CARE Fertility Bulletin Board

Tracey A · 04 Nov 2010

Happy to chat about it treacle, sharing thoughts might help you. So many ladies helped me when i posted last year. Whenever you are ready.....

Take care all
Tracey x

Springer · 16 Mar 2011

Hi ladies, had our scan yesterday and all went well Smile

Love to you all
Xxx

Tracey A · 04 Nov 2010

Really pleased Springer. Look after yourself.
Tracey x

warla* · 18 Oct 2011

Hi All

Really pleased everything ok Springer, must be a relief to have scan out the way.

I've another two weeks of driving myself stupid over every twinge. Still dont quite believe its real, though I have refrained from doing any more tests. Thought 4 was perhaps enough. Have got no symptoms whatsoever still which is bugging me as well, but just got to accept that what is meant to be will be.

Finally got out of the hospital yesterday, so hoping to settle back into some kind of routine soon. Exam time again in 7 weeks so got to get my finger out and start doing some work for that, not that I have much concentration at the minute.

Hope you are all well. Hope you are feeling better Treacle.

xxx

TJ2011 · 31 Aug 2011

Really good news Springer - know its easy to say but try to relax a bit now if you can and enjoy being a pregnant lady!!
Your scan will be here soon enough with your daughter keeping you so busy Warla! Chuffed she's home and hope life gets back to normal soon
How you feeling Belster?
Tracey - am processing and getting my head around things I think, despite how sad I feel still, DE is definitely next step so will email u soon, u may wish you never offered!!
Things getting there with us, life has to go on doesn't it?! I've just had 2 good days training some great people and feel buy more sane for it. Had a tough evening last night - I hadnt really said because tried to forget about it but we had 1 inconclusive embryo that team were able to re-biopsy. We knew result would take a while and it came back yesterday, positive for translocation. Thought I'd prepped myself for it but think was still part of me that prayed for another miracle. Then, after some tears, logged into Facebook and my best friend had contacted me from LA to tell me she's 3 months pregnant with her 2nd and wanted me to have time to get used to it before she moves back here next month. Not sure whet more upset about - that I'll be envious of her for having what I want, or that she was so worried about having to tell me when we've been friends for 26 years!!
This whole thing is so hard!
Next steps for us, booking a deserved holiday at travel agents on Saturday then review on Monday - then one mighty big breath and time to say 'what next?!'
Hugs to you all, stay sane Warla!!
Xxxx

Tracey A · 04 Nov 2010

Oh treacle that is tough but in some ways helps with your decision perhaps. Did u have to have the embryo frozen? We had an inconclusive too but it stopped developing. Such a hard joyrney this ivf malarky! If you are anything like me you wont get your head fully around DE but may come to a resigned acceptance - thats where i am and trying to be positive. Started drugs again and hate putting my body through this again (immunes make it tough for me and i am getting fatter and fatter last few years) but i just hope this time it will work for us. I need to get on with my life one way or another! Hope the review goes ok - let me know how you get on.

Everyone - have a good weekend. I spent yesterday potting up about 100 seedlings in my greenhouse. I always go mad for growing things this time of year.
Take care
Tracey x

TJ2011 · 31 Aug 2011

Hi ladies

We had our review today - everything as expected, PGD no longer an option for us. Interestingly, Maha was ecpecting me to go in and tell her we wanted to go again and was all ready for the reasons not to and was surprised that I already knew that. ALthough its only been 2 weeks, she'd really prepared me for that in December we were talked about the 1st cycle and was very sweet telling me how calm and practical I'd been researching our options and getting my head around things, of course I'm not over my eggs being useless, not sure I ever will be, but my way of dealing with things that go wrong is to put them right and look for next steps. And I'm so focused on a sibling for my son that I've already had to accept my eggs can't do that for me me now, as gutted as I am.

