CARE Fertility Bulletin Board

leepooh · 12 Apr 2010

I hope they come in 3's hun yea i cant wait to start college lol xxx

Hel75 · 13 Apr 2010

Leeann,
I agree, noone should feel selfish for how they are feeling, its painful for everyone whatever their situation.
Sorry your mates have pissed you off, i'm avoiding the ivf topic with most of mine coz their 'advice' however well intended winds me up at the moment, most are either pregnant or have had kids whilst we've been trying so dont they can understand the feeling we have, thats why this bulletin board is so bloody addictive!!!!! Know they all care and mean well...
Hx

leepooh · 12 Apr 2010

I know what you mean hun but one friend that has pissed me off has been thou ivf and got a gawjasss little from her first go.

I just think everything is pissing me off at the mo lol in one of those moods i think lol.

Leeann xxx

Hel75 · 13 Apr 2010

That must be really hard for you... Think i'm bit that way out at mo too. xxx

starbright · 10 Jun 2010

Hi all. Lovely to see everyone on here again

Sorry Wibbly you are feeling down.
I at the mo am still feeling quite positive but I think it is because I am keeping myself busy and am making plans so i have little things to look forward to. We have our review on Sept 22 so not long and then I think I should get started sooner reather than later. I am worried though as I have a hydrosalpinx and they say that it can reduce IVF chances so i wonder if I need my tube clamped or removed now IVF didnt work first time,,, Also worry that I have got frozen blasts if they needed to go back in their natural environment on day 3, even though they say blasts increase implantation rates ( which mine obviously didnt) and then i worry about am i rejecting them.. Sooooo many questions and no one can give the answers. I really want to keep the attitude 'what will be will be' and am in that frame of mind at the moment, but I know that wont last. It is great having this forum because I agree, noone really understands those feelings of pain, helpless etc xxx

leepooh · 12 Apr 2010

Hey everyone

Hope you feel better wibbly we all have off times but then we all have good times too it is the hardest thing to had to go thou and other women think its so easy they take the eggies and then put them bk and thats it they dont in to count the emotional side of it or how it possibly feels to go thou something like ivf. I am so thankful to all you ladies you have helped me so much i dont think i would of been able to get thou this without you all.

A close friend off mine went thou Egg share too she had twins but sadly 1 died at 5 hours old and the other 1 is now 1 year old I know it get to be had losing a child but they told her he would of been brain damaged so she had DNR on his records I know i probably sound like a heartless cow but she has lttile jack to think about and all she talks about is Connor (the one that past away). I know until i have been thou it i cant image what she has been thou but Jack would be my main focus or is that me being a heartless cow.

I know the little eggies didnt implant but the were inside me for 2 weeks and i was pregnant until proven otherwise. I know they didnt implant but i still grived for them little eggies and i a pic of them.
Dont know really what im trying to say.

I talk to her but she cant know how i feel cos it worked first time for her and i know she lost her son but she has got 1 son and he is adorable.

Thank you everyone for all the support. just think its a shame that we will never meet in person unless we find out which clinic everyone is at and there is a few of us at the same clinic we should wear name badges with our screen names on which i think would be funny. lol
ok moan over now

Hope everyone is doing ok
Night all

Leeann xxx

Hel75 · 13 Apr 2010

Hey Leeann,
It definitely is like grieving when you get a BFN, and youre right others just see it as eggs out/back in, and dont realise what an effect it has on you emotionally.
I always think when i'm sat in waiting room at Care, wonder if any of these women are the ones i speak to on BB!!!!

Starting to feel bit better now and have decided i'm definitely going to ask about counselling at the review. Back to work Monday and maybe getting back into a routine will help, but at same time stress of sorting time off for appointments etc!!!!
Hope everyones okay and enjoying the weekend.
Hel xxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi girls , how are you all ? Everyone seems to have gone quiet on this thread x
Shazza, how have u got on? Was today your official otd ?

