CARE Fertility Bulletin Board

Hel75 · 13 Apr 2010

Hi all!
Josie- hope prep course isnt too draining!
Sarah- great news, good luck Monday, keep cleaning!!!! On our first visit I had cleaned better than ever before and as SW left my ?Â£*! of a DH said "Aren't you looking round the house, we've cleaned up for you" Luckily she found it funny and said "I'll give you warning so you can clean again!!"
Elizabeth- that sounds exciting!!!
Woo- I have 2 weeks left on my course and I am on countdown big time!!!! Final exam on monday of which I am unprepared as I cannot focus or motivate myself!!!

We have got the LO's SW coming to see us Tuesday evening, so will hopefully get a few more answers then...!!!!
Have booked a helicopter flight for me and my dad tomorrow and feel sick at the thought, but know he will love it!!!!!

Hx

Mel · 16 Mar 2000

Just a quickie but in case you didn't see it in my last post Hel, it is the PLACEMENT ORDER you need to ask about not the Care Order as this will have been made shortly after LO was taken in to care.

To remove a child they have either Police Protection Order if they can't get a Interim Care Order straight away. For example if they remove a child at neight or weekend when the courts aren't in sitting or if they can't get a hearing in time. They then get a an Interim and then a Full Care Order quite early on. They can only place a child with an adoptive family if they have a PLACEMENT ORDER, without that a child is not legally available to adopt and all sorts of delays can happen before a PO gets granted.

Good luck with your exam.
Mel x

josie67 · 02 Oct 2011

hi everybody, hope you are all well. We actually had a bit of sun here for the morning, and it is amazing how much better you feel when the sun is out - but the clouds are back again now - boo!

Woo - whoopee about booking a lovely holiday, and well done to your DD bless her. I bet you are so so proud. Thank you so much for the offer of books. That is much appreciated - how shall we do that then? If you email me on xxxxxxxxx and let me know. And then I'll be able to pass them on to other newbies once I have used them. I do believe in books being read rather than gathering dust on shelves, and like to share books. Smile

Good luck to Sar for tomorrow with your home study. How does it work - do you have to have time of work for that as well as these courses? Or can they be flexible around your working life?

Sorry but i have to rush again everybody - haven't seen our dads yet - so have to do the rounds. lots of love to all

Josie xxx

Hel75 · 13 Apr 2010

Thanks Mel,
Will make sure I ask about that. Appreciate the info xxx

Woo · 28 May 2007

Hi Josie will have a look at what books I have an email you the list and you can let me know what you want or I could send them all?

Hel - good luck for Tuesday hun - I am sure it will go well. Hope you and your dad enjoyed the helicopter LOL Smile

Hope your exam goes well too Smile

Sar - good luck for tomorrow hun will be thinking of you Smile

Hi to Elizabeth and Mel - hope you are both well.

Woox

Sue123 · 21 Oct 2009

Hello everybody,

I hope you have all had a lovely weekend!

Josie- The course sounds stressful but I'm not suprised. We had our safeguarding update course at school a couple of weeks ago and I thought then, 'I bet this is the sort of stuff you do on the adoption training'.All very good to know for the future though, both personally and at work.

Mel- I think it was you giving info about the diff between PO and CO? very use ful for novices like me too!! thankyou! Very Happy

Woo- Glad you are going away, have a lovely time, you deserve it!
I am going away with hubby in the school hols to Lanzarote just for a week. We are saving money for hopefully when we get a little one so I can have more time off work. But a week will be better than nothing. Very Happy

Well I had a hell of a week last week, the dreaded OFSTED!! Anyway I wont bore you all with it but I survived and did ok although I was a bit annoyed that the inspectors spent 10 mins in my classroom after all the hard work over the last 2 years that I have put in, but hey ho its over with now for another 2 years.
Got performance management obs tommorrow so got to crack on with finalising my planning for that tonight. Rolling Eyes

Josie- Did you ask me something about my LA? Yes we did decide to go with them as from what I can gather from my research they got outstanding from their ofsted (however I know the pitfalls of ofsted inspections but unless you know other people who have adopted I dont know what else you could use to judge?). Anyway, we are waiting for the SW visit and I think the course is not until October Sad

I'm sur it will come round soon.

