CARE Fertility Bulletin Board

janetteph · 29 Sep 2006

Robbo sorry to hear you are still having issues with you little boy , i have no advice (sorry) but i do hope you can get everything sorted sooner than later , maybe the holiday to spain will give you him some time out from the issues he has here and a good chill out and fun time away from here will do you all the world of good , x janette...

nicknacknoo · 04 May 2009

Hi Robbo,

Sorry, but I have limited experience with Asperges. Try your best to not worry about DS's teachers comments. What observations is she backing her comments up with. Also you mention her boss does not agree with her, this is very confusing for you as a parent. Do you think the seperation issue is linked to the recent bereavement. DS may be very anxious that when he is apart from you he fears he will not see you again. I think I would try & source a bereavment consellor who has experience with children & talk through your concerns & how you can reassure DS. I found CRUISE to be a good agency. Good luck & try not to be worrying yourself silly x

Love to everyone else, sorry no more personals. Looking in on you all & thinking of you all, but little time to post.

Love Nicky & dribbly cuddles from Zach x

Robbo2 · 14 Mar 2007

Hi ladies

Hope you've all had a lovely weekend. We've had a nightmare with behaviour of DS so just quickies as I'm off to have a rum and coke and watch True Blood!

Nicky - thanks for your post. I think it's a number of things having talked to other mums of 4 year olds. They are all saying they have become more clingy and mardy recently - so probably an ages & stages thing but then multiplied by the loss of MIL AND putting another nursery session in to the mix as well. My worry is that it's become all consuming for him and it's now general anxiety over everything. His teacher - as I said before - has been pushing the "Friends" thing and he has become re unsociable since she's been pushing it saying I'm not going to play with anyone or anything. So I just say as matter as fact as I can OK but you'll get fed up and you'll soon realise that it's better to find someone to play with than sit in a corner moping. However his teacher isn't - she keeps saying "Go and play" and then talking to me about his behaviour in front of him which I also think he's picking up on and makeing something of it! The other teacher has said she doesn't think there is a problem at the moment but if he's not brought out of it there could be. She says he's extrememly bright - whisch just in itself bring socialising problems with peers because they aren't stimulating enough and also you have to explain everything inside out as a bright child always needs to know what's happenning when - DS to a T! It's breaking my heart to see him. With adults and if I'm there with other kids he has absolutely no problem whatsover but by himslef it's a different story. He's also getting really aggressive and having a LOT more tantrums. I have spoken to our local hospice councillors who have been good and sent us books. She says it's all typical behaviour for a child that's lost someone but I shouldn't stop the routine as then it just confirms that he has something to worry about. He keeps asking me if I'm scared when I leave him Sad

! I say no cos I know he's there and will be when I go to pick him up - so just keep trying to reassure him!*? I've given him a photo to take to school of the 2 of us and give him 10 kisses on his hand so that if he needs one he can take it. He said to me the other day "but mummy a photo isn;t as good as having you there!" So I said no but it's a comfort to know that I'm thinking about you whenever you look at your photo I'll be thinking of you. He said "but I want to stay at home and take care of you!" So had to explain that I was able to look aftter myself cos that's what happens as we get older and whilst I do miss him when he's not with me it's not in a bad way cos I know we'll have a fantastic time when we do see each other. Just trying to keep talking to him.

Jannette - thanks for your thoughts.

Right really am going.

Night night and love to all

Robbo xx

Reds(1703) · 20 Sep 2005

Robbo,

I was going to suggest giving DS a pic of you to take with him, so clearly great minds think alike Very Happy

BTW, there's a girl at school with A&P who they've known since they started pre-school. She had started in the January and they started in the April. A&P bobbed in every single day, usually without a backwards glance, yet this girl cried each and every day. She also did it every single day of Reception and I think she still does some days now, in Year 1. She's fine as soon as she's in the class and getting on with everything, though and her mum knows this, but she still feels dreadful leaving her. It's almost as if it has become a habit with this girl (I'm not suggesting this is the case with DS, but wanted to show you're not alone). I'm pretty sure that she didn't have any family loss, she just doesn't like leaving her mother. Once she's left, she's OK. She's so much better now that she's recently started at Rainbows with A&P and bobs in quite happily there. Fingers crossed for you that DS will find a way that helps him. It doesn't sound like his teacher is helping if she discusses with you in front of him!!!!