Nicster x

shazza1 · 21 Feb 2009

Hi Nicster,

My 16 days OTD was officially today, but the nurse at Care said i can test yesterday and they would take that result.....it was negative as i thought it would be. So i stopped my meds after i rang them yesterday morning after i did their test.

I am fine today though thanks, feel alot better, got my review next week so will have a word about when we can cycle again with our 2 last embies.

How are you doing???

sharon xxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi Shazza,

Sorry to hear your news, even though you know what the result is going to be its still tough facing the finality of it. You are so lucky to get a review so quickly.

Im not too bad, its weird really because last week I was ok with the thought that we may or may not try again and that the review wasnt until the 4th oct, I felt like i needed that breathing space, but today I,m starting to get that panicky feeling that I want to do it again now ! I wish it was that easy, its just impossible to raise so much money so quickly.

Nicster

shazza1 · 21 Feb 2009

Nicster,

I know how you feel hun, once the emotions have settled down after a few days, we see things in a different light. If only it was as easy as just getting yourself emotionally ready to start again......but its always the financial aspect that bites us on the bum.

For us we would have another FET so only Â£1000 (well not ONLY but you know what i mean lol) if i had to save up 5K it would take us aaaaages and i would be too old hee hee.

If you really put your mind to it and start saving and cutting down on things its amazing how much extra a month you can save.
I have already started on a massive project to seel unwanted items on Ebay and i am getting DH to do a car boot sale next sunday....every penny counts eh??

Sharon xxx

wibblywobbly · 09 May 2010

Evening girls. How are you all?

Shazza, i'm with you on the ebay selling drive - have to raise funds for whatever is going to happen in the future. Sorry about OTD hun. xxx

We just back from a couple of days in Cardiff, was really nice and relaxing. Off work tomorrow too, so that'll mean only a three day week this wee - yippee!!!

shazza1 · 21 Feb 2009

Hi Wibbly

Glad you had a nice time in Cardiff, hope the break did you good...and an extra day off work too.

Its so time comsuming ebaying, but so worth it when the pounds start coming in.

Hope everyone else is ok.

sharon xx

betsy1 · 15 Aug 2010

Hi all

Sorry I have not been on for a while, we were away for the wwekend which was great and really gave us some time to chill out and reflect on the past month. We realise just how lucky we are to have each other and are now able to really start looking ahead to our next attempt.

Nicster- as for your bleeding between cycles questions mine will be 3 bleeds, first the BFN bleed, 1 clear bleed and then the bleed whilst on the injections.

We have our review on 22nd Sept so same as you Starbright, we will then start injections on our October cycle (end of October for us) meaning EC/ET will be last week of November/ first week in December (hopefully we will have something tio celebrate by Christmas!!!!!)

I agree with you all about the grieving and I was very much of the opinion that I wasregnant until proven otherwise. I it awful that money does have the overall rule however equally not sure how many times I could go through it emotionally either (anyway hope this time works for us all and we don't need to worry about that)

Nicster- have you ordered your Menevit yet?
Wibbly- I agree with you that anything is worth a go, not sure if it will make a difference for your DH might be worth asking care but as you say in the grand scheme of things Â£50 is a bargain if it does any help at all.

Really please this chat has been started as I started reading but not responding to the provios one it was getting harder and harder with more and more BFP's and although I was delighted for them and they were all really great about everything, felt like a bit of salt in the wounds.

I have the friends issue as well where a close friend has tried to be really supportive however equally she is the person I am finding it hardest to be around at the mo as she has a son of 14 months old and is 6 months pregnant!!!!!

We will get there girls lets keep positive xxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi Girls,

Think Id have to sell one of my kidneys on ebay to raise the five grand we need ! Oh well who needs two kidneys anyway !!

How you feeling wibly, you sounded so down last week, are you feeling any better? Bet cardiff did you the world of good.

Betsy, I agree its amazing how a few days away can really recharge your batteries. Thanks for that info about the bleeds. We have got our review on the 4th Oct, I would love to think we could start again that month, I know its financial suicide but im thinking of getting an interest free credit card otherwise got knows when we could save up that amount of money.

