CARE Fertility Bulletin Board

jomosh · 03 Feb 2011

Morning all you lovely ladies.

Arw nicster I love that description - 'snow babies'. Lol if any of them implant successfully they will be xmas/jan babies anyway. I'll forever call them that even if they don't succeed.

I read somewhere that the statistics that Simon gave you were generally well regarding in most clinics for successful blasts although percentages are not good if you are on the other end of them.

I had 16 eggs recovered of which 14 fertilised (via icsi) but only 5 developed in blasts. 2 which were day 5, grade 2 blasts (my last cycle) and 3 day 6 blast (don't know what grade they are).

Stella, I had a dream last night after reading your post about you DH. Mine left me for one of my mates, he jumped on a number 92 bus to Birmingham (?) and told me he was getting the 252 to Huddersfield which is where I ended up with a group of treasure hunters. Bizaare aren't they dreams?

Jojo - Oooo Mr Lowe was my first too and I developed a crush on him so I am a little upset he can't be there for my 2nd lol. He did tell me off though for going home on a motorbike after my EC.

Sorry I miss people out (I don't mean to) but know I always wish you all the very best and hope you are having good days.

Love Jo xx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Oh Jo, youve made me laugh with your post, love the bit about hubby jumping on the number 252 bus, and you going home on a motorbike after EC, what are you like ! mind you ive come to the conlusion that if it is going to work its going to work whether you wrap yourself in cotton wool or just get on with your life ! Well I know im no expert but I think you stand a really good chance next time round, Simon pretty much said to me any embryo that made it to blast stood a good chance of making it to a viable pregnancy, so heres to your christmas snow baby xx Do you know yet when you can start again jo ?

Nicster xx

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

Hi all,

Nicster - I know they are being honest with you, but hearing that it is just down to luck is the last thing you want to hear!! Everything seems positive with you though, the number of eggs and eggs that fertilised was a high amount so probably would be next time, I wonder if they would let you have 3 embryos put back like JoJo as it would give you more chance of getting a BFP! Stargazer on the other thread had 3 put back and now she has one lovely heartbeat, and now with JoJo getting a BFP I suppose its something to consider?! It wont be long until you start again, (fingers crossed) I really hope it works out for you next time. xxxx

Pinkrose and Stella - Hope you are both ok, not long until your reviews xxxx

Mrs Boz - Hope you are ok, when is your review? xx

AFM - I've felt alot better over the last couple of days, still having down moments but im trying to tackle them! I went out all day yesterday with my friend, had coffee, went for lunch, and then in the evening we went to rollerworld, rollerskating for my other friends birthday, with all her kids! I have'nt skated since I was a kid myself so I was abit nervous, But after afew wobbly curcuits I seemed to get the hang of it! I would never even have thought of going rollerskating but we all had such a laugh, I felt like a teenager haha! And thats how I want my life to be, full of fun and having a good time! We even stopped off for a pint on the way home! Loving life or what!!! Yesterday reminded me that life is all about living and not for just getting down all the time and moping about, and thats how I feel like I've been over the last few weeks! I know the days ahead are'nt all going to be like yesterday and some days I will probably feel down, but I want to try and look towards the positives and start enjoying life again!
My review feels like it is along way off so all I can do in the mean time is be positive, enjoy life and enjoy natural baby making and not getting too stressed over it!

Lots of love to you all, and sending you all some positive vibes.

Helen xxx

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

Sorry Jomosh I missed you out! That made me chuckle about you getting told off, about getting on a motorbike after EC hahahaha!!!!
You have a fantastic chance next time chick, with having some blastocyst snow babies left, are you going to have two put back again next time?
Have you had your review yet? when are you hoping to go again?

lol

Helen xxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi Helen,

I think youve hit the nail on the head there, life is about living, we need to make the most of things and thats exactly what we stop doing when we get so caught up in this IVF rollercoaster, I know everyone keeps saying how important it is to have PMA when we are going through it but I just wonder if we could have more of a fun laid back approach to it, would it stand more chance of it working ? you hear about women who are trying naturally and it doesnt work, then they decide to stop trying and it works !almost like because the pressure is off it happens ! who know maybe im talking rubbish and I know its all easier said than done !

