose weight again which is a step forwards as I always have to be in the right frame of mind to do that.

Anyway, thank you for your info on poos. It just goes to show that every child is different and I think boys can be a bit lazy. I had a chat with the childminders yesterday and she said she'd been sitting with Theo whilst he was on the potty, but thought that that may be inhibiting him and would try and leave him to it and also think about putting potties out downstairs rather than just in the toilet so it's a more open thing, if that makes sense. The thing is Theo often seems to know when he's going to do a poo (he'll say stinky poo poo which is our phrase for it and sit on the potty, but won't often do it until after he's off the potty again).

I think I'm going to up the praise and rewards. He really wants to be out of nappies at night too (he doesn't like putting it on at bedtime), so I've told him that when he's a really big boy and does all his wees and poos on the potty, then he can lose his night time nappy. I don't think that will happen quickly as he's out like a light at night and I don't think he'd wake up to wee, so we'll see.

I'm glad that Ned has twigged and that it's now working for you. Am I right in thinking that Ned will be one of the younger ones at school or am I completely wrong? I think that probably makes a difference as well.

Anyway, thank you and well done to Hettie for just doing it. I think girls can be easier as my sisters seemed to have an easier time of it with their girls (well except one niece who is often too busy to go to the loo and at almost 6 still has the occasional wee accident).

Wendy x

CarolineB · 13 Oct 2008

I'm reading with interest as as you know Wendy, not having much success with Imogen! Think she hasn't mastered the sensations yet.

wendymw · 01 Feb 2008

Hi ladies an update - we had a mini break through yesterday. Not only did Theo not have any wee accidents, he also did a poo on the potty at the childminders! So he came home in the same knickers and trousers. He told childminder he needed a wee about 2 minutes after he'd been for one and she said he did a tiny bit of poo (sorry if TMI!) so she said why don't we do a poo on the potty and he did! He's also started asking them to go for a wee too, so I think he's finally getting there.

Caroline, I think they sometimes get too busy. My niece was a nightmare - at nearly 6 she still has the odd wee accident because she just gets too busy to go.

Have you put Imogen back in pull ups or a nappy? Theo really wants to get rid of his nappy at night and in bed last night he'd just got in (and I think was trying to delay actually going to sleep) and said he'd done a wee in his nappy so wanted to get up and do a wee on the potty. It must be difficult with 2 of them, but have you tried really praising Megan and making a big fuss of her when she goes to the potty/loo so that Imogen knows it's something she could be doing to get the same praise? I'm not adverse to chocolate or sweets bribery/treats either!

Wendy x