CARE Fertility Bulletin Board

Tracey A · 04 Nov 2010

Hi Warla

I am glad it wasnt an ectopic (more to deal with at this difficult time) and you can try and move forward now. IVF is so hard isnt it, especially when you build your hopes up after PGD. I found the whole process quite devastating but I do feel we have done everything we can, which in the end helps, despite the trauma. Now in the middle of a DE cycle I am trying not to get my hopes up but we just do don't we...

Look after yourself and I wish you all the best for the future.
Traceyx

TJ2011 · 31 Aug 2011

Bless you Warla, it is at least good news that its not going to make you poorly on top of everything else. Are they going to have to take you into hospital or should things just get better on their own?
Big hugs xx

warla* · 18 Oct 2011

Not going into hospital, was given my options and decided to let nature do what it needed to.

Good luck with the donor cycle Tracey, I know what you mean, you tell yourself not to get over excited about things but its bloody hard not to, I think its about time I had some luck, and things cant possibly go wrong again..... and then they do! Hubby is already on about trying again next year, but for me its too soon to comtemplate anything else now. Im thinking as far as a week away next month and thats as far as I can plan at the moment.

Tracey A · 04 Nov 2010

Hi Warla

Not suprised you feel like that at all. I think its a bit different for men as its not their bodies this is happening to and as supportive as they may be, I think the experience is different. Give yourself a bit of time to do other things, plan social stuff, see friends and family and contemplate "what next" when you are a bit stronger. I planned a trip to NZ and it took me months and got me really involved with something outside the IVF world. So glad we went too. For me it took awhile to get to a better place but I feel in a stronger place for this cycle now, even though I am fed up with the whole thing and eating for England!!!! Crossing everything that this DE cycle works for us and that you feel better soon.

Take care
Tx

TJ2011 · 31 Aug 2011

Hello strangers!

How is everyone? I know its been ages and I'm sure, like me, you've all had to get back into the day to day stuff and move on - but I'd still like to know how you're all doing so pop a post on here if you get a chance, would love to hear from you...

Busy busy my end, just had lovely 2 weeks off, few days in Spain then a long weekend with friends at Center Parcs and was great, still sulking at being back at work even though its my last day this week!! We're getting on with things, work is manic for me and hubby and we're busy at weekends with lots going on, not a bad thing to keep us occupied! We're definetely going to try giving DE a go, we've got our 1st appointments with Northampton on 16th and 20th July, feels like ages away yet but sure will come around soon.Lots to get head around still but we had money in the bank for our 1st PGD cycle, expecting to pay, so when we were given funding, we hung on to it and I need to use it just to try this once and see what happens. We're lucky to be able to try so we'll just have to see how it goes.

Hope to hear from you all

xxxx

warla* · 18 Oct 2011

Hi
Lovely to hear from you. Busy my end too, off to Germany today with work for the weekend, not looking forward to leaving my little girl for the weekend but it will go quick enough.
As for other things, no plans to do anything baby related for the forseeable, if ever really. Im still dealing with the miscarriage on a factual rather than emotional basis, but Im sure it will knock me for six at some point, but for now, Im doing ok.
Better dash, leaving for airport in 30 mins at got loads to try and get through.
Love to all

Warla

TJ2011 · 31 Aug 2011

Hi Warla

Thanks for replying, hope your trip to Germany was OK and you managed to have some play as well as work? Think thats what we all need at the moment and I'm certainly doing my best!

Miscarriage knocks you for 6 at the best of times, without it happening in the way it did for you Warla, there are no text books, you just have to cope with it as your heart and head wants you to, more than anything it takes time and good family and friends.

I'm on a bit of a downer at the moment, a few close friends are heavily pregnant with their 2nd and 3rd children and its so hard to be happy for them all the time - of course I am, but it always comes with that little green monster that I try to hide inside that they have something I want so much.

I'm under no false illusions of the future - I know my eggs won't make me any more miracles and there are no guarantees with someone elses eggs so even when we start the process, its going to be months before we get anywhere and I imagine when it eventually does, it will probably feel even harder than PGD because I have even less control than before! But what will be will be, there is enough money in the pot to give it a go and thats what we've decided to do - meantime, I'm trying to focus on fun - for the whole family and doing my best to just appreciate what I have already, thats all we can do isn't it?!

Big hugs, stay in touch

xx

CKJ · 15 Feb 2012

Hi Treacle

We were on a same thread a while back and just wanted to wish you luck with your next try.

Hope your appointment was productive today.