Hutchy - Hope Baby H is still doing well. Can't wait for the piccies Very Happy

lol
Reds
xx

rosemummy · 04 Dec 2009

Hello everyone sorry I've been so rubbish. I have been reading but finding it hard to post!
Robbo, not sure what to suggest. It seems to me that he probably is just going through a stage and although being supportive is the obvious thing to do I also do think that you have to keep the routine going and be firm with him. I also think that sometimes "ignoring" the issue can sometimes help, like ignoring bad behaviour and just going about life in a matter of fact way. I'm not saying you shouldn't reassure etc but as you say keeping going on about it in front of him is just making it worse. Just speak to the teacher and say that you do not wish to iscuss his behaviour in front of him and you ar emore than happy to meet when he isn't there. That should help with that bit. It's so hard - getting the balance right between being "nice" and also being firm kind of a cruel to be kind approach....ahhhhh tough...I can't really help I don;'t think and probably all of that makes no sense whatsoever. I can meet up if you like, don't work MOndays now so that's a goer whenver you want to and perhaps try and put into words that make sense!!

Hutchy how are you getting on? Has the stitch come out now? So exciting now!

Nicky I know what you mean about the time thing....gosh it all goes so quickly and now I have a new cleaning regime...a bit every night to keep on top of things so I have even less time now. Let's see how long that lasts...glad to see Zach is OK! When do you go back to work?

Julie - how are you? Any scans? How about the sickness? getting better I hope. How did the PM go? hope your DH is OK?

Well better go, feeding teh kids and got stuff to do as ever. I have been back at work for two weeks and it has gone OK but I am tired all the time. ALex still not sleeping well and they ahve both had hand foot and mouth too, luckliy not too bad in their mouths. But they have settled really well in the nursery and I am really happy with the staff so that's good. they tell me that they are the best behaved babies and the most good natured too! they must be lying! Me and big DD had a massive falling out the first week...going through a phase of "don't like that" food-wise which didn't impress me the first time she went to the nursery and refused both the breakfast and tea - ridiculous. ANd the next day she refused chicken stirfry at our house....I made her sit and eat every single bit and told her that if she didn't eat it that night she would get it the next night and the night after that (and I would've done it too). So we have had a discussion over fussiness and we don't do fussy anymore. SInce then, she has been a lot better. Up till now she was good at eating pretty much anything but just recently started playing up. just trying it on and I don't care if she has a new place to go to after school she has never had a problem with a cheese sandwich before and she ain't starting now!!! Ha Ha.

ANyway better dash. hope everyone else is OK, sorry for the rush xx

Robbo2 · 14 Mar 2007

Hi all

Just a couple of quickies

Rosemummy - yes I can do Mondays cos I don't work then either - will let you know I'm tied up for next couple. Oh aren't kids just funny about things sometimes! Glad it's not only mine Smile

!

Reds - mmmm - well funny you should say that cos I think a little bit of it is starting to become that way. Not a habit (cos obviously it hasn't been going on for long enough to be that) but... today in park - no word of a lie DS has been able to climb before he could walk! As he got older he would climb and throw himself off all sorts of things if I wasn't watching him - and if I wasn't close enough to stop him! My heart used to be litterally in my mouth!!! Anyway today been to park - he sat on the monkey bars and told me he was scared and they were too high! To which I responded you were doing this at 3! So dispite this he still kept getting on them (but making me take him off screaming the place down!) So we did it a few time all the time he was making the most awful whaling noise (without tears!!!) and I said that's it I'm off and started to leave. So anyway he said no he would try - same old - got on monkey bars and started whaling. So I just left him swinging there (oh my that sounds truly awful doesn't it : Rolling Eyes