Hello to everyone else too. xxx

Sue

josie67 · 02 Oct 2011

Ofsted - groan! Sue - i'm sure you had the inspectors in while we were cycling? Was that a seperate inspection? But at least it is all done for a while now. We had ours about this time 2 years ago, and although it was so stressful at the time, i was just so pleased that it was over with for the summer. Our head had been stressing about it for a year before it arrived so we had been on high alert for a whole year which can be very draining. By the way, even though your course is not until October, maybe you will be assigned a social worker before hand? I don't know how it works really, but maybe your home study will begin before the course. Do you know something, I didn't even think to check for reports on the agency we went with. But i guess we were just going on the first hand experience of our friends in their journey. I know each journey will be different, but it gives us hope that ours will run as relatively smoothly as theirs did. As for the course - I don't know if stressful is the word. It is terribly shocking to hear statistics and facts, as well as real life case studies, and it makes you wonder what happens in peoples minds to enable them to be so disgustingly cruel, but on the other hand you know that you must be prepared, and each session during the day is a step closer to understanding how you might deal with your future children. You know that with the knowledge you develop over the many months of the adoption process, you will be enabling yourselves to put right some of the wrongs being done, and in that sense it feels positive. Am I rambling, or do you understand what I mean! lol!

Woo - thanks honey - I'll look forward to your email. And I'll delete my address after that. xxx

wobally · 24 Nov 2008

Hello you lovely lot!!

Hope everyone's OK.

So sorry but a real quicky again today as I've still got jobs to do and I'm pooped!

I hope everything goes really well for all of you who have exams/observations/sw visits this week - what a lot going on at the moment.

Woo - please keep posting. I'd miss you if you went Very Happy

x

Things here are going really well now. Everything seems to have settled down over the past couple of weeks and life feels a lot less stressful. I must admit I did have a couple of weeks where I was really worried that I was making a right hash of this mummy job!!
But now that I feel better physically (good old anti-biotics!) and we're getting more sleep - thanks Mel for the black out blind details!! we also got a 'gro clock' so LO is waking nearer to 7 now than 6. Bliss! - things seem to have fallen into place and we're all more relaxed and having lots of fun. Phew!
My sister said she really struggled for the first 6 weeks after she'd had her birth children and then it eased so I guess it's much the same - a shock, a steep learning curve and a period of huge readjustment Smile

.

Right, off to finish my chores. Will try really hard to come on tomorrow night and catch up with everyone.

Lots of love xx

Hel75 · 13 Apr 2010

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!! So excited, cant stay calm any longer!!!!
LOs SWs came last night, placement order is sorted, no obvious issues, all reasy to go...!!!! SW gave us a piccie of her and that was it- i burst into floods of tears and struggled to compose myself! Embarassed

She is perfect.... think next step is to meet her foster carer and get date for matching panel. LO is 1 in sept and they would like her to be with us by then,,,!!!
Very Happy

Sorry for selfish post, just so excited, now need to get to uni for my last day!!
Hope everyones okay xxxxxxx

Mel · 16 Mar 2000

That's fantastic news Hel Smile

Fingers crossed all goes well (no reason why it shouldn't!) September isn't that far away Smile

Mel x

Woo · 28 May 2007

Hel - CONGRATULATIONS Very Happy

Well done hun your LO sounds great. Hope all goes well. Very Happy

Woox

Woo · 28 May 2007

Josie - will send you an email hun with the books I have. You can take your email address off have it now.

Sue - good you are having a holiday before things start - October will be here before you know it!!

Wobally - glad to hear things are going well for you hun things sound pretty well Smile

Mel - hope you are well hun.

Elizabeth - how are you chick?

Countdown to holiday next Friday - DD stops school on Tuesday until 15th August!!

Woox

Melynsada · 12 Nov 2010

Hi Everyone

Well gosh so much has happened in a few days. Thanks for your good luck messages.

Hel I am soooooo pleased for you how exciting and a lovely age too. Did you specifically want a young child?

Woo - A holiday sounds like a real good plan. Congrats to DD that was really good for her to get that award. I would have been very proud too if she had been my daughter. It would be great if you stayed online I would miss your chatter too.

Mel - hope your ok. Thanks for the info re CO and PO I hadnt realised that is what happened either so its given me some good knowledge which I discussed with SW on Monday.

Wobally - so glad to hear things are settling down and your right it is a great big period of adjusting i think your sister got it right.

Josie - Congrats on finishing the prep course. October will be hear before you know it. Nothing to stop you starting your eco map and family tree and writing up bits about your finances though is there. thats what i have done to pass the time and the SW on Monday was impressed I had made the effort. I had my first visit on Monday morning but the others I have arranged for around 4.30 so I only have to have an hour or so off work. I explianed to her that they were docking my wages and she was appalled at that so she said she would compromise with me so I didnt lose too much money.

Sue - Well done getting through OFSTED its awful at school isnt it when they say they are coming our head aint that bad they mention that it will be happening at some point then give a couple of days warning when it will happen and then everyone becomes manic LOL. Such a stressful thing. Thankfully now it is over you can settle down to concentrating on getting your LO.

Elizabeth - Hope your doing ok and that you sorted out meeting with SW to talk about the link. Fingers crossed for you. Its nice to know she is good at what she does so you can have confidence in her.

