| *claire* |
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| Joined: 13 Mar 2001 |
| Posts: 14699 |
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 Posted: Sun Jun 13, 2010 12:33 am |
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more hugs from me too hun,
thinking of you
claire xx |
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Posted: Sun Jun 13, 2010 5:57 am |
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| Julie , im sending big hugs too though that just does not feel enough and i dont suppose it is, i do feel for you,but its so inadequate sometimes the words we say, i just wish thses things didnt happen to all you lovely girls on here who have had such ,i cant say more im too upset now for you all, love and God bless janette... |
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Posted: Sun Jun 13, 2010 4:17 pm |
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HI Julie,
I've just come on here and read your story i'm so sorry for your loss, I know what your going through hun, It takes time to grieve and you need to give yourself time to grieve.
Take each day as it comes
Love deni x xx |
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_________________
Aug 05BFP mc 7wks
30oct 06BFP IVF Stillborn 42wks 5 days Olivia.
20oct09 BFP IVF mmc 9wks twins
March2010 BFP IVF mc 4wks
April 2010 FET BFN
June 2010 IVF+ FETBFN
 R.I.P Oly x x |
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| Snoflake |
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| Joined: 13 Sep 2009 |
| Posts: 1626 |
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 10:29 am |
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Darling Eleanor,
Mummy is thinking of you lots this week. All my friends are having their babies right now - and i know you would have been here by now.
Instead, all i have to remember you are some photos and precious memories of our too short time together.
The summer has been warm, and we should have been going for lovely long walks with your pram along the river and pier.
Its been more difficult to go and see you lately, as the overwhelming sense of loss and emptyness i feel when i look at your tiny grave swallows me up.
We are buying you a lovely maple next week and sending some pink lanterns up when it gets dark - i hope you see it from your cloud.
Love and kisses always
Mummy xxxx |
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| Hutchy |
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| Joined: 30 Aug 2007 |
| Posts: 2506 |
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Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 9:21 pm |
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Big Hugs. hope you are coping ok... I know how hard it is for you right now.....
Hutchy xx |
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_________________
TTC-10 YRS
Jun05-Nat-Rup Ect. Sep07-IVF-BFN, Mar08-ICSI BFN, Aug08 FET-BFP M/C 9 wks, Feb09 FET-BFN Aug09-ICSI-BFP Archie born too soon @ 19 wks 26.11.09 |
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| Robbo2 |
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| Joined: 14 Mar 2007 |
| Posts: 1150 |
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Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 10:36 pm |
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Hi Julie
Massive (((hugs))) to you and DP and just wanted to say thinking about you both.
Take care
Robbo xx |
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| Snoflake |
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| Joined: 13 Sep 2009 |
| Posts: 1626 |
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Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 10:18 am |
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Thanks Girls,
Not been on other thread much - doing a bit of wallowing  Will pop over soon.
Hutchy - big hugs to you honey - I know just how hard things are for you now, and i really appreciate your kind words.
Robbo - thanks hun, xx
Julie xx |
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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 1:27 pm |
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Julie - Thinking of you at this difficult time x
Nicky x |
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| Snoflake |
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| Joined: 13 Sep 2009 |
| Posts: 1626 |
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Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 6:32 pm |
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Well its been 6 months since we said goodbye to you my love.
In some ways it seems longer, and others only yesterday. I am having issues, and feeling guilty about trying again with your sibling frosties - although we have planned now for Jan 2011.
This year has been so bad - we lost you, and your great gran 6 weeks ago, then 2 weeks ago we lost what could have been your sister or brother, and i lost my remaining tube too
The unfairness of life makes me so mad sometimes......
I miss you every day, and when i see new babies in prams it makes me flinch. Im not jealous, i'm just sad for what should have been.
Love Mummy. xxxx |
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| Robbo2 |
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| Joined: 14 Mar 2007 |
| Posts: 1150 |
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Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 10:26 pm |
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Just wanted to send some (((hugs))) your way Julie.
Robbo x |
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| ShellyM |
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| Joined: 19 Aug 2004 |
| Posts: 1712 |
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Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 2:04 pm |
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| Sending you big (((((hugs))))) Julie xxxx |
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_________________
6 x BFN
08 DE Spain - BFP!
Jun10 Nat miracle, Noah born asleep at 15 wks
Dec11 Nat Mir mc 6wks
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Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 11:09 am |
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Julie
I am so sorry. Know how you feel.
xxx |
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Rosemummy
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Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:40 pm |
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| Julie you really have been through so much in such a short space of time - though I know you don't need me to tell you that. I just wanted to say you're in my thoughts and i'm sending you a great big cyber hug, oh if only they could be real hugs, there are many of us that could do with them i'm sure. Take care xx |
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Please be my turn!! TTC far too long!