) and told him he had to get himslef down as he had millions of times before. Anyway he did - landed fine - looked at me and gave me this huge grin and that was that! Another 100 goes before we went home! All day when I've asked him about something I've had the "I don't know" answer. It's as though he has this awful negativity come over him all of a sudden and he doesn't want to join in, play with anything and he's become scared of anything and everything. What I don't get is this - I have a friend who has a son pretty much the same at this age - he's now turned 12 and he's still the same Shocked

but she encourages this behaviour - which I DONT! If we go out he demands she's back by a certain time and she is. If there's something to do he can't stay with his dad has to go with her all of the time etc etc. Now what I don;t get is that if DS has the choice of who to go with - me or his dad 99% of the time he chooses his dad - so what's that all about???? He's never ever been clingy to me even as a young baby - cos I've tried to discourage it - it was always his dad! Oh my I'm just hoping that by talking and listening and showing him he'llcome through it OK. TBH if we weren't so close to the school year end I would have found another nursery cos I really don't think his teacher is helping - but it's the one that feeds the school so will have the kids he's going to go through school with. Oh hum hey Smile

!

Hi to everyone - got to go I can hear DP clanging pots - which means I've been on PC too long Smile

!

Robbo x

Squeeza · 23 May 2007

Hi Robbo
Sorry to barge in on this thread - I just wanted to say I will be replying in full to your post to me - we ve had a rather busy weekend with hettie s birthday and then illness and I m now on late nights at school because of parents evening ! Will be back soon I promise !

Love squeeza x

Reds(1703) · 20 Sep 2005

Robbo,

You've reminded me of a discussion I heard a little bit of when driving home for lunch the other day. It was on Jeremy Vine and they were discussing sleepovers (29.2.12 - still available to listen to). Apparently a young girl and her friends ended up watching horror clips online and has since been traumatised by it. The expert was recommending that everyday life should not be changed because of this as it seems to exacerbate it etc and that life should continue as normal (ie not sleeping in with a parent because of fear, blah blah). So, it sounds like your 'cruel' behaviour in the park was out of pure kindness and love and worked a treat Very Happy

You definitely don't want him ending up as clingy as your friend's son!

lol
Reds
xx

Robbo2 · 14 Mar 2007

Hi all

Squeeza - no problem - hope you're all feeling better now? There's lots of nasty bugs around at the mo and just hoping we stay clear of them - we've had our share!

Reds - yes my friend told me about it. What I dont get is they say give it some time - like 4 weeks! Which really is absolutely nothing. Just out of curiosity the little girl you mentioned in your earlier thread - has she had a diagnosis of Aspergers by any chance? The only reason I ask is cos the teacher mentioned she thought DS may have a problem - and you know how it is you start wondering and Googleing! I am so bad for it and now that teacher has set the seed I'm really starting to worry even though the other teacher has said she doesn't think there's a problem - he just needs toughening up emotionally! What I really want to know is having read symptoms of Aspergers - couldn't that be just about any child or is it just me??? Like as toddlers they like repitition but by 4 it's no so good. Tantrums when facing the unknown - isn't that all kids (and most adults we just don't show it!). Obsession with a certain game - when does a favourite game become an obsession??? Aspergers children don't interact - well I know a number of children that have real problems interacting and being shy - does this mean that they all have Aspergers??? When does an ecentric personality stop being the norm and become Aspergers - don't all kids do/say something that makes you wonder where they have got it from?? It's all just sooo confusing. I was reading something the other day and it says where ADHD was the prognosis of the 90's Aspergers has become the diagnosis of the 00's!!! Why does everything have to have a name?? I also read (daily telegraph!) that some kids have grown out of Autism - well how does that work - maybe cos they never really had Autism at all just a quirky nature that they have grown out of and they got a diagnosis too quickly. Phew - will get off my soap box now Smile

! I just know that a throw away comment from his teacher has made me 1 very unhappy lady at the mo - I'm hoping she's never proved right Sad

!