AFM - well I had my first new social worker visit on Monday morning she was with me over 3 hours god only knows what we talked about but she went round the house and said most of it was fine obviously I have to get rid of my pond which I had already decided anyway as it drives me mad and my gorgeous glass dinning table has to go! Crying or Very sad

I wasnt sure if it was safety glass so unless I can prove it then I have to change it. She also gave me loads of homework!!! I feel like I am studying for my A Levels again LOL.

Last night my old social worker came to re do my CRB and that took 10 mins and she stayed for 2 hours!!! We were just chatting about this that and the other. It was nice actually to see her.

Apparently my new social worker sits on panel too so she is well into whats what so hopefully that will be a good thing for me because she will want to ensure I dont get a no as it may look bad on her. She is a manager too and I can see her really grilling me on things like my finances and she has already mentioned my weight and the fact the doctor on the panel has a thing about it. BOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Evil or Very Mad

Next visit is next Thursday and then the following Thurday and then 2 weeks after that. Hopefully then we will be able to fit in the last 2 visits in August whilst I am off work and then go to panel in November.

Not sure if I will manage to get on again this week as off to pick up some soil to fill in my pond tomorrow night and then it Friday again!!!!!! Where are these weeks going.

Take care everyone xxxx

josie67 · 02 Oct 2011

hi everyone - just want to say wow to Hel - i am so pleased for you hun - how extremely exciting for you - and a 1 yr old! Great news. xxx

Woo thank you so much - will edit old post now then. You are a star. Just hoping that you haven't emailed already as I deleted loads in my junk mail before looking properly at it and seeing this message. Great that you have your hols all booked and ready to go - seems a bit early for your DD's school breaking up - is it an academy? xxx

Sar - also fab news from you with your social worker visit. And thanks for the tips on getting started with things. I bet your SW is impressed with your organisational skills hun!

Hi to Mel, Elizabeth, Wobally and Sue - hope you are all well?

Last training day tomorrow - have met some lovely new adopters on my course who we hope to stay in touch with. When you have to talk about really personal feelings and case studies with people you really get to know them don't you. Hoping that we find out more about the home study stage tomorrow and get to find out who our SW is. Also looking forward to meeting some experienced foster carers and adopters.

lots of love xxx

Hel75 · 13 Apr 2010

Hi all,
Still stupidly giddy really!!! Meeting LO foster carer a week on Monday and have a provisional matching panel date for 24th July!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sar- we did initially say we would like a very young child, ideally under 2, told us that under 1 is unlikely but hopefully LO will be under 1 when/if we get her! Your SW sounds nice, it will be Nov before you know it!
Josie- glad your course is going well
Thank you to everyone for all the advice you gave me before these meetings- really helpful!!!!! Can I ask for more now please...?! What do we want to be asking foster Mum- is it more practical stuff regarding food, sleep, fave toys etc... Also, when is it ok to start buying things as i'm itching to go but dont want to tempt fate... I have starting 'sorting' the spare bedroom but that needed doing anyway so dont feel bad doing that! SW said to paint bedroom to feel we were doing something. Those of you who have already got your LOs what did you do and when- Keeping in mind they are talking about intros straight after panel with idea of her being here 2nd week in august if all goes to plan!!
Hello to everyone else, hope everyone is ok xxx

Elizabeth hope · 20 Oct 2007

Wow Hel..........I am buzzing reading your post........don't know where to start but I do love the sound of the speed of all this......fantastic and just as it should be!!!

To be honest I would just start getting ready, ie the room, your head, your house and start looking at baby stuff. I promise you on day of matching panel you could go to somewhere like Kiddiecare or buy on line if not near and you could have everthing you need in a day but you will get on better if you know what stuff you need. Questions to ask Foster carer....hmmmm...will think. Actually we have just been to meet D's FC's as they are in the country ( they moved after D left them) and it was brilliant. They want us to go over for a visit anytime and I have said I will do my best to get over. All I will say is stay focused on the fact that these people have kept her safe so far and so you need to approach them with respect and ask away. I can't think of specifics yet but I am certain Mel will have some good advice and Wobally will.

Enjoy it.....it sounds fantastic. Very Happy

Elizabeth
xxx

Mel · 16 Mar 2000

Hi Hel

Wow! That's going to be quick which is fab! Buying stuff I guess depends on whether you are expected to do a family book and include a photo of the bedroom ready for panel? Once you get a panel date you should be fairly confident that things will go to plan, SWs won't take you to panel if there are any doubts and matching is totally different to approval.

With DS we had to put a photo of his room in the book so we bought the furniture we would need but held off with the pushchair, car seat etc until we'd been to panel.

