CARE Fertility Bulletin Board

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

sorry Jo missed your post, I am so sorry to hear about your Job situation, what a nasty person your colleague was to do that! Especially at this time in your life! But Dawn is right you have'nt been sacked and would be worth talking to your union if your in one?! On a positive note, Your reveiw sounded really good! xxxx

Take Care

Helen xxx

Stella Star · 24 May 2010

Hi Ladies,

Welcome to thread Em. I think Nicster and Dawn said it all. I just would like to add, that first go I think is hardest as you don't know what to expect. So be kind to yourself, let your feelings heal. It will take time. I am glad you have joined us, as this really is place where we are all on one boat. Some of us will jump onto another boat that will take them to the port of mums, some of us will never get there. It would be good to know why or how to jump onto the right one - if we only had some crystal ball pointers... xxx I have received Zita Wet book from lady who had her BFP this month and to be honest, I find it best. West is the best!!! (sorry attempt to be funny...) Anyway, I have bought different book as wanted to save money, but shuld have just bought Zita West one from the start. xxx

Nicster - how are you doing? Sending you lol. xxx

Tiger - Big Thank you for your message and for thinking about me. xxx I was thinking about you. What are you up to? R u startying treatment soon? LOL XXX

Jo - I am so sorry about your job! I hope you get it sorted, defend yourself. Speak up! They should hear your side of story too! Keep my fingers crossed for you. xxx Thank your for your message re appointment with Mr Sedler. I have never talked to him other than before egg collection, and he seemed to be very sensitive. So hope we will get all our questions answered.

Helen - I put my hubby onto wellman conception too and his count went from 7 to 15. So not bad. xx Hope you are ok .xxx

Dawn - I have few friends who only had babies from FET cycle. So not long now... Bet you can't wait. xxx

Pinkrose - r you ok? xxx

I am up and down - it only takes som silly little thing that i see or hear and I crumble and have to get myself together. Feel like alien at work, as I think that noone understands me. But think that I might be doing that to myself. I just want time to roll quickly, but at the same time, I know that there is a lot to be done. has anyone got something nice plan for weekend? I am just going to do what I want, what makes me feel good. Sorry DH - but you have to put up with me for a day or two... Smile

Sending lot of love to everyone. xxx

E&B · 23 Feb 2011

Hi All,

Just wating for DP to come home (how I love Fridays) so thought I'd drop by and see how you all are. I'm just pleased to have made it to the weekend as it means that one of the worst weeks of my life is over. Time to move on.

Jo - you review sounds like it went great, I'm thrilled for you. April will be here before you know it. So good that your DH is being so fabulous too, it is what you need at a time like this and esp as that cow from work is being so horrible. I hope it all gets sorted out. Definitely speak to a union. I hope she gets what she deserves! I don't have any frosties which I was quite upset about but hopefully we'll get some next time so we can use them for siblings (fingers crossed!).

Helen - Thank you so much for all your advice! It's just what I need. We are going shopping tomorrow so will get lots of things for DP to take! He'll love that he has to cut down on exercise!! The lady I have had the Zita books off said that she took co-enzyme Q10 - have you heard of this? My sis is going to Oz tomorrow and so I've asked her to get me some Menevit - has anyone heard any success from using it? I hope you are still feeling positive hon.

Stella - I love the idea of the port of mums. If only we could book at the travel agents! From what Jo says you'll be in good hands with Mr Sedler so that is great. Good for you doing what you want this weekend. I think we all need to take a leaf out of your book and just be nice to ourselves and do whatever we want. Oh do we all deserve it!

I called care today after having to waste a test to find out what I already knew and was told the review would be in May. I said 'I don't think so' and they managed to get us in with a new lady on the 8th March. I'm so pleased.

I hope all you ladies have fantastic weekends and pamper yourself up to the max. I'm doing retail therapy and we are getting the train so we can have a few drinks and a meal later - just like we used to do before we started all this. We are going to enjoy just being us! It might all end in tears but we'll see.

Thank you all for the lovely welcome you have all given me.
Lots of love to you all

becca321_old_timer · 07 Oct 2010

Hi all

I have been stalking your thread for a few days and would love to join you all for some support.