She spent some time talking to us about egg donation and answering some of my questions and it looks as if we'll transfer to Northampton Care - apparently their wait list is the shortest in the group and my husband started a new job 3 weeks ago, 20 minutes outside of Northampton. From our home, its the same distance as Nottingham so it makes sense. I have to say, I felt almost guilty because I've found the Notts team so good and feel comfy there now but it makes much more sense to move closer to hubby's work as they wont be as accommodating as the RAF were to his time off. Maha has advised we book the implications counselling before we go onto the waiting list, is this the way you did it Tracey?

Anyway, lots of homework still to do - my acupuncturist is adamant I should research seriously into doing it abroad but I'm nervous about that for lots of reason so need to get googling and finding out what I can in due course. Did you ever look at this Tracey?

Springer and Warla - how you feeling? Getting used to the idea of Mummydom and letting it all sink in? Hope you're both taking time out when you can to look after yourselves and your precious cargo.

Belster - howz things with you? Any idea of what to do next? Good luck for your review on Wed x

Tracey - hope your cycle is going well? Will be in touch soon, just got a few crazy days as work to contend with 1st!

Hols didn't get booked because the ones we found were so expensive - but not given up on that either, I'm a stubborn old bird!!!

xxxx

Tracey A · 04 Nov 2010

Hi Treacle

Glad you were prepared for your review and it sounds like you have got some key things sorted in your head. No suprises from Maha then, as expected but hard for you to hear never the less, as it was for us. For me, not being able to have a child has raised all sorts of issues around being feminine - some of which I think I'll never resolve but I have to accept thats the way it is and that's kindof where I am and where I think, as a woman, I will stay....

It's amazing the waiting list for DE is so short - when we went on the list (which we did before counselling) it was 12 - 14 months wait. That was the main reason we put our names down before we had even decided to go down this route and before the PGD cycle - it gave us another option to consider and it was around a year that we had to wait. If you do go down that route then at least you wont have to wait long though please dont rush your decision - you need time to process everything you have been through. I am like you though - I have to research, work out what next and work towards it.

Both clinics have been great, in my experience, but I guess Northampton gives that little bit of extra personalness (is that even a word Wink

) because the team are smaller and the donor team are brilliant.

The implications counselling gives you things to think about and to make sure you and hubby are both feeling the same. My other half and I had differing views about some issues and it was good to have a place to talk these out and to get everything straight in our heads. It also made me consider some things that I had not considered so maybe you should book this very soon to give you more pointers for your research.

Interestingly, my acupuuncturist (who I don't see anymore - just too expensive and wasn't convinced it helped much, though when I lost my mum 3 years ago, really helped with the grieveing process) also said to consider abroad. I think it's because it cheaper and the women quite often younger and not necessarily going through IVF (which indicates they have some issues or other I guess). I would have perhaps looked at this but my partner would only consider UK so that was that!

As for my cycle, well it's ok so far thanks but early days in this lengthy process. I have been having lots of back ache and not sure if its the drugs but just trying to go with the flow. I was so pleased to see the sun today and get out in the garden - going a bit mad being at home but glad I didnt take that job still.

Well, enough rambling from me for one evening - I look forward to getting your email when ever you have time...

Hi to Warla and Springer. Hope you guys are well

Belster, hope your review goes well.

Traceyxx

belster · 13 Aug 2010

Hi ladies

Quick one as today has been awful and really need a rest - our daughter has a sickness bug and it has been full on looking after her and clearing up all day - to add insult to injury our dog just threw up on the carpet too, so maybe she has caught it as well!!!

Treacle - really sorry I won't see you tomorrow but sounds like you have made some progress since I was last on here. The only thing I know about DE is that the odds are very good and that
my friend who went for it now has a beautiful boy and a girl as a result. All the best with getting your head round it, which I can fully understand is hard - I'm trying to accept it too as it's very likely it will be our best shot at a sibling for our little girl.

Because of DD's illness I think I might ask if I can have the review tomorrow over the phone - will see what they say. Thanks all for thinking of me - will try and get on here again to see how you're all doing.

In the meantime, brilliant news Springer fingers crossed it all goes very smoothly for you now, and equally brilliant news Warla - good luck to you.