With DD we knew we would need nursery furniture as we were specifying under 18 months so I bought it in the sale to get a good deal. Car seat etc we bought in the run up to MP, were more confident 2nd time round!!!

Do you ever go on Adoption UK? If not, worth taking a look at the Resources board as there is a post with all the questions you could ever think of to ask FC. I copied it into word and then took out what wasn't relevant to us. Even if FC can't answer it all then and there due to time they could take it away and work through it. Let me know if you need a hand finding it.

Enjoy getting ready and your last weeks as a couple, the next couple of months will fly by!

Mel x

Hel75 · 13 Apr 2010

Found it Mel- thanks. I do occasionally look at adoption uk message boards but hadn't seen that- THANK YOU!!!!!

pauline2005 · 21 Feb 2005

Hi all,

A quick update - we adopted a 5 year old 3 months ago (he is now 6)

I have come back to this board after a long absence. I found adoption uk really negative, but need to keep in touch with others for much needed advice and support. I think the honeymoon period is officially over, eek!

Hel - wow, exciting news about matching panel in July, the time will fly by, such a busy and exciting time ahead, x

Josie - congratulations on completing your prep course, hope you have found out who our sw will be for home study and have a start date for that?

I'll try to keep up with everyone, trying to get a feel of where everyone is at on their adoption journey by reading through the posts, bear with me lol.

Pauline

Mel · 16 Mar 2000

Hi Pauline

Welcome back and Congratulations on your DS Smile

My DS is now 6 unfortunately with the attitude of a 16 year old Rolling Eyes

and can be very hard work but he also has a very lovely, cuddly side Smile

Mel x

pauline2005 · 21 Feb 2005

Thank you Mel for your welcoming message.

It is amazing how a 6 year old can cause such challenges to us adults, lol. We had a challenging week followed by a melt down yesterday morning. Today he said to me he was all better now and he loved me again.

Pauline x

Hel75 · 13 Apr 2010

Congratulations on your DS pauline xxxx

Elizabeth hope · 20 Oct 2007

Welcome back pauline and congrats on your new addition to the family....has it all sunk in yet? It gets easier....the kids don't but your ability to switch off does a bit...haha!! We are always here to offer any support you need and YES it is normal to not feel gushing love, to not feel like other mums and to sometimes question why the hell you did it!! If you haven't got those feelings then I apologise and I am very happy for you. A word of caution re the other site.....if you were just bobbing along with no problems what would you do?? Post a question or comment or just get on with living?? In the main the site is made up of some stalwarts that do what they can to support new adopters and adopters who need some help and new prospective adopters. I don't think the people are negative as such, it just appears that way. Mind you I think there might be one or two that like to have a little swipe but I just take it with a pinch of salt. You get that everywhere in life. I don't generally post on there but I do use it as a resource to provoke ideas.

Hel, have you been baby shopping yet?

Sar how did you go filling in your pond?? Blimey your good, I would be getting someone else to do it. That is commitment, a story for panel maybe?? It shows your pro active.

Josie, have you got your SW yet? DOn't worry if not, I am sure it wont be long at all.

Mel, have emailed you hun.

Wobally......the bark is almost down....yay......I have nearly got a child friendly play zone in the garden....D can't wait for DS to come round. Chicken dippers at the ready ( Sorry Jamie Oliver, I might do home made ones.....)

Woo, if your reading hugs. Hows things going??

If I have missed anyone, let me know and I will do better to keep up.

D had bad temp for a couple of days but very much better today....bouncing all over the place.

Speak soon

Elizabeth
xxx

Woo · 28 May 2007

Elizabeth - sorry to hear LO was not well - glad to hear he is on the mend. Hope you have something nice planned for the sommer holidays. Very Happy

Pauline - nice to hear from you hun. Glad to hear things are going okay for you Very Happy

Mel - how are you hun? Got anything planned for the hols? Very Happy

Hel - hope your meeting goes well on Monday I am sure it will. 24th July will be here before you know it. Good luck Smile

Josie - have sent you an email hun to send those books :_

Sar - hope you are well hun:) How did the pond filling go? Smile

Sue - hope you are well hun?

Sorry if I have missed anyone - trying to catch up!!

I have been busy back at work and going away on holiday this Friday so I will not probably manage back on until 11th July. Hope you guys have good summer hols and will be in touch when I come back.

Take care
Woox

Elizabeth hope · 20 Oct 2007

Hi girls

Woo......soo sorry have missed wishing you a fab holiday but hope you have a lovely time and chat when you get back.

Ladies I hope you are all ok and the various stages are all going well. Nothing to report my end at the moment unless I haven't said we have a SW visit in just over a weeks time to learn more about a little one whose report we have had. I have completely lost track this time.

I hope you all have fab weekends.

Elizabeth
xxx