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Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 11:22 am |
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I just need to let it all out and try and make some sense of it all.
I was 7 weeks and had some spotting for a few days before my scan,had the scan and all was well,good strong heartbeat and no sign of the bleeding site so the nurse said it all looked positive!
Within 20 mins of the scan my belly started to hurt and got some strong pains and the bleeding doubled,by the next morning I had lost a large clot and two tiny ones and I went to the hospital as Care said they couldnt do anything. Had bloods done and urine and still all was ok,was examined and cervix was closed so doc said again all looked good. Booked me in for emergancy scan monday.
Went we went monday everything was gone, no sign at all. They said they think I lost the baby on sat morning.
I just dont know what to think,we are totally gutted as this was our last try. We just cant afford to try again and my dh says he cant go through it all again.
Why is it so unfair..... |
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| peachy |
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| Joined: 26 Oct 2010 |
| Posts: 769 |
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Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:09 pm |
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| I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain and disbelief you are going through. I know you will hear this a million times but try and take some time to heal physically and emotionally. Things will start to get better even though you will always feel it. Lots of big hugs xx |
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_________________ Me 38, DH 43, 6*Clomid BFN, 3*IUI-1 BFP Jan 10-mc 6wks,3rd IVF Apr11-Identical twin boys!! Both born sleeping at 32 weeks. I miss you so much xx
Surprise natural BFP whilst dr for FET DS Born 7/1/13 |
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Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:06 pm |
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| Thankyou peachy,means a lot. Ive just read your status and Im so sorry hun,I know how much Im hurting so I cant even begin to know how all that happening must feel.xxx |
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| peachy |
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| Joined: 26 Oct 2010 |
| Posts: 769 |
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Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 2:06 pm |
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It does start to get better. I hated people telling me that because I was hurting so much but it does. But just trying to look forward now. I have also had an early mc so know what you are going through.
Thinking of you and dh. Hugs xx |
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_________________ Me 38, DH 43, 6*Clomid BFN, 3*IUI-1 BFP Jan 10-mc 6wks,3rd IVF Apr11-Identical twin boys!! Both born sleeping at 32 weeks. I miss you so much xx
Surprise natural BFP whilst dr for FET DS Born 7/1/13 |
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Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 11:23 pm |
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Oh Jaybee I am sorry to hear this.....time passes and things get slowly better
Peachy how are you???? I have been worrying really as you have been si very quiet....I feel so sad for you....please let me know how you are
xx |
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_________________ Rosemummy
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| Noggin |
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| Joined: 11 Sep 2009 |
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Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 9:03 am |
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Jaybee your right it is unfair to have such happiness snatched away...
Thinking of you and your DH at such a sad time.
Love noggin x |
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_________________ ICSI sep 2009 Joshua still a hairy diddly dot!
FET July 2011 BFN
Jan 2012 BFP MMC 5weeks
Aug 2012 arrayCGH BFP Another hairy boy! Matthew our Star Wars baby...
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 10:39 pm |
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 12:04 am |
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(((hugs))) it is so extremely unfair, as the other ladies have said the rawness does ease, over time.
Go gentle on yourself xx |
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_________________ Please be my turn!! TTC far too long!
Rct M/cs incl. Dyllan @20wks & Nafisa-Angel @16wks. Born with angel wings - Too perfect for this world. |
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Posted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 10:38 am |
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Not a good day today! Got blood results back and they still high so got to have repeat tests in a week and a half. So then heres me thinking well maybe they got the scan wrong,maybe they missed it,maybe it was hiding........ I mean seriously who am I kidding!! Stupid things go through you,re head when I really dont want to face the reality!
Just when I seem to be feeling better this happens and puts me backwards!!
DH is annoying me so much as he really doensnt want to try again and I dont know how I feel if I dont...........
Thanks for all the messages girls,means a lot.xx |
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Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:22 pm |
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| Had been posting on the bumps and babies forum and went to have a look to see how the girls were doing and on the front page it had all our status,due date etc and now mines is Mommy to a angel. I dont want to be ,I just want my bean back, as soon as I think I m ok then Im not! Why is it so hard........... |
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 10:47 pm |
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Jaybee
Im sorry for your loss. I lost at around the same stage as you in October. Its soo soo hard to to deal with isnt it?