Havent ordered the menevit yet, hopefully going to do it tonight or tomorrow.

Good luck with the ebaying Shazza, is your review tomorrow?

Nicster

x

Stella Star · 24 May 2010

Hi ladies,

Can I join you please?

I was so pleased to find this thread, as I am going through similar feelings as all of you.
After our first cycle if IVF I know my little one implanted, but I lost it before test date. I kow you may ask yourself how does she know, but I do. Anyway, I dont want to go into details because it still hurts, but officially treatment was unsuccessfull. I can only compare the way I feel to when my dad died. Never thought it can hurt so much.

I feel so angry and frustrated at times. Have to be very carefull not to upset people I care about.

I did eggshare so had only 1 embie to put in, and I really hope, that the donor got BFP as It would make me feel that what I did wasn't wasted.

This IVF brought some things to the surface, and I am having some tests done through NHS (thanks to my lovely GP). I am so angry with St Marys at Manchester for the way they handled my case. I just feel I wasted 2 years of my life battling with my weight (by the way I am 'only' size eighteen) to fit into their weight charts. Finally we decided to go private, but what maddens me, that I had no other tests done - I don't know what the state of my fallopian tubes is for example. Anyway, things are happening for a reason. I have date for NHS on 12Oct and review date at Care on 4th.
Does anyone know, if I eggshared and all went ok, am I able to do it again?

Nicster - your post about kidneys - you made me laugh out loud!!! First time in a long time!

I can relate to you ladies, I did my first car boot on sunday (only earned Â£20.00 thought Rolling Eyes

) and feel like selling half of the stuff in our house - know hubby won't let me, but that's how I feel.

I'll have to read about this Menevit bit more.

I hope you are all doing ok.

Love to you all

S xxx

wibblywobbly · 09 May 2010

Hi ladies, how are you all today?

Nicster, i am feeling a little better. I managed a whole day yesterday without crying, but made up for it today as i had a counselling session. It concluded with us at least reaching the decision that we did not want the journey to be over and we agreed that if it ended now, we would always wonder whether we had truly given it everything and that our home and lives would not be fulfilled in the way we want and need them to be. Soooo, off we go again! Note sure when yet, but it is not over yet! Have you ordered menevit yet hun?

Stella - hope the tests go ok for you. Let us know how you get on.

Hope everyone else is ok. xxx

betsy1 · 15 Aug 2010

good for you wibbly.I am so pleased, just give yourself time and then when you are ready to face it all again give it another go. We are all hoping for better results next time so hopefully none of us will have to go through this again x x

leepooh · 12 Apr 2010

Hey Ladies

Sorry not been on for abit not been in a good place but getting there now.

Welcome Stella star I know how you feel about st mary's they wasted 5 years of our life.

Care made me feel great the doctor said to me I have treated women bigger than you i know it doesnt sound nice but it made me feel better.

Hi Wibbly glad you feel like your getting somewhere.

Leeann xxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi Ladies,

Hi Stella and weloome to our thread, so sorry to hear everything you have been through, nobody desrves to be treated badly by the very people that are meant to be helping you especially when you are feeling so vulnerable. Hope you have had a better experience with care. I can understand where you are coming from with your feelings of loss, nobody can possibley understand how you feel unless they have been through it, thats why its sometimes so difficult for the people around us.

Glad I made you laugh about my Kidney !! trust me it might come to that though !

Which care are you at hun?

Hi Wibbly,

I am so pleased to hear you sounding a bit more positive, I was worried about you for a while there. It sounds like the counselling is really going to help. Its amazing aswell how much better you can feel when you make a decision and you feel like youve got a direction. Think youve definately made the right decision. We are hopefully going to order the menevit tonight.

Leepooh,

Hi hun, wondered where you were and if you were ok, keep your chin up hun and try to stay positive.