Speak soon everyone..
B XXX

TJ2011 · 31 Aug 2011

Morning everyone,

Belster - sorry your little lady has been poorly, I've been so lucky with my son (touching wood as I type!) that he's hardly ever had sickness bugs, just heaps of colds and coughs. We had one projectile vomit scenario when he was a baby, covering our entire bedroom and that will stay with me forever! I'm not good with icky stuff so chuffed he's been so well - so far! Is she and your pooch better now? What dog do you have? We have a golden retriever, I've had him since I was single, and he was a puppy, and he's 8.5 now, gorgeous and my 2nd child!! Good luck for your review today - dont resign to DE yet if you don't have to, you have age on your side, and a little girl from PGD, a success story just a couple of years ago so maybe this one for you was just bad luck? Hope you get some answers and ideas and a way forward today, let us know how it goes

Tracey - thanks for your words again, I really appreciate your point of view as I see you a few months ahead of us in this crazy journey (sorry for corny word but it just fits sometimes!!). I don't know what else I expected from the review I suppose but was at least prepared and proud of myself that I didn't cry - until I got in the car anyway! Its good that you've had experience of both clinics, are you allowed to say where you are now? I'm going to ring Northampton later today to try and book the counselling session and at least, as you've said, start the dialogue.

I dread to think how much I've spent on acupuncture in my last cycle - I started seeing her once a week in early January and once scan said we were ready for stims, it went to every day for 2 weeks and she charged me every other appointment - thats a lot of Â£40 sessions and I darent ever add it up, we could have probably paid a quarter of our DE cycle with that! But I had to try it with nothing to lose other than hard earned pennies - I knew I had to throw everything at the last one so I didn't come out the other end and try and blame myself for the failure, certainly haven't done that this time.

Will let you know when we have some progress with Northampton and will do some research in due course. Tracey - did you find any websites or books useful for DE info? I've got some sites to try when I get round to it....

Love to you all, catch up soon

xxxx

Tracey A · 04 Nov 2010

Hi Treacle

I am at the same clinic as you. The team there are lovely so get a meeting booked and see how you feel. I know what you mean about the acupuncture. Mine was Â£40 a go too and once a week and it all adds up. I did feel better when I first had it but as time went on I wasnt sure it was helping. Ironic that it turned out that the quality of my eggs that was the culprit - no amout of acupuncture would have helped. Now, I just can't afford to do it again but have to have faith in my body to be able to carry a child....struggling with that given I am on immune cycle.

In terms of books etc I posted a bit on the bulletin boards and watched some videos on you tube. I have just ordered a book called "Having your baby through an egg donor". With all this time I have I thought it would be good to read up some more. I have also been reading a bit about empigenetics online (how the uterus environment affects the turning on of genes in a bay - fascinating stuff). To be honest I will read alot more (probably buy all the book I can) if I get pregnant.

Well, have a good weekend break

Hope all you other ladies are doing ok
Tracey x

warla* · 18 Oct 2011

Hi All

Sorry not been around for a while, just trying to get through to next Thursday without going insane. Had a couple of meltdowns this week but seem to be coping today! Never had any of this doubt with my daughter and just accepted I was pregnant and got on with it. This time I just keep expecting it all to go wrong any minute. I know I need to get over myself and be happy that the cycle worked but I just cant relax about it. Anyways enough maoning from me..

Glad your review went as well as could be expected Treacle, you seem to be on the ball as to where the path takes you next, and I hope that it all works out for you. And you Tracey, you both deserve for things to take a positive turn. Its nice that you have each other to go through this with and have that support.
Hope review goes ok Belster
xxx

warla* · 18 Oct 2011

Scan didnt go well, just a big sack of nothingness growing. Got to go back in another week to confirm then off to the EPU for them to do whatever they need to do. Absolutely gutted........

