CARE Fertility Bulletin Board

DawnA · 24 Jan 2011

Oh Helen poor you. I do know how you feel. Just when you think you've adjusted and can cope, something else comes along to slap you back down. Please don't feel bad for your feelings about others' pregnancies. Its only natural. My friend's partner is pregnant (and they weren't really trying and don't even live together!) she keeps posting on facebook about eating too much or being tired and I can only feel jealous, I'd give anything to be in her place right now.
I think you're being a bit hard on yourself generally. IVF takes so much out of us both emotionally and physically, you can't expect yourself to be totally OK so soon. I had a complete meltdown after Ofsted, even cried on the head at work, I just don't think I'd completely recovered physically and the extra stess and work just tipped me over. You sound in a similar place right now.
Forgive yourself for feeling what is completely normal, cry, shout and stamp if you need to. I know how hard it is to be positive, but I'm beginning to realise that it is impossible to fake it if you haven't let out the negative stuff.
Then tell your DH how much you love him and start to look forward to going through it all again!

Love, Dawn.

jomosh · 03 Feb 2011

Hiya
Helen there's only so much happiness, smiles and congratulations you can give to others, be selfish for a change. I don't think you are being selfish at all. I don't talk to a girl at work because she is pregnant. She is off sick again and I actually feel quite pleased. Of course I don't want any harm to come to either of them but the feeling she is taking the p*ss springs to mind, she already has 2!
I have deleted all my friends who go on about babies and post pictures of feotuses as their profile picture on facebook lol. They can have me back when I post mine Smile

I have discussed with my DH and we have agreed we can start our next cycle on my May AF and as this will be a long protocol I start taking the drugs around 20 days from the first day of AF(?). I am due on the 1st May and I will definately be asking my GP to fund my drugs this time.
Just finish on a funny note, I have had a lump under my chin for weeks and I went to my GP who gave me antibiotics which didn't work, he said oh well I dont know what it is so I'll send you for some blood test, full count, iron and thyroid. A couple days ago an advert popped up on my email headed 'is your cat making you ill?' so for a laugh I had a look and lo and behold I now know what the lump is. It's called cat scratch disease and no-one will believe me. The symptoms are swollen lymph nodes especially around the neck area and occur in people who are immunosuppressed so when I go for my blood test next week I will tell my GP that this is what I have and I need to have all the blood test relating to ivf immunology. Lol if it works I will let you know so you can tell your GP you have this and want nhs funded bloods taken for level 1 at least.
Laughing

Speak soon
love to all
Jo xx

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

Thanks girls, Im sure glad its the weekend!!!!!!!

Hope everyone has a good one!

Love Helen xxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi Ladies,

Ooh helen it sounds like youve been having a really tough time, dont feel guilty, never underestimate how much this fertility rollercoaster takes it out of you, you need to get through it whatever way you can and if that is screeming and shouting then thats the way it is ! and dont feel guilty about feeling bad about all the pregnancy news around you, you wouldnt be human if you didnt have a range of emotions, hurt, jealousy, envy frustration, life is just not fair but remember hun the journey isnt over for you, you are going to cycle again and you need to concentrate on that, focus on getting yourself physically and emotionally strong and believe that it is going to work.

Hope you are ok dawn and looking after yourself.

Good luck with your cycle in may Jo, Ill be looking out for your BFP x

Hope all you other lovely ladies are doing ok.

AFM the rollercoaster has started again, Im on my hormone tablets till saturday then got to wait for AF then start stimming, scared to death of going through all the hurt again, I have a panic attack every time I open the fridge and see the HCG injection.! Oh well what will be will be x

Lots of love to all of you x

Nicster

jomosh · 03 Feb 2011

Hi Lovely Ladies
I rang CARE yesterday for my protocol and pending my smear test results will be starting on my next AF which should be 3rd May.
I can't believe it is less than a month away, I'm very nervous and need to lose a shed load of weigh quickly so I have embarked on Rosemary Conley's solo diet with the promise you can lose up to 15 lbs in a month. As the weather is getting better I have started walking up the big hill from the village to my home and will start swimming next week when my red hair dye won't streak behind me in the pool. I have a pilates machine and a power plate too that I need to start using. Oooo I'm excited Very Happy

Is anyone else thinking of a May cycle?
On a slightly more serious note however, when I had my smear on Tuesday the nurse noticed some small white spots on my cervix and told me I should get them checked out by the doctor, she said she had never seen anything like it before and I was not to worry. Has anyone else had this pointed out to them or know of what it could possibly be? Should I ring CARE and ask if it could be a bi-product of the treatment? Confused

Speak soon
Take care all
Jo

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi Jomosh,

Glad things are moving along for you and you know when you are cycling again, its very exciting but flaming nerve wracking aswell ! Good for you trying to loose wait, not heard of Rosemary Conleys Sole diet, whats that all about ? As you know Im on the rollercoaster already, but I cant believe how much weight id put on since the last cycle and just cant seem to shift it, do you think the drugs do something to your body that makes you put weight on ?