Hutchy - seem a bit quiet - hope all is well with you, Baby Hutchy and Mr Hutchy?

Julie - how are you doing? Not heard from you in a while. Hope you're coping as best you can.

Hi to everyone - sorry - no more personals - really need to go and do some work and then book some holiday insurance and a car Smile

! Then get to bed - DS starts school in morning tomorrow for 1st time - already had a bit of a do tonight saying he doesn't want to go in the morning - so I said OK we'll go at 9.00 o'clock instead Rolling Eyes

. He then clicked and said well isn't 9.00 in the morning - I just said it's mid and it seems to have settled him at the mo - so think about me at 9.00 tomorrow! So unsure if this is the right thing to do or whether I should have left him to get more settled. Just going on teachers advice - so we shall see!

Will be back later in the week.

Robbo xx

nicknacknoo · 04 May 2009

Hello ladies,

Hope you are all enjoying the Spring days we are starting to have. Spring time in my favourite time of year.

Robbo â€“ Iâ€™m sorry that you are still feeling concerned about DS. You do sound like you are being very proactive in how to support DS through this difficult phase. You really are doing the best you can as his mummy.
When I think about it, I have seen similar behaviour in two of my friendâ€™s children when they were of a similar age. One in particular I felt a little concerned with. There were certain traits that reminded me of the children I have worked with that have Autism.
It was a difficult subject to approach with my close friend as I did not want to add any unnecessary worry. We ended up having a conversation about some of our observations, when she asked me to help her complete some background info that the school were asking every parent for, before they started school.
My friendâ€™s DS was particularly obsessive about certain toys, would happily play for hrs on his own reacted badly to some social situations & loud noises seemed to distress him. I would also say he is very bright.
I must say though, that since he has started school, (he is now 7). He may well still have certain traits, but he is doing really well. He really is one of my favourite children, yes a little different at times, but so what!! What is normal behaviour anyway?? We can be very analytical about behaviour at times. I am sure I will be just the same.
What I think I am trying to say is, it really could be a phase he is going through. Iâ€™m sure once he starts school he will find a few friends that suit him. There will be plenty to choose from.
Yes keep a close eye on how heâ€™s doing & have the odd chat with the school teacher, but initially donâ€™t bring anything necessarily to their attention; just see if they mention anything.
I probably havenâ€™t helped much, try to not let it upset you too much. Your DS sounds like he has many lovely & positive qualities x

Rosemummy â€“ I am glad that Esme & Alex have settled so well at nursery & what lovely comments about them both. Bet you felt so proud. You made me laugh with the cheese sandwich story. It reminded me of being a little girl & saying to my daddy, â€œIâ€™m hungryâ€, I was fishing for a treat of course. My dad used to say, no problem Iâ€™ll make you a cheese sandwich", which I always used to decline. Not that I didnâ€™t like cheese sandwiches of course, but it wasn't what I quite had in mind!!
Other than being tired, how are you finding your return to work? I bet it takes a lot of juggling with your LOâ€™s, you sound like you have everything in order with your little regimes x

Hutchy â€“ How are you honey? You seem to have gone a little quiet. Hope all is ok with baby Hutchy. Just had a little stalk & seen that your stitch will be checked today. Hope they are able to leave it for a further week. Sounds like you are in good hands.
Great that you are finishing work tomorrow. I know it has been a stressful pregnancy, never easy after all that we have been through. Not long now till you get to meet baby Hutchy. Have you any gut feelings about the sex. I really felt I was having a girl, but hey ho, got my gorgeous boy instead, that I am more than happy about. Do drop in to let us know all is ok hon, thinking of you xx

Julie â€“ How are you doing too? Really hope your sickness has eased. Are you starting to get a nice bump? Take care x

Smellycat & Alex â€“ Hope all is going well with your little bundles. Bet you are just so busy with two little oneâ€™s. Looking forward to hearing your news when you get a chance of course x

Briony â€“ Hope all is good with the lovely Hattie. To think she is nearly 3. What a lovely age. Bet she is full of chatter x

Ali â€“ Hope all is good with Will & Finn. I bet they are such little characters when they are together x

Janette â€“ Howâ€™s your little princess Mia. Is it her bâ€™day soon?