Funny you should say that helen about having three put back because that definately crossed my mind, problem is I dont think they will do that until I actually hit 40 (not sure though it might be worth asking) Its mad isnt it, I was adamant last time I only wanted 1 put back because I was so sure it would work, now Im adamant next time I want as many put back as possible ! what am I like !!!

Anyway, another bit of positive news, last time my drugs cost me Â£710.34 going through care, Ive had a bit of a shop around today and for the same drugs (minus Ultrogestan, ive got enough of those left from my last two cycles) ive got a quote for Â£586.95, that includes delivery, all the needles and sharps box, well over Â£100 cheaper. If anyone wants the details of the company let me know.

Nicster
xxxx

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

I dont blame you wanting as many put back as possible, I definitly would have more if I could! Both of my cycles ended with just having one fertilised embryo to go back because of my low egg reserve so I think I would be lucky if I did get two to put back!
Wow that is a big saving and every penny counts when your in this game, Yeah let us know the company xxx

Helen xxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi Helen, it's central homecare and the number is 01420540521 x

Nicster x

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

Is there a website? x

Helen xxx

Mrs Boz · 06 Jun 2010

Hi All

In a bit of a rush tonight but just wanted to let you know that my review is 9th March - 2 weeks today so not long to wait.

Good to hear that we're all beginning to pick up again and get on with life. I don't know how I feel - OK if I'm honest and then I think 'should I be feeling like this', 'should I be more upset' and then I think I've got lots to do what with going back to work so I've not really had chance to think about it. Not really cried yet either, the odd few tears but nothing much - thought I would feel a lot worse then I do!!!

Sat eating a big bag of Cadbury's Mini Eggs because I can!!!!!

Sorry to dash. Will come back on when I have more time.

Take care all.

xx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Yes, if you just google it it will come up, must admit I didn't look at the website much, I just found the contact number and called them x

Nicster x

DawnA · 24 Jan 2011

Hi to all, hope you don't mind if I join you, I know some of you from 2ww.

This was my first IVF cycle and I feel like I've been put through a mangle! All I can do to cope right now is keep myself busy. I'm a teacher and on half term, so am decorating our bedroom to give me something to do! However, that only deals with the days, nights are another matter altogether. I know that a lot of people had insomnia during the 2ww, I was fine then but its certainly hit now. I'm really struggling to sleep (hence the late post!), and I find myself putting off going to bed because I can't bear lying awake with thoughts about what might have been.

I know what you guys mean about being surrounded by pregnant women. Two of our closest friends have recently announced pregnancies (half way through 2ww - great timing!) Its tough to cope with, people seem to lose thier sympathy after so long - they don't seem to understand that the feelings don't go away.

Sorry to ramble on. Its good to know there is support out there. Since initial messages of sympathy from family and friends at the weekend, I've not heard from any of them. I guess they don't know what to say.

jomosh · 03 Feb 2011

Hi Ladies

Hey Dawn good to have you here. It was my first cycle too, didn't you think it was going to more than it actually was? It's a lot of waiting around and injecting yourself and at the end it's a great big anti climax. I was expecting more tears and more feelings than I had. maybe it's my age and I've resigned myself to be childless so when I got BFN it wasn't a huge surprise.

Nicster & H&K my review is this afternoon at 4pm with Mr Sedler at Manchester. I have been trawling the internet for questions to ask but not sure how relevant they are but will ask anyway. One of the questions I want to ask is whether to go for 2 blasts again or have 1 each for 3 cycles. The percentage of success for women under 39 is not a great difference with 1 or 2 blasts. It equates to about 63% success with 1 and 64% with 2. Although I am 40 I can't see a huge drop. I'll update you later on what was discussed and when I can start again. My poor DH needs a new exhaust for his bike but that will have to put on hold for a few more months while we pay for our next cycle.

Mrs Boz, with me it's Haribo's and Pontefract cakes. The whole bag in one go. I've really got to swim them off x

Best get back to work so I'll update you all later.

Love to all
Jo

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Afternoon everyone,

Sorry mrs boz, I must have missed your post when I went on last night to reply to Helen, do you know what, distraction isnt a bad thing, its good in a way that youve been kept busy and have managed to cope with everything, maybe its because you know you are going to try again, dont beat yourself up hun, everyone deals with things differently.