Havent heard of white spots on the cervix, im sure its nothing to worry about but probably best to ask the doc anyway.

Lots of love to everyone

Nicster x

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

Thanks Nicster for your words of support, I am starting to feel alittle better now mother's Day is out of the way and the pregnancy and baby news has finally sunk in! Still catch my self feeling alittle down but on the whole im feeling better. I went to see my new niece yesterday, I mangaged to keep my emotions in check! She was absolutely beautiful!
Could'nt get her off my mind today though, thinking when will I be able to have a beautiful baby like that? When will it be my turn? Or what if it will never be my turn?
NO got to stay positive! Its so hard though! Nicster so pleased you are back on a new cycle, I will keep an eye on your journey, Are you on a new cycle buddy thread?
Good Luck Girl I REALLY HOPE this is the cycle you've been waiting for, I have everything crossed for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jomosh - Not long for your cycle either, It seems to have come round so fast! And i'm still waiting for my review! Because its with George its been such a long wait, I'm not bothered though, dont think I'd be ready emotionally to cycle again yet! Good Luck to you girlie, and Good luck with the weight loss. I've not heard of spots on the cervix, but like Nicster said just run it by the doc. xxxx

Take Care

Hope everyone else is doing ok,

Helen xxxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi Hel, so glad you are feeling better hun, thankyou for your good wishes, yes I am on a thread called started short protocol today anyone want to join me, its on cycle buddies, there is only two of us on there but its lovely we seem to have loads in common so ill be on there until the dreaded 2ww.

Please feel free to stalk me, I need all the support I can get !

Have you thought anymore about when you might start again ?

Nicster xx

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

Hi, yep found you so I shall be stalking you haha xxx

Not really thought about when we will try again?! Keep hoping for a natural miricle but I dont think thats gonna happen! Just focusing on our review in may with George and get our immune tests done, then see what the outcome of those are, and I suppose it could be August/ Sept time? depending on the financial side too!

Helen xx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Just think May is only just around the corner and they do say that George is a bit of a miracle worker, I have never seen him for a consultation but he did my first ET which was a BFP and we saw him after the scan to, he is lovely, the only problem is he's very difficult to understand, take a pen and paper and write everything down. I know what you mean about the finances, think the immune cycles really bump the price up but I definately think its worth it.

You got anything nice to look forward to ? are you going on holiday ?

Nicster xx

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

yeah going away to the lakes for the first week at Easter so cant wait for that! Roll on friday when we break up woo hoo Wink

xxx

Helen x

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

That sounds lovely, I love the lake district, there's just something about it that's relaxing and makes u feel a million miles away from everything x hope you have a fab time Hun xx

Mrs Boz · 06 Jun 2010

Hi Nicster

Just to say that I'm stalking you on the other thread as well - I really hope you get good news this time.

I've decided to wait and cycle again at the end of May as I just didn't feel ready for it this month and my body certainly wasn't!!!

It's my wedding anniversary this Thursday - 4 years and it's the first time that I've felt sad about it, thinking that we've been trying for four years. Still me and hubby have booked to go away in the caravan to Scarborough Thursday - Monday so that we have something to look forward to and I really can't wait. We're both so excited and just can't wait to get away for a few days and chill.

Will keep checking on you to see how you're doing. Good Luck and take care of yourself.

Mrs Boz
xxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi Mrs Boz,

Lovely to here from you , Stalk away hun, its nice to know people are looking out for me and willing me on.

Sorry to hear you are feeling down, its understandable though, think we underestimate what this IVF does to us. It must be so hard aswell knowing that youve been trying for so long, it sounds like your in such a lovely loving relationship it seems so unfair that the two of you havent been blessed with children, I truly believe your time will come though hun, your totally doing the right thing by waiting till you feel ready and im sure it will work next time, you deserve it.

Hope you have a lovely time in Scarborough, fingers crossed you get some nice weather xx

Take care, thinking of you.