Hi Betsy,

Hope your ok x

Nicster xx

Stella Star · 24 May 2010

Good morning ladies,

it's so nice to have you to talk to, since it all happened I felt so alone with my feelings. I am not glad that you are all going through similar thing, but I am glad you understand, because you have been through it. I am blessed with very good friends, but it's not the same. And I can't talk to them all the time about how I feel, they would get soon sick of me wouldn't they (maybe not, but that's how I felt).

Hi Nicster, I am at Manchester Care. And yes, they made me feel a lot better. It's sad that it is so expensive, isn't it? I know what you mean...
I have a feeling you could be a good councellor. Every post by you just feels so right. Thank you. x

Wibbly - It must be hard to come to a decision when you say to yourself enough, but sometimes that one 'last time' comes out positive, so we just have to hope for the best. Think its great you realised that you want to have another go. xxx I am counting days now, just want those appointments NOW! Suppose patiency isn't my strong point Wink

I will defo keep you updated. xxx

Leeann - I am sorry about similar experience with St Marys, Suppose you are at Manchester care like me? x Going back to weight issue: when I look around and see lot bigger ladies being pregnant, I think to myself - that cant be the reason. Think of pressure St Marys put on our shoulders to loose weight made it hundred times worse. Living for those years with feeling of being failure just because we will never be stick thin!!! Can I ask you please: have you had the same problem as me - being refused because of BMI?

Enough now - work is waiting!

Hope you all have a great day!

Sending you all lots of love.

Stella xxx

starbright · 10 Jun 2010

Hi all. Nice to hear everyone seems back on track.
Welcome Stella. Glad the counselling is working Wibbly.
Its great having people on here because I sometimes feel like the only person in the world dealing with this then when I read this, I realise that you ladies know exactly what it is like and how it feels and are going through this with me which helps so much. You are right though, no one else really understands what it is like even though they try.
I have been in quite a good place this week but went to Next yesterday shopping for my goddaughter birthday and it was like a kick in the teeth. The place was full of bables with beautiful clothes and I just kept thinking ' will i ever have the chance to buy these clothes for my child'... It makes me feel sick that pain of not been able to work hard and get my dream, having absolutley no control over it. I took a deep breath and left and blocked it all out (thats how I deal with it) and went to Starbucks and sat eating big cake, Life is so unfair to us all sometimes.
Quick question for those who have done a frozen cycle, Can you do it on your natural cycle or do you have to take drugs. The reason why I ask is CARE briefly said that I would start drugs etc but my friend has just got pregnant by having the embryo transferred on her natural cycle with no drugs and it worked. Makes me wonder if all the drugs are too powerful and not natural and it would be cheaper if no drugs were involved. keep positive everyone and thanks for being here.xxx

Stella Star · 24 May 2010

Hi Starbright,
I am sending you big fluffy angel hug!!!
xxx
S xxx

leepooh · 12 Apr 2010

Hey ladies

Yea it was cos of my BMI they said if i was the right weight I would of had treatment there and then.

I have never been a stick and im happy with my weight and hubby loves me for who I am i was bigger when I meet him I have lost about 4 stone and St Mary's still wanted more.

Yea I'm at Manchester too I think the whole care hospital are amazing.

But you ladies are amazing too as all have said it so good to talk to you all and to know exactly know how we all feel.

Im having a treat tomorrow Im having my nails done even thou I can do them myself its nice to have someone else do them for you lol.

Take Care ladies

Leeann xxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi Ladies,

Hope you are all feeling ok today.

Stella, really glad your finding this thread helpful and thankyou for that lovely comment about my posts, maybe I should go for a change of career ! do you think they would give me free treatment if I worked for them as one of their councellors !

Did you say your review was the 4th Oct ? thats the same day as mine, 3.00pm at nottingham, cant wait.

Hi Starbright,

Baby clothes are such a tough one, they get you everytime dont they, you cant help but look around and feel resentful of all those women who can take their fertility for granted and can get pregnant at the drop of a hat.

Ooh Leepooh your day sounds like its going to be lovely, enjoy it hun you deserve a treat.

Nicster xx