I would suggest speaking to the counsellor is you feel you can as talking things through really helps.
I wouldve been 28 weeks now and find it hard seeing the posts from the ladies i cycled with. Its a normal feeling tho to feel how you do, it'll take time to heal!
Soo sorry your dh doesnt want to try agsin. I hope you can sort things out and can see a way forward eventually.
Xx |
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:39 pm |
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| Thanks f and t. It is so hard,much harder than I imagened to be honest! How are you doing with all of it? Are you trying again? I think DH will want to maybe try again just not yet and Im just aware of our ages,Im 40 and hes 44 so i dont want to leave it too long. Im already worried that im already to old for my eggs to be ok. xx |
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| ladydi |
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| Joined: 27 Oct 2009 |
| Posts: 261 |
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 10:01 am |
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| Iam trying to keep my hopes up after they told me i miscaried 2 weeks ago, we have decided to try again as we have an appointment with dr shaker on the 16th april, The thing is i thought i would do a clearblue pregnancy test and it indicates 2-3 weeks ,can anyone tell me is this because the hcg hormone keeps in your system, or should it have gone right down to nothing?. |
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_________________ 1-ivf with own eggs ,bfn
2-first frozen cycle with own eggs ,bfn
3- second frozen cycle own eggs, bfn
4-de frozen abandoned
5-de frozen bfn
6-de frozen bfp m/c at 6 weeks
7-de eggs frozen for one week bfn
8 ? |
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 9:15 pm |
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Hi di
Sorry to hear your news also!
I would love to tell you too keep up the faith but I think by now the test should say 3 week + so I would imagine it is the hcg still in your system
Have you miscarried yet or started to bleed? |
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| ladydi |
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| Joined: 27 Oct 2009 |
| Posts: 261 |
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 8:43 am |
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can anyone tell me after my miscarraige 3 weeks ago i keep bleeding a little then ill stop a day then bleed a little again, how long does this go on for till you have a normal period ? were trying again thats if they manage to get the DE before may 2013 as i am 50.
Ive just had a weeks holiday in gran canaria, i tryd to keep happy but its hard especially when you seem to see babys and pregnant ladys all over .and i think to myself how lucky there are.
jaybee how are you doing? .  |
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_________________ 1-ivf with own eggs ,bfn
2-first frozen cycle with own eggs ,bfn
3- second frozen cycle own eggs, bfn
4-de frozen abandoned
5-de frozen bfn
6-de frozen bfp m/c at 6 weeks
7-de eggs frozen for one week bfn
8 ? |
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 2:32 pm |
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| Im getting there lay di,how are you today? There does seem to be a huge amount of pregnant ladies at the min but maybe its because it summer weather and people have less clothes on........... guess thats why u noticed so many on hols. I think the same as you how lucky they are..I wonder if they realise! I saw a pregnant girl yesterday who looked about 14 smoking and swearing her head off and it really made me feel sad! Such a precious gift she has yet doesnt even seem to care! But then told myself off as u shouldnt judge people! |
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| ladydi |
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| Joined: 27 Oct 2009 |
| Posts: 261 |
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 5:17 pm |
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jaybee i feel and think entirely the same as you, i dont know about you but i dont say alot to my other half but i cant stop thinking how excited i would have been and the time i was pregnant, especially when i just close my eyes, sorry i dont think iam helping to make you feel any happier.
Jaybee did you say earlier youve got a follow up appointment? I have on the 16th april, i cant wait. i just want everything to happen again really fast, iam trying to save up every little penny ive got. iam just hopeing it doesnt go up again as it did when we paid in febuary. Please let me know how youre getting on and if youve decided to go again as i feel like ive broken away from all the other ladys who are pregnant, have you heard from saw? lv dix |
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_________________ 1-ivf with own eggs ,bfn
2-first frozen cycle with own eggs ,bfn
3- second frozen cycle own eggs, bfn
4-de frozen abandoned
5-de frozen bfn
6-de frozen bfp m/c at 6 weeks
7-de eggs frozen for one week bfn
8 ? |
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:54 pm |
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Hiya lady di,so sorry for such a late reply but havent been on for ages. Hope you,re doing ok huni. I havent heard from Saw,hope shes ok too.