Nicster

Pinkrose · 06 Jan 2011

Hi Ladies, Hope your all well, Not had chance to look at all the posts yet not been on for ages..

quick update on me... Was sent the provea to start my period off..but we decided to a weeks holiday at the end of March then take them on my return (went to cuba it was lovely) so we had it all planned out when we were going to start and how April would be the month etc etc... but can you believe it..on the plane guess who joined us with no warning Aunty bloody Flo!!! I didnt have anything with me!!!

So now I have to wait for 6 weeks before I take the provea (which the 10h May seems like a lifetime away!!!!) The dh was guttered because it was me who talked him into the holiday he wanted to do the ivf first..i was in big trouble..but hey if I had of wanted it it wouldnt of come would it!!

So once again more and more and more waiting.. and every direction I look pops up a new baby bump!! haha.

Will have a catch up on all your old posts and hopefully be back on here soon xxxxxx

Pinkrose · 06 Jan 2011

aww Mrs B just read yours about you feeling sad on your wedding aniversary..and I soo know how you feel..I am exactly the same..I went to my nephews 1st birthday party the other day and felt like a social outcast I was the only women not chasing around after a child ..I felt the biggest lump in my throat and like I was standing out like a sore thumb..horrible ..but then felt guilty because it was my gorgeous nephews big day and I was bringing it back to me.
Also cried drunk on a complete stranger about 5 weeks ago and made a total fanny of myself!!
xx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi Pinkrose,

Sorry hun only just seen your post on here, your right, bloody sods law about af turning up at that time ! May will be here in no time hun and this time will be your time, I just know it, Ill be looking out for you starting your cycle.

Take care hun xx

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

Hi everyone

I have felt alot better since going away, dont feel so stressed and trying to have a more positive point of view of life! You have to dont you other wise you spiral down into the dark. Saying that though still feels hard when I see my brothers baby, but I put a good front up now. Dh's bruv found out they are expecting a baby girl so that made my feel abit strange too, even though it had to be one or the other didnt it haha!
Hope you are all doing ok? It's my review at long last on tuesday, I feel alittle nervous about it, I dont know why? And if it's because it's with George? I'm sure it will be fine and he will say the usual, that I was unlucky etc! I will be asking about the immune test's etc so get that ball rolling xxxx

Take Care all

Helen xxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi hel, thankyou for the lovely post you sent to me on the other thread, they were really kind words. I haven't really been on the site it's just so raw, it's been a tough few days and no doubt a few more ahead anyway I came on to see how you had gone on today ? Can't wait to here your news x

Nicster x

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

Hi everyone, Hi Nicster its bound to be raw matey hope you are holding up ok xxx

Well I went for my consultation today with George and basically he went over our last failed cycle, He said that our last cycle was much better than our first with a good embryo to put back but unfortunately not ending in a pregnancy, he said we need to concentrate on trying to get more eggs, embryo's etc to give us a better chance of it working, and to hopefully get some to a blastocyst stage? He said that with a slight change within the protocol then this could be achieved?!

I asked about the immune test's, but George said that there is nothing to indicate that we need the immune tests doing, and he said he would'nt bother doing them and would rather get on and do another cycle, But he did say it was our decision and if we wanted to have them done then of course we can have them done.
So I feel abit in two minds about them now?!
I just think if I were to have another cycle and if it failed again without having the immune tests I know there will be what if's.
So I feel if I had them done at least my mind will be at rest knowing I've covered everything. I think I was just expecting him to say yep the immune tests are definitely the way to go! and that did'nt happen so it feels like im going against George's proffessional opinion if I do decide to have the test's done!
What do you guys think?

Helen xxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

It's so tough is t it, you gear yourself up for definate answers and unfortunately you never get them ! The only thing I would say is that George is an expert in immune stuff and if you've got nothing to indicate immune issues would you just be wasting your money ? It's such a difficult decision isn't it x what does you dh think ? X

Nicster x

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

He think's that we should have the level one test's done through GP and see if those bring anything up, and if they do then have the level two's done. So at least we wont have to pay anything out initally! So i'll probably just go along with that. Got to wait for George to send the info through anyway.

Helen xxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Will you be able to get them done through your gp ? X

Nicster x

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

I Think so, got to go and see GP and see if they can do them xxx

Helen x

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Good luck, that would be fab if they would pay for them and if that's the case then I'd definately have them done. Get urself a gp appointment booked and good luck Hun x