Hi to Reds, nice to see you dropping in x

AFM â€“ All is good here I have days of feeling shattered, then days of feeling really energised. Today is a shattered one. Zach chattering away at 4am then 6am. Mmmmm! He is a really good boy though, going through the night, other than his little conversations with himself!!
Iâ€™m back to work on 24th April. YIKES!! That will be a shock to the system. I plan to do 16hrs over 2.5 days. This is a reduction of 2.5hrs a week in my NVQ role. I wonâ€™t be returning to my carerâ€™s job of 8hrs a week. So quite a reduction in hrs & money too, but I would really rather have the time with Zach, than money in my pocket. Have waited too long for my little man & want to enjoy as much as I can with him.
I have some Keeping In Touch days organised with work; my first one is next Monday. My friend will be having Zach from 9-11am 2 days a week & my mum will be collecting Zach at 11am & look after him at my house until I am in from work. Feel really happy with these arrangements, as itâ€™s important to me for Zach to be with people he knows well at this age. I would consider a childminder or nursery when heâ€™s a bit older. Anyhow, time to sign off & take Zach & dog out whilst the sun is still shining x

Love Nicky xx

nicknacknoo · 04 May 2009

Rosemummy - Forgot to ask. Wondering if you can reccommend something for Zach. he has an area of what looks like exzema in the crease area of his foot & leg. So far I have tried Olive oil, E45, & vasoline. It doesn't seem to be improving, but spreading.

Thanks
Nicky x

Hutchy · 30 Aug 2007

Hi Girls

I am still here, not been posting much as really knackered when I get home from work..... My consultant examined my stitch today and he is happy with it as it is all still as it should be, he has booked me in on 21st March to have the stitch taken out....
I had a lovely day at work yesterday as they threw a baby shower for me and I got lots of lovely gifts, I am so glad to be finishing tomorrow....

Sorry no personals, I will try and get back on over the weekend or next week when I have more time... Hope you are all well and enjoying this lovely weather...

Hutchy xx

wendymw · 01 Feb 2008

Hutchy, so pleased that things are going well, you've beaten me! Glad the stitch is holding and all going well. Any time after now is a bonus, so I'm sure things will go well. Great that you're finishing work, will be lovely for you to have some chill out time before baby Hutchy arrives.

Big hugs from me

Wendy x

Hutchy · 30 Aug 2007

Thanks Wendy

How are you, has the bleeding stopped, are you booked for a scan....

Hutchy xx

wendymw · 01 Feb 2008

Hutchy, bleeding stopped yesterday, but bled for over a week and test this morning was not pregnant, so I've cancelled my scan on Monday. Have to move on and think about doing final ever cycle maybe May time. My aunty died on Tuesday as well, so things are a bit grim for me at the moment.

So pleased that you are doing well though.

Wendy x

janetteph · 29 Sep 2006

Very sorry to read your news wendy both about the bfn and your aunties death too ,big HUGS x janette...

nicknacknoo · 04 May 2009

Wendy - I am so sorry it hasn't worked out for you this time. You sound like you are having to deal with a lot of loss at the moment, especially with the loss of your dear aunt too. I hope your gorgeous boy is able to lift your spirits on those sad days. take care, thinking of you x

Nicky xx

nicknacknoo · 04 May 2009

Hutchy - Great news that your stitch can remain until the 21st. How lovely your colleagues arranged a baby shower for you. I bet they are all so pleased for you. My last day at work was very emotional, there was just so many tears from me & others. Hey! it's hard to believe I start back soon. trust me the time really does fly by.
Hope once you finish work you feel more rested. I really enjoyed my time off before Zach arrived.