Have u had you,re follow up? whats the verdict to what happens next? |
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| ladydi |
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| Joined: 27 Oct 2009 |
| Posts: 261 |
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Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 10:11 pm |
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HI JABEE IAM SO PLEASED TO HEAR FROM YOU. YEAH IVE HAD MY FOLLOW UP APP. AND IAM ON THE WAITING LIST AGAIN JUST WAITING FOR THAT ALL INPORTANT PHONE CALL. I JUST HOPE THAT ITS NOT TOO LONG AS I ONLY HAVE A YEAR LEFT AS I HAVE JUST TURNED 49.
ANYWAY HOW ARE YOU DOING?. HAVE YOU DECIDED GOING AGAIN OR NOT? SORRY TO ASK SO MANY QUESTIONS ITS BECAUSE I HAVENT BEEN IN TOUCH FOR A WHILE. LV DIX |
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_________________ 1-ivf with own eggs ,bfn
2-first frozen cycle with own eggs ,bfn
3- second frozen cycle own eggs, bfn
4-de frozen abandoned
5-de frozen bfn
6-de frozen bfp m/c at 6 weeks
7-de eggs frozen for one week bfn
8 ? |
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 8:48 pm |
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Hi Ladydi, to be honest Im not sure what we are doing. We talked through a lot of options but it all boils down to money and the fact can we really go through all that again. if it was a certainty it wud work then we would go for it but I just dont know.
have u had that phone call yet???? |
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| Melski |
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| Joined: 07 Jan 2011 |
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 11:35 am |
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| Jaybee, just saw your name and wanted to say hi and all the best for whatever you decide to do. Miss all my old cycle buddies as we're about to start again next week and can't bring myself to join another thread! xxx |
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_________________ TTC over 3 years
6 x months Clomid
3 x IUI BFN (2 Menopur, 1 Clomid)
1st ICSI Sept 2011 - BFP from Grade 1 embie. MC 5.5 wks
FET - BFN
2nd ICSI July 2012 - BFP from 2 blasts transferred. Scan 28/8 - 1 lovely h/b, EDD 19/4. |
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 10:32 pm |
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| Hey Melski,sorry for such a late reply,hope you are ok hun.xxx |
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Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:07 pm |
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Havent posted on here for ages,in fact havent looked on the forums for ages either. Still not doing to well and still finding it really hard with no one to talk too. My due date was two weeks ago and I kinda thought that once that had passed things would get better and I would feel like I could put it behind me and move on but its just not happening.
My other half,s daughter has found out she is pregnant and had her first scan on my due date so she was all excited and wanted to tell me all about it and I couldnt even talk to her. I feel like life is so unfair. She wasnt even trying,is only 18 and neither her or her partner have jobs,a stable home and a good enviroment for a child and as mean as it makes me sound I just think why her!
My partner doesnt want to talk about what happend to us now,as far as he,s concerned its all done with. He just keeps going on about his grandchild to be and keeps saying to me to ring his daughter to discuss prams etc.
I feel like Im being selfish but I cant face talkin to her. I dont want to talk to her about plans for a baby that should have been me. She knows nothing about the IVF so I suppose she must think its weird but I just cant face it. |
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 4:54 pm |
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Jaybee - I couldn't read & run. We haven't spoken before. Life can seem very unfair & it's completely understandable that you don't want to talk to your partners daughter. Do try to talk with your partner & let him know how you are feeling, hopefully he will be understanding & supportive of how you feel. It's not going to help keeping all of your feelings bottled up, especially as her pregnancy is not going to go away.
Hopefully in time you may be able to tell your partners daughter why you are finding it difficult to talk with her. She is bound to find it weird.
I hope you can face it all in your own time.
BIG CYBER HUGS x
Nicky x |
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:15 pm |
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Thanks so much for you,re kind words Nicky. I have tried to talk to my partner and explain but I think he feels that this is her time now and its unfair of me to be upset when I should be pleased for her like he is.
I think if there was another chance for us to do the IVF again then I wouldnt feel so cheated,yet there isnt so it really is the end of the road for us.
I will never be able to tell her about what happened,its hard to explain but it just wouldnt work. I wouldnt want her telling everyone else and she would. And I wouldnt want her Mother gloating as shes just had a baby herself and she would take great joy in the fact this happened to us. ( not a very nice women! )
I guess it time it will be ok,guna have to be really. xxx |
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