Welcome to out thread Dawn, I,m so sorry to hear about your BFN, noone can prepare you for how your are going to feel and I know what you mean about peoples sympathy easily running out, its amazing how quickly people expect you to get over it, what they dont seem to realise is its not like other people who can just try agin next month and the month after and the month after, our attempts are in single figures and the costs are in quadrulple figures ! Have you got a review appointment booked ? which clinic are you at ? are you planning on trying again ?

Hi jo, good luck with your appointment hun, look forward to hearing all about it x

How is everyone else doing ?

AFM, been for a manicure this morning, feel a bit fed up this morning and cant seem to shake it, trying so hard to do things to take my mind off IVF but its not working very well. As i said in a previous post DP had promised that he would think about another cycle, he still hasnt actually agreed to it, in fact after the review he said that he felt like we would be throwing good money after bad in light of what Simon Fisher said about it being purely down to luck ! He made a couple of comments last night that made me think he really doesnt want to do this again, I darent broach the subject with him again just yet but I think thats set me back abit in terms of my positivity, oh well fingers crossed x

Nicster x

Stella Star · 24 May 2010

Hi ladies,

Welcome to thread Dawn. That's what we are here for - to help each other with our rambling on... Smile

I am sorry it didn't work out for you. As Nicster said, nothing can prepare you for that dreaded BFN. Unless you go through it, you don't know. I know what you mean about people and them not knowing what to say. my inlaws haven't been in touch since the day I told them about result. I know they are giving us space to deal with it and waiting us to call them, but bit of symphaty would be nice. I am lucky to have a friend who is amazing and offers her shoulder to cry on without any expectaions back. (god bless her)

Jo- I am really waiting what you come back with. My appointment is with Mr Sedler too (on monday) Hope it went well. xxx

Nicster: I am sorry how you feel, but Ithink I understand you. Just since last BFN I am trying to come to terms with an option of being childless. I know we want to have another go, but I am just trying to prepare myself for anything. I know it is very hard, and you don't want to hear that you already have a child, enjoy your family etc. But that is it. Enjoy your beautifull family. I know that no matter how many kids you already have, if your heart is craving for more, those are the words you don't want to hear. Nothing can easy the heartache of a BFN, no matter if you already have a baby or not. I am hoping from the bottom of my heart, that your hubby will share your craving with you and that you decide to go for it, but you need to put on scales what you've got, what you could have, and what you could loose. That's why I am thinking - do I want baby so much, that I am prepared to leave my husband (cos if next go won't work, that is it for us, he doesn't want to adopt.) and go through adoption myself? No sure if I'll have strength to do it on my own. It is so much that goes in my head, that it feels like exploding sometimes. LOL XXX

Mrs Boz - hope you are ok. And hope those cadbury's eggs did you good!!! xxx I had some crisps the other day - something I never do...

Sending lots and lots of love to everyone.... we all need it.

XXX Stella xxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Your right Stella, I know Iam so lucky to already have two children, my mum and my partner keep telling me that ! i just wish I didnt feel like this, its crazy that even after having two children that the craving for another child can be so strong if not stronger. I feel very selfish that I am even compaining about how I feel when you lovely ladies are still strying to achieve your dream for the first time, and that breaks my heart for all of you. Im sorry for moaning on, maybe I do need to just appreciate what I have.

My advice to all of you is that nothing but nothing comes close the the love you feel for your child, not even the love for your husband, so dont give up, no matter what it takes or what the price, never give up on your dream.

Love to you all x

Nicster xx

Stella Star · 24 May 2010

Hi Nicster,
You made me cry. It is just that I don't know how it feels. I hope I ever will. Then I will be able to understand you 10000%. You are not selfish, you are just following your heart. I wish I had your strenght. It takes a strong person to follow their dreams despite all obstacles. xxx

Sending you lots of love. xxx
x

E&B · 23 Feb 2011

Hi Ladies,
I was wondering if I could join you please? I know Iâ€™m a bit late to the party but really feel in the need of talking to some people who are in the same boat as me.

I have been following you all from the cycle buddies thread and was absolutely devastated for all of you as one by one you got your BFN. Have always been too scared to post anything before but too scared not to now as I think Iâ€™ll go mad if I donâ€™t speak to someone who is experiencing the same.

I hope thatâ€™s ok.