Rct M/cs incl. Dyllan @20wks & Nafisa-Angel @16wks. Born with angel wings - Too perfect for this world. |
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| Snoflake |
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| Joined: 13 Sep 2009 |
| Posts: 1626 |
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Posted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 5:59 pm |
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Thanks so much ladies,
every cyber hug is special - the ladies on this forum know how awful it id to lose a baby so special, especially when its so much harder through IVF - its just not so easy to try again.
Now i have no tubes, i have no choice.
Julie xx |
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| Snoflake |
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| Joined: 13 Sep 2009 |
| Posts: 1626 |
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 11:41 pm |
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Thinking of you today my love.
I read my notes and there was your name - so you did exist - in black and white on your own blood test.
The tears surfaced as i remembered things i didnt want to.
Then I remembered how beautiful you were and I smiled.....
Love you forever Eleanor, whatever comes next.
Mummy xxx |
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| Snoflake |
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| Joined: 13 Sep 2009 |
| Posts: 1626 |
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 10:29 am |
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We had your sibling embryos replaced yesterday my love. I hope you dont mind me trying again and giving them a chance of life?
I feel a bit guilty, but I hope you are watching over them.
Love Mummy xxx |
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 11:32 am |
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Julie
Eleanor will be watching and praying. She doesn't mind you trying again, she would want you to be happy.
Big hugs and tons of sticky baby dust.
Rosemummy xxx |
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Rosemummy
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| Robbo2 |
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| Joined: 14 Mar 2007 |
| Posts: 1150 |
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 11:09 pm |
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Julie
You have nothing to feel guilty about and I'm sure Eleanor is watching over you all. Sending PMA and sticky dust your way.
Robbo x |
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| Snoflake |
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| Joined: 13 Sep 2009 |
| Posts: 1626 |
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Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2011 12:35 pm |
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| Thanks Rosemummy and Robbo. Xx |
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| Snoflake |
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| Joined: 13 Sep 2009 |
| Posts: 1626 |
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 11:47 am |
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Hello Eleanor,
well the FET didnt work - and i feel like ive lost you all over again. The hole in my chest that was starting to heal is open again.
But being the stubborn mummy I am, I feel I just cant give up! Although i felt i really had no choice about trying with your frozen siblings, maybe in hindsight it wasnt such a good idea. I was so torn. It felt that i had to give them the chance of a life - but i am wondering whether they never had a chance?
There are so many what if's going around my head. I wonder if the zona was too hard from freezing for them to hatch out of - I did everything i could to try and make it happen, i do feel a bit let down by care. Nothing like this was ever discussed with me. I suppose they didnt want to culture 3 in case they had none to transfer.....
So many Q's - that will never be answered. SO angry....again.
Love mummy. xxxxx |
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| ShellyM |
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| Joined: 19 Aug 2004 |
| Posts: 1712 |
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 12:30 pm |
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Julie,
sending you hugs, i suppose we're in the same boat at the moment, email me on ml_mccoy@hotmail.com if you need to chat or add me on fb
Love
Shelly xx |
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_________________
6 x BFN
08 DE Spain - BFP!
Jun10 Nat miracle, Noah born asleep at 15 wks
Dec11 Nat Mir mc 6wks
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| Snoflake |
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| Joined: 13 Sep 2009 |
| Posts: 1626 |
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 12:45 pm |
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Thanks Shelly -
I never let myself think about it failing. Did you? I was so sure it would work.....Such a horrible sinking feeling when only one line comes up.
Have added you on FB.
I do feel guilty too. We already have children (2 boys together) and children from previous marriages. Do feel pretty greedy wanting another, when all I really want is Eleanor back
Love julie xx |
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| Robbo2 |
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| Joined: 14 Mar 2007 |
| Posts: 1150 |
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 9:37 pm |
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Julie/Shelly
I'm sorry you're feeling so down and totally understand everything that's going around in your head Julie - I'm sure Shelley has similar things whizzing around too.
Don't feel guilty for wanting more children - no one who doesn't have fertility issues do so why should we feel any different.
As I said to Shelley - give those precious children extra big hugs tonight.
Big (((hugs))) to you both
lol Robbo x |
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Posted: Sat Feb 26, 2011 12:00 pm |
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I'm sorry Julie.
Big hugs from me
xx |
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_________________
Rosemummy
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| Snoflake |
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| Joined: 13 Sep 2009 |
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2011 2:34 pm |
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Thank you Rosemummy and Robbo.
I'm having a bit of a wobble about treatment and the fact also that Eleanor's birthday is rapidly approaching 3 weeks today......it feels like a crushing weight coming for me.
I'm trying to exercise more often to increase the endorphines (so i'm not so sad) and i'm worn out so at least i'm sleeping.
Missing Eleanor even more now the FET failed - and i hoped so much one would stick.... I just dont understand why I'm being punished so much. Its not like I believe in god - so i know its not that. Anyway, maybe the ramblings are helping me make sense of the cr*p that life dishes out. |
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