TJ2011 · 31 Aug 2011

Oh Warla, I'm so so sorry lovey, of course you're gutted, you're not going to feel any different, it's so cruel that you had hope and I don't know what to say.
My thoughts are with you and I'm sending lots of hugs through this email, I just wish I could do more.
Look after yourself lovey and shout if you want to talk about anything
Love me
Xxxxxx

Tracey A · 04 Nov 2010

Oh Warla i am so very sorry you are going through this. Sometimes it just feels as if the world is against you.I so wish things were different... Sending you a big hug and will be thinking about you. Look after and be kind to yourself. Tracey x

Springer · 16 Mar 2011

Really sorry to hear that Warla. Sending loads of hugs xxx

warla* · 18 Oct 2011

Thanks Ladies. Im doing ok, not letting myself dwell on it and getting on with everything else. The cruel bit is having to wait till this Friday, go through it all again before getting to see the local EPAU, dont imagine anything will then be done till early next week, would much rather it was all over and done with so that this chapter can be closed off.
Hope everyone else is well x x x

Tracey A · 04 Nov 2010

Hi everyone

How are we all doing?

Warla, have been thinking of you. I hope you are doing ok and I wish you strength for Friday and next week

Treacle - hows things?

AFM, DE cycle progressing but quite slowly so just trying to keep busy. Take care all. Tx

cfb107 · 15 May 2012

Hi ladies just wanted to say hello!!

I am 26 (27 in july) with a balanced translocation. We have funding but not sure how much - as we live in East Mids we possibly qualify for the unlimited cycles for one preggo as we haven't tried for a baby naturally (I've known about the translocation almost all my life, massive downer if I'm honest) but as I also have PCOS (normal BMI, periods every couple of months) am trying not to get my hopes up. It's hard not to though. I did have an accidental pregnancy at 22 and miscarried very early - we only forgot to use a condom once so hopefully that shows I am fertile!!!

We have our initial appointment at Care Nott on June 21st - feels like such a long way off - when hopefully we will find out more about funding. Does anybody have any tips about funding?

Cycling's a long way off for us yet - I'm hoping as soon as can be!

warla* · 18 Oct 2011

Hi Ladies

Today has left us with more questions than answers unfortunately. Scan showed exactly the same as last week, empty sac with no embryo, but then HCG came back at 20000 ! Got sent to hospital for them to suggest its possible eptopic but noone available to scan today but they did more bloods. Got to go back Monday for scan and more bloods to compare HCG levels. Ive been told to go nil by mouth from midnight so that if eptopic they will 'sort' that afternoon.
Sorry to be brief and abrupt but havent got a better explaination in me tonight Im afraid.
Warla x

TJ2011 · 31 Aug 2011

Blimey lovey u must be so utterly fed up, I can't imagine. I'm surprised they're leaving it all weekend if they think it's ectopic, didn't even think that was a possibility with ivf.
Thinking of you hun, let us know how Monday goes
Xx

warla* · 18 Oct 2011

I am fed up, I thought yesterday would be the end of it all, well the start of the end at least.

Because I'm showing no symptoms, no pain, no bleeding, Im not high risk, been told that if I have any pain or bleeding to go straight down to A&E but otherwise turn up for appointment Monday morning. I just dont understand, why wasnt it picked up on a scan if its elsewhere, surely something must be still around for HCG to be that high? I just dont have any answers and no-one could give me a definitive answer as to whats happening. Care rang this afternoon to see what had happened at the hospital yesterday and Im sorry to say I was probably a bit rude and abrupt with the lady who called, but my patience is fast running out. Its a good job Ive got my little girl to motivate me to do anything otherwise I think I would have hidden in my bed all day feeling sorry for myself.
Sorry for going on but needed a bit of a moan, hubby still at work and not expecting him back for a while yet. Will let you know how we get on Monday, providing I havent completely lost the plot by then!

Tracey A · 04 Nov 2010

Hi warla. You are having a nightmare so moan away. Life just isnt fair is it and sometimes it seems everything is against us. I really hope you get some answers on monday and i hope it isnt too traumatic. Thinking of you. T x

TJ2011 · 31 Aug 2011

This is the place to moan lovey, we will always listen even though we can't make things different.
Stay in touch and shout if want to talk and I will send you my number
T
Xxx

warla* · 18 Oct 2011

Luckily not eptopic, still hurts that it has ended this way but glad at least that its coming to an end and I can start thinking about moving on.
Thanks for thinking of me, all the best to everyone x