My story so far is: Natural pregnancy in 2008 with previous partner which ended in a MC at 9 weeks which was picked up at my 12 week scan. I got together with my DP later that year and we started TTC in March 2009. Found out in 2010 that he has a low sperm count and then found out earlier this year (at my 1st consultation at care) that I have PCOS. Started 1st ICSI in Jan and out of 15 eggs collected 8 fertilised and then only 1 went on to blasto. Had 5dt on 12th Feb. Started bleeding on Tuesday which has turned into full AF yesterday. DP works away in the week so feeling very alone and very numb. Canâ€™t quite believe that all the waiting and meds, scans etc have come to nothing. I need to test tomorrow (my OTD) and then can get a date for review.

Sorry to go on. Your posts have helped me so much already and Iâ€™m going to follow in Nicsters footsteps and get as much info as I can. Have ordered the Zita West books. Anyone else know of any other books which might help?

I know some of you have been through this a few times now and feel a bit of a fraud to be feeling so crappy after only my 1st attempt. I hope I get to cycle with you all next time round and we get lots of BFP!

Stella and Nicster Iâ€™m glad to hear your DH are being a bit more supportive now. All this does put massive strain on relationships. My DP went through it 3 times with his ex-wife and all failed and it ended up splitting them up. We are trying to not let this happen to us.

Iâ€™ll stop rambling now.

Lots of love to you all

Em
xx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Oh em honey I'm so sorry for what u have been through, u have done absolutely the right thing coming on here, it does help, as you are probably well aware by now nobody can possibly imagine what u r going through unless they have been there themselves x it's very early days for you, the first couple of days are the worst, it does get slightly easier each day and in my experience it helps to focus on moving forward and believe your dream will come true, order your books Hun and get as much info as you can and focus on your review oh and talk to us as much as you want to, we are all here for you x take care x thinking of you x

Nicster x

E&B · 23 Feb 2011

Thanks so much for the lovely welcome Nicster. I do actually feel much better just knowing that there is somewhere I can come and talk about my experience with people who really understand.

I told my boss today that we'd been through this and that it hadn't worked and I couldn't believe how insignificant it sounded. Just like we'd gone to buy a car but were out bid. I wanted to tell him about all the gorey details, scans, injections, EC and ET and how I was convinced I was going to pee on the consultant!! I wanted to say how every minute of the last 2 months and esp 2 weeks had been agonising and how devestated we are that it's not worked for us but I just held back the tears and was matter of fact about it. You are so right about nobody being able to know what we are going through.

I do feel positive though and this thread is helping a great deal with that. I really feel that being part of a support network will get me through. Maybe also one or two large glasses of wine!! I've actually started making a list of all the things I can now do - like drinking, go back to spinning, have a mcflurry, eat lots of chocolate! Not liking that I can now do the housework again though! Laughing

I hope everyone is doing ok. Thinking about you all and sending lots of love

DawnA · 24 Jan 2011

Thanks for the welcome and Hi to Em - you'll be glad you've mustered the courage to post, I was sceptical at first but have found it a life saver.

Nicster, in answer to your questions - I'm NHS funded through Nottingham (but in the Derby satelite which means most of the scans and appointments are done at Derby and I just go to Nottingham for EC and ET). I've got a review appointment booked for the 14th March and hope to start a frozen cycle ASAP (I've got 5 grade 1-2 embryos frozen). I want to do it all as quickly as possible as I don't know how long I'll be able to keep strong enough.

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E&B · 23 Feb 2011

Thanks Dawn. I think this is just what I need.

5 grade 1-2 frozen embies is just fab. Have been reading about lots of sucess with FET.
I hope all goes well at your review, can't wait to get a date for mine.
Hang in there hon. Do as Nicster says and just keep believing that your dream will come true. Got to try and stay positive (which I know is just so hard).