CKJ xx

TJ2011 · 31 Aug 2011

Hey CKJ!

Thanks for the post, thats so lovely that you thought to email today, thank you so much!!

The appointment was OK thanks, was just with the Donation Co-ordinator today and by the end, we were Â£450 lighter and are now offically on the register, argh!!! Next appointments are on Friday and after that, I guess it wont really feel real until we get the call that we have a possible match, scary and exciting all over again!

Hows things with you?

T
xxxx

Yellow38 · 03 Apr 2011

Hi Treacle,

Just spotted this thread and saw you have been to N'ton today for DE discussion...I am just interested in how you got on and what they said about waiting lists and matching process etc?? Quick potted history for me (mostly in my signature anyway), but have just had aCGH and no success and feel donor might now be the only viable route for us and so we are booked in on 22nd Aug to see coordinator and couselling. Obviously whole situ is very upsetting, but I am trying to be pragmatic and feel that if I were to have another go at CGH it would just be a waste of time and money.

Anyway, be good to hear from you on your experience.

Thanks
Yellow x

CKJ · 15 Feb 2012

Woohoo to being on the register Smile

Glad today went well and you are on your way. Will keep all crossed that you are matched soon xx

If ok with you will be keeping an eye on you to see how you getting on xx

TJ2011 · 31 Aug 2011

Hi Yellow,

I'm so sorry you've had such a tough time bless you. Yes, 1st appt today, just the Nurse - it was good, no revelations as I'd been watching the DE board on here and reading up doing my homework, she just filled some gaps and answered some questions I had, she took our blood results that had been requested and talked through the process and costs - ouch!!!

I'd read on here a couple of weeks ago that Northampton and Nottingham were quoting 2 months wait but Lorraine said today its 3-4 months - feels like forever away but sure it will pass eventually! We have the Consultant and Counselling on Friday, these appointments were booked about 7 weeks ago so its taken a while as it will for you.

I had my 2 PGD cycles at Notts as they had the great reputation and I am pleased we had that there - but with DE, I'd heard so many great things about their donation team, I wanted to transfer. My DH has also just started a new career at an aerodrome near Northampton so it makes sense - initial feeling today was good, very different building, much smaller team but kind of liked that, sounds like the team do an enormous amount to get donors and I was really pleasantly suprised that they have more altruistic donors than egg sharers, balance about 70:30, I thought it would be the other way around.

It is upsetting lovely, I still haven't gotten over what I perceive to be my body breaking and letting me down. We could have paid for more PGD but we made 17 embryos in 2 cycles and not a single one viable so clearly something with me is very wrong and the only way i can move on is to borrow the bits I don't have from someone else and try again - and slowly but surely, its sinking in and Im ok about it. The analogy I've repeated from a lovely lady on the DE board is to see the donated egg as a ball of wool - the pattern you create with that wool is entirely down to you!

Keep in touch

xxx

Yellow38 · 03 Apr 2011

Thanks Treacle - I know what you mean about body not really working for you, sort of makes you feel a failure doesn't it...funny you quoting that wool story as well - I had read that previously and have already found myself quoting it to DH!!

I have had two previous tx's at Northampton before, and only transferred to Notts because of the CGH. Like you I think, I live part way between the two, but work in Coventry so given N'ton has the shorter waiting it seems to make sense to go back there.

Re the blood tests - where they just regular ones HIV etc or do you have to have any other ones? Just thinking as I ought to call back and book that in really at the same time if I need to have more otherwise it's a bit of a journey to keep going back and forth. Also, would you share what they have said about costs - I have looked at the quoted costs in the price list, but was unsure what might be required by way of drug costs??

Be great to hear how you get on on Friday - good luck with it.

Yellow x

CKJ · 15 Feb 2012

Hi Treacle

How did you get on with your appointment today?

xx

TJ2011 · 31 Aug 2011

Hi Yellow and CKJ

Sorry for not getting back to you both sooner, I've been working away lots and often don't have email access, I'm working from for 1st time in ages today (umm, this isn't work but more interesting!) and can't get internet access from my log in on my home computer, blooming technology!

Our Friday appointments last week were good - again, no real revelations, the Consultant really reiterated what Lorraine had told us on the Monday but used more techie language! We talked in more detail about the process and had some debate around IVF or ICSI and would we want one or two embryos put back - they were really interesting questions that we hadn't really considered much til that point. I think we'll go with ICSI - hubbys count is OK but fertilisation rates are better with ICSI, just shocked its another 1k on top of the other mounting costs! Regards one or two embryos and when to have them transferred, I told the Consultant that we'd be guided by them if we're lucky enough to get to that point - I guess I'm too scared to even think of that at the moment as with both our PGD cycles, we never got that far and I feel like getting to that stage is just a dream at the moment - I know its more likely with someone elses eggs but I'm protecting myself I guess and being a bit superstitious not wanting to tempt fate! They're the experts so if we're lucky enough to have good enough embryos to make that choice, I'll let them help us make it at the time.