A little bit about me and my dh; we had my first failed ICSI, ODT 4th Feb but started bleeding 4 days before our test date, I previously have had 3 failed IUIs followed by a natural ectopic preg which resulted in both tubes being removed. DH has reduced morphology.

I seem to have accepted our BFN now and am waiting for my review appointment at notts (not until the 23rd March) ;( but as I will have to have another fresh cycle I hope this will not delay the start of our next cycle which I guess if I have to have two AF will be end April. I guess my first proper AF will be any day now although I have been spotting every day since the BFN (and yes I have doe several tests to check and all BFN) Notts must have a big wait compared with other clinics ;( as you all seem to have had your reviews much sooner. I live in derby too dawn but have decided to travel to notts of the whole lot. have any of you had spotting since the BFN?

I have decided to take control and have level 1 immune tests ( had them today ) done through my friend who is a Dr so not costing me Wink

only one left to do is the karotype test on DH which we will get through care. I have convienced myself that I have a clotting disorder (no other reason)!!!! This is because the only time that I got pregnant after 3 yrs of TTC I took asprin!!! I need to do this for my mental well being rather than medical. Also I have a pharmacology degree and so have also read that ectopics can be due to the embie trying to hide from the immune system. Knowledge is not power in my case but more cause for worry!!!!!!

I have also put DH on menevit (which is a supplement that care recommend from Oz) so he is doing his part to help our chances next time.

I have also been researching where is the cheapest place to source drugs for our next cycle central homecare are by far the cheapest as they do not pay VAT on their drugs here is the website http://www.centralhomecare.co.uk/Home/fertilitydrugs/tabid/75/Default.aspx if any of you ladies want to look into using them. I work in the pharmaceutical industry and some of my customers use this service and they are very good.

I am looking forward to our next cycle although also wishing my life away !!!!!! The end of april cant come soon enough !!!!!!! As we only were allow SET last cycle due to being PCT funded I am hopeful with DET and my age that it will work PMA!!!!!!!!

Sorry for such a me post but wanted to introduce myself!!!!

Jo - sorry to hear about you job situation ;( thats horrid !!!!!!!!!! As if your life is not stressful enough.

Becca

XXXXX

Stella Star · 24 May 2010

Hi ladies,

Becca - think this thread is getting better and better!!! Nice to have you here.
Seems you have been through a lot - with your ectopic pregnancies on top of everything. Sorry about the pain you went through. xxx
Answer to your question - no I haven't been spotting, but hormones can cause havoc in your body. If you are not sure, just check it with hospital. I would. (I am sure you have).
Now - from yur knowledge -what is Menevit please? Is there big difference between Wellman conception? Where can we get Dr friends like you??? Wink

Em - glad you managed to get in earlier. Good for you. xxx you made me laugh - travel agents - That would be great, wouldn't it? Laughing

Hope you have a great weekend. xxx enjoy retail therapy and let your hubby spoil you. xxx

Good weekend to everyone.
LOL
xxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi ladies,

Great news from your review jo, that all sounds really really positive, sorry to hear about your work situation, some people are just so selfish and dont stop to think for one second how their actions impact on other people. Sounds like your DP is lovely though and very supportive, men like that are few and far between, sounds like youve got a good one there x chin up hun and just think a better job might be just around the corner x

Helen its lovely to hear you sound so positive, great info on nutrition x

Stella, sorry to hear your still feeling so down hun, try to spoil yourself over the weekend, you deserve it x

Em, hope your having a lovely night with your DH, you go girl, its pays to be assertive, just think if you hadnt then you'd have to wait till may for your review. Who is it with ? I'm at notts too (simon Thornton) you can start your next cycle after youve had one proper period, so basiclly on your third not after your third, if that makes sense. My DP took Menevit and to be honest it didnt seem to make much difference to count, not sure about quality, our fertilisation rates were better than the second time but the same as the first time (and he wasnt taking it then )

Hi Becca,

welcome hun, so sorry what youve been through, its just so tough isnt it. you sound like my kind ok lady, taking control and being proactive, loving all the info youve put on your post ! think the bit i put above about cycling after your first proper period should have been for you x

Hope all you other lovely ladies are ok.