Love to everyone else, hope you are all having a good day xx

Nicky xx

wendymw · 01 Feb 2008

Thanks Janet and Nicky, it is a bit rubbish at the moment.

Wendy x

Reds(1703) · 20 Sep 2005

Hutchy,

Great news that your stitch is working so well. I hadn't realised before how close you are to my dates - I finished work 10.3.06 at 34 weeks!!! A&P then decided to allow me only a day's 'rest' before starting to make their appearance, though as my waters went 35 hours after finishing work and I think it was 81 hours after finishing that I had two babies Laughing

Hope Baby H doesn't cause as much disruption.

lol
Reds
xx

rosemummy · 04 Dec 2009

Just a quick one as I am at work.
Nicky sounds like eczema. You need to use a good emollient very regularly to work...aqueous cream, diprobase, e45 you could try but you have to put it on a minimum of 4 times a day for any good result. That failing, then maybe a weak steroid cream hydrocortisone 0.5% or 1% but you will need to get that from the Dr as can't sell it over the counter to under 2's I don't think. Could try oilatum in the bath too and avoid soaps etc on the area. let me know how you get on.

Hutchy so pleased to hear from you, glad you are OK and it is so exciting now. Can't wait to meet baby H and find out what colour it is. I'm so pleased that you are at this point. Its truly amazing. When I left work it was only a few days after the 1st anni of Rose and so I didn't want any big presentations as it didn't feel right and I knew I would be a wreck so I asked that I just say my goodbyes provately with people. They respected my wishes but were so nice in the fact that they decorated my office while I was on the wards and lef tthe pressies on my desk. SO sweet.

Better go got a metting now
x

nicknacknoo · 04 May 2009

Hi Rosemummy,

Thanks for your response. think I'll make a Dr's appointment. I have been putting the E45 on several times a day. Today it looked more angry & flared up, so I think a steroid cream may be more suitable.

Nicky x

Hutchy · 30 Aug 2007

Reds - I hope baby Hutchy gives me a bit of time to myself before making such an early appearance as A&P did for you, although I will start to get frustrated if he/she keeps me waiting too long lol....

Wendy - so sorry things haven't worked out for you when it was looking so promising... Sorry to hear about your aunt too.. hope you are ok...

Nicky - I didn't shed any tears at my baby shower cause I had the biggest smile on my face all day as I have attended many of these at work and was s glad that it was finally my turn for once... When do you go back to work, it doesn't seem 2 minutes since you had Zach, how long have you had off...

Janette - hope you are getting some sunshine I heard was about yesterday, it hasn't yet made it to Wigan...

Julie - how are things with you and the twins, hope you are being monitored well..

Robbo - how is your DS now, hope he is ok.. where and when is your next holiday, hopefully that will give your DS something to focus on and look forward to..

Rosemummy - how are things going at work, are you managing getting everybody ready before you get out to work, I bet that takes some planning lol...

Smellycat, Alex and Ali, hope you are all ok and anyone else I have missed (I hope not!!)

AFM - I am just relaxing today and catching up on sky+, I am going for my legs waxed this afternoon and I can't wait as they haven't been done since December!!!! don't want to give baby Hutchy a fright when he/she enters the world lol......
DH won't let me wander too far on my own in case anything happens lol... We were in Currys at the weekend and the sales assistants asked me if it was safe for me to be shopping as I looked ready to pop lol....
Will be taking my hospital bags to the hospital with us on 21st March just in case things begin to start... We have our hospital tour on Saturday and then an afternoon with the midwives to discuss stages of labour which I am looking forward to....

Hutchy xx

rosemummy · 04 Dec 2009

Hutchy my twinnies were born only 2 days later than you are now!!!!
Hi to all. not in a good mood nothing specific but dont feel liketyping.......
Its all so exciting.
Xxx

wendymw · 01 Feb 2008

Lol Rosemummy - she's 5 days past where I got to with just one!

W x