We saw the Counsellor after the Consultant and that appointment was a bit odd if I'm honest - me and my hubby are very pragmatic people and he doesn't do the whole 'tea and sympathy' type approach and found her quite difficult to open up to. I think she was quite surprised that we were as level-headed as we were with whats gone wrong over the last year but we weren't hiding anything, we have just had to accept we are where we are, we've talked a lot and been really honest with each other and its enabled us to move forwards with DE even though I'm gutted, and probably always will be, that my eggs can't give me what I want anymore. She talked a lot about how we'll tell our child where they came from and again, I found it difficult to dream of it working at this stage and thinking of that - we'd already decided we definetely wanted to be honest and tell a child if we're blessed with one but the Counsellor was telling us we need to be telling them from the day we take them home from the hospital?! Struggling a bit with that but my mind is open!!

So its just hte waiting game now - just trying to plan nice things and get on with life hoping that it soon comes around because I just want to get started now!

Hope to hear from you again soon

T
xxx
So its just the waiting game now

CKJ · 15 Feb 2012

Hey Treacle

Sounding like all is going as it should be so pleased for you from that point of view. Understand your reasons for being cautious and think you def have the right frame of mind and seem to have come a long way hun xx A young child will find it harder to understand I think but you could always say that they are special and why and when they start understanding you could take it from there? Saying that, I think you will know what's right for you and the child and when the right time to tell them is so don't let anyone influence what you may already have decided.

Hope you get lots of lovely things planned and you get to start soon. Are you watching the Olympics? xxx

Yellow38 · 03 Apr 2011

Thanks Treacle - that's a useful heads up I think for my forthcoming appointments...Just one question, any ideas on costs of drugs - I can see the cycle costs in the info they have sent, but I am a bit unclear about the amount of drugs required - I am hoping the costs will be less than a normal cycle??

Thanks
Yellow

warla* · 18 Oct 2011

Hi All

Finally got round to having review yesterday, didnt feel any rush to have appointment so kept leaving it till now.
Decided we would apply for funding again, although been told not to get our hopes up, but if you dont ask you dont get......
So didnt really discuss last cycle other than IF we go again, they would increase stims again, in an attempt to get an avalanche of eggs to freeze for subsequent attempts.
Not sure Im ready to think about 'Again' just yet. I guess my head had kind of started to move on to 'whats next?' Will cross that bridge when we find out about funding.

Hope everyone well ?

Meadsylou - No idea whether you come on anymore, but was just wondering how you are?

Love to all
Warla x

TJ2011 · 31 Aug 2011

I'm back!!

Hi ladies, sorry I've not been on here, work has been crazy and I've had loads of techie problems, for ages couldn't get onto internet from the log in on my PC and just when sorted that out, my iphone decided it didn't want to let me on the internet either - arghh!!!!! Think we're sorting probs out now so 1st priority this morning was not 'I should catch up on the mountain of work that is piling up in the office - but I must see if anyone is around on the PGD board!!' - and I'm really chuffed there is!

Warla - I'm really pleased that you went back for your review and are in a bit more of a position to be thinking 'whats next' - cross the 'again' bridge when you come to it lovely, these things take time. Have you made the appolication for funding tet? How long is it likely to take to get a decision? Is PGD definetely what you want to do next? You did get a good fertilisation rate and had good embies didn't you so guess this is the next natural step at this stage? Shout if you want to talk anything through or just vent, I still think about what we went through together - twice - and our meeting at Care! xxx

Yellow - I'm so sorry its taken me this long, I am the worlds most disorganised person and when I get busy, I drop a 100 balls and forget so many things and when I couldn't get on the internet, I kind of had to forget about it for a while! I'm sure you have had your questions answered by now, but if you haven't, here goes!!

WE HAVE A DONOR!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, wanted to answer your question first but then realised I hadn't actually written it on this board!! Couldn't believe it and still in shock. Northampton had told us to expect a 2-4 month wait at best - but 4 weeks after we joined the register, the call came! She is a good match, an altruistic donor who is apparently donating just because she thinks its a nice thing to do - and we're chuffed to bits, albeit scared stiff of all the pitfalls! As she is altruistic and not an egg sharer, we will share her eggs with another couple so there are 3 ladies and we all have to have our cycles synched at the same time - this could be a much longer process than PGD! In a weird way, I'm really excited about getting back on the drugs again, I'm no addict (!) but at least I'll feel like we're doing something proactive again.