I hope you sleep better tonight

tiger777 · 26 Apr 2010

Hi all

Sorry to butt in on your thread but just wanted to let Stella know that I've been thinking of her, haven't managed to get on here for ages, have had other stuff going on but finally got here. Stella, I am so sorry to see you've not got your dream this time around, I really did have everything crossed for you. Having read some of the posts on here I can see you've had loads of support. Hopefully your review will give you some answers and some hope for another go.
Will be keeping up with you on this thread now. Xxxxxx

jomosh · 03 Feb 2011

Hey guys

Went to see Mr Sedler yesterday and although I had a BFN last cycle he said as a whole we had to look at the cycle has a huge success. The reason I had so many eggs collected was down to my PCOS as the hormone given off by this creates more eggs per cycle anyway (Don't know whether I heard him right so I may be rambling). Anyway long story short he is sending me out my new protocol and I should be able to start my next cycle at the end of April. He has prescribed a long protocol this time where they use drugs to 'shut off' the ovaries (can't remember what it was called) but he said that because of my PCOS I was more receptive to this treatment and coupled with the fact that I have Blasts this should give me a greater chance of success. We had the debate about how many blasts to put back, 1 or 2. The % for success with 1 blast is about 50% but with 2 it rises to 65% although then you have the issue of multiple pregnancies by this time I had stopped listening to him lol x
All very positive!
Now the sad part, I was suspended from work yesterday because of some vindictive ex colleague who has named me as being the reason why they couldn't do their job properly. If my company knew I was posting this I would probably be sacked on the spot however I am not allowed to talk to anyone about it from work so I'm sorry that you ladies have it....
I'm proper mad and depressed, can't stop crying because this person knows I am going through IVF. How can people be so cruel. I probably won't be able to save up for anymore treatment now so this person has their wish of taking me down with them and more as this affects my whole life not just a stupid job. Oh by the way, this person has 3 grown ups kids of their own....
My DH has been amazing, he made me look at our finances last night and it proved we could afford to life without my wage so I was not to worry and if the worse came we could survive. It would however mean no further treatment for a while until we saved.
Gosh sorry for going on........

Em do you hve any frosties? If so my news will hopefully spur you on (the good news not the bad). Welcome by the way.

Stella hope you have time to spare because apparentley Mr Sedler over runs his consulations because he likes to talk. I suppose you could call him thorough lol. We were an hour late going into our appointment with him though. On the flip side he was a lovely man and very knowlegeable and encouraging.
Anyway gone on for long enough, love to everyone and I'm off to look for a job now.

Wishing you all luck
Jo

DawnA · 24 Jan 2011

Oh Jo, I'm really feeling for you. It never rains but it pours hey?! Try to be positive - you've been suspended, not sacked! Are you in a union? If so, they can provide some fab support for people in this sort of situation.

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

Mrs Boz - 9th march not too long then eh, and i'm glad you are looking forward. xxx

Dawn.A - Hi, How's the decorating going? Sorry to hear you are not sleeping well.
I know how you feel about family and friends, I have three brothers and only one of them have spoke to me about my failed IVF, I think they just dont know what to say and dont want to upset me, but I actually do want to talk about it and want to feel like they do actually care, and I know they do deep down, its just when they dont even mention it you feel like they dont! I just know if the shoe was on the other foot i'd be asking them straight away, so it just frustrates me.

Jo - How did your review go chick?

Pinkrose - How are you hun?

Nicster - Hope you enjoyed your manicure! Sounds nice x I have my fingers crossed that DH comes round to wanting another try! xxx

Stella - Good Luck for your review on monday, let us know how you get on. xx

Em - Hi, Sounds like you have been through the mill hun, and dont feel a fraud, you have been through this like all of us, it doesnt matter that its your 1st attempt! it still hurts like hell!!
I am thinking of getting the zita west books, I have a relaxation CD and that helped me during my cycle!
My DH had a low sperm count under a million but at EC theytold us that it had gone right back up to the normal range of 21 million! DH has been on wellman conception vitamins,you can get them from boots or any health food shop. and also Omega3 tablets.
My acupuncturist gave us loads of advice about diet - Eating nuts/seeds and raisins, especially walnuts and brazils are good for male fertility apparently. Eating fish at least once a week, Cut out alcohol eek! haha hard i know for a man! Cut out caffine but my Dh just cut down on that! Porridge/muesli or egg on wholemeal toast to start the day is supposed to be good! Obviously your 5 a day of fruit and veg, and we were having innocent smoothies.
He also cut down on exercise as too much is'nt supposed to be good????!!! But all this must have helped to get his sperm count back to normal.
Get me with all the advice! think my middle name should be zita haha xxxx

Helen xxxx