Now I can stop being selfish and answer your question! The drugs for donor recipients is around Â£162 (give or take a few pounds or pence!). I can be fairly exact as we had our 2nd round of meetings yesterday with the Co-ordination team. Once you have a donor and you accept her, you have to go in to sign a lot of the official documents relating to the cycle, process and risks - there is so much that can go wrong and I felt thoroughly depressed - for 5 minutes! - at which point they remind you that they have to tell you by law but the pitfalls are unlikely in most cycles - we hope (although I rememebr being told at my PGD signing meeting that the chances of having no viable embryos for transfer were very low and yet it happened twice - lets hope thats my bad luck done now!) - sidetracked again, sorry! So, docs all signed, there is then an injection teaching session which we didnt need due to the last 2 cycles being very recent - and then you go through the protocol and drugs costs. For all of the drugs was about Â£162 but our prescription has been amended as we have 90% of our pessaries left from the 2 cycles I never got to ET stage with, and we have 1 vial of Buserelin left. Still need to pay about Â£100-120 but still bit of a saving and substantially cheaper than with a normal cycle as there are no stimms drugs for us.

So here we are - down regging starts for me next week and then we will just have to see how it goes - 3rd time luck we hope!

Sorry again for my absence lovely ladies, hope to stay in touch better now xxxxxxxx

We had our official 'signing of the documents'

CKJ · 15 Feb 2012

Hi Treacle

That is great news!! And I will pray and keep all crossed that it is def 3rd time lucky for you sweetie.

Yay for DR'ing next week Smile

xxx

warla* · 18 Oct 2011

Thats great news Treacle, great to hear you are starting so soon. Really pleased for you, and fingers crossed this is the one!!

Not sure if PGD again is exactly the road I want to go down, but for me to carry another baby its the only option. We can not accept the option of getting pregnant naturally (not that its likely to happen anyway), another child with CF is a definate NO. If funding comes through then I guess we do it again, if not, then I dont know. We talk about adoption on and off but then CF rears its head again and we realise how difficult things would be with another child, naturally ours or adopted. We have another two weeks in hospital in November to look forward to Sad

BUT other people manage and I know we would but you know what its like when you start having doubts about everything! Sorry for the ramble, just thinking out loud x

Anyway, better go, this isnt getting the ironing done is it!!

Good luck with the down regging Treacle, cant wait to hear how its all going x x x

Warla

TJ2011 · 31 Aug 2011

Thank you for getting back to me so quickly, its nice to be back in touch! I've just read back my last post and there was a random last sentence that should have been deleted - I'm trying to do too much today, as usual - and just going round in circles and making mistakes - normal day in my office then!!!

Thank you for your wishes CKJ - howz things with you?

Warla, for what its worth, I think you're doing exactly the right thing, play it by ear for now, if you get the funding, there's nothing to lose really other than even more hair and sanity!! I wouldn't worry too much about what next until you get the news from the application first - good luck with it, really hope you get it xxxx

warla* · 18 Oct 2011

Well blow me, we got more funding!!! Cant quite believe it! Got to go for a reserves scan and redo our Hep/HIV bloods but then we are good to go again whenever we like !
Now got to get my head round when I could possibly wangle a bit a time off work, got like 2 days holiday left for the rest of the year, got K in hospital for 2 weeks Oct/Nov, so when can we fit it in?? Husband was wanting a holiday at some point too, afraid thats going to have to wait again!

I had really thought that we were finished after the last cycle but am quite excited now Smile

Meadsylou · 21 Sep 2008

Hi ladies

Glad to see a few of you are getting ready to start again, good luck xx

I just realised I didnt update our news on here, I gave birth to baby Amelia Grace on the 23rd June at 30 weeks and sadly we lost her shortly afterwards. She was so so perfect and beautiful, 3lb 1oz and 40 cm long. Had it not been for the hernia she most likely would have survived.

Take care all x

warla* · 18 Oct 2011

Oh Meadyslou, its just heartbreaking. It wasnt until after I'd asked after you on this thread last week that I saw your news on another thread. Im so so sorry, and I know nothing anyone says can make you feel any better, but I wish you and your family all the best for the future.
Lots of love
Warla x