AFM - not the best for me, DP has been in a terrible mood the last couple of days, I would say bordering on depression, we had a conversation about it today and he really doesnt want to go through another cycle. A few home truths came out, he feels like I have been selfish and our relationship is about what I want ie: another baby. Why is life so cruel and complicated xx

Lots of love to you all x

Nicster x

becca321_old_timer · 07 Oct 2010

Stella

Thanks for your post yes I phoned care and they said that it can happen in some people I did get my dr friend to do a hcg today though just to make double sure!!!! As the spotting is just like with the ectopic !!! But I did get a positive test with that.

Menevit I think is like wellman. I'm not too sure what the difference is and don't know much about wellman. Menevit is from
a company called bayer it has. A few clinical trials behind it and I think care recommended it me as it was the one with all the right concentrations of vitamins in it. If you google menevit you should be able to read about it. You can only order from oz but mine only took 4 days. As for a dr friend not sure I can help there !!!!! Lol!!!

Hope that helps

B xx

Stella Star · 24 May 2010

Nicster - I am very sorry. Honestly wish I could be with you and give you big hug. xxx
some men just don't get our need to have babies in our arms. Maybe he needs bit time to come to terms with everything. I know how time is pressing, but why don't you say to him that you give him time to calm his feelings down and then talk about it. I found out, that if I talk to my hubby straight away, he just shuts himself down and gets depressed. So I am leaving him and we will talk about everythink next weekend - he is on lates next week so won't have time to discuss our monday appointment before weekend. That is - I will be going on my own as he can't get time of. Sad

After our last go I wanted to do it again immediately, I talked immediately and it caused lot of bad feelings. I wish I had magic wand and made it all better. Hope lol I am sending you will help a little xxx

Becca - thanks for info - will look it up x

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

Hi everyone,

Em - I have'nt heard of the co-enzyme Q10, do you know what it help's with?

Becca - Glad you have decided to join this thread, well you have been proactive, my review is'nt till may and was waiting for that before asking about the level one and two test's, but I see you have'nt waited, its good you have a DR friend to help you out! It will certainly move things along quicker for you. Thanks for putting the central homecare web site up too, will definitly be looking into cheaper drugs for next cycle. xxx

Nicster - Oh i'm so sorry to hear about your hubby, sending you a big ((((HUG)))) I too wish I could wave a magic wand for you, I really hope with time, he will change his mind! Sending you lots of love xxx

I'm feeling ok, went out last night drinking to let my hair down which was nice, but was with all my friends who all have children, so of course the subject get's onto baby/child related issues, which is fine but I just dont want to hear about it at the moment! (I know its selfish) It's not their fault as none of them know i've just been through another failed cycle, and it didnt help that we saw another old friend out and she was discussing her kids and was saying bet you've all got kids now eh! I just wanted the floor to swallow me up! And felt all the uneasy faces look at me ahhhhhhhhhhhhh oh well!
I'm back at work tomorrow so i'm dreading that, but I know it will get me back into a normal routine!

Hope everyone else is ok

Helen xxx

Stella Star · 24 May 2010

Hi Helen,
Sorry your evening didn't go to plan. It is not sefish, to fel like that. You just went through big thing - IVF is a big think in our lives and it caused heartache. It's them who should be ashamed for not being considerate - that of course if they knew. If they didn't - there is nothing we can do to protect ourselves other than not meeting people. And we can't do that. Think after you are giving big hugs to everyone here - you need one too : so ((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))) - that big xxx

I had two glasses of vine last night and I was drunk! I had them on empty stomach, and after not drinking for so many months - well, what shall I say. they just made me cry - so that will teach me lesson - bnot to drink.

Hope you all had a nice weekend.
LOL
xxxxx

becca321_old_timer · 07 Oct 2010

Helen - yes I didn't want to wait until my review as
I think the tests can take 6 wks also I knew they would say it was down to luck
!!! But I needed for my metal wellbeing to do them and I don't want to get to 3 failed ivfs before them
suggesting them!! I do will level 1 now and level 2 also if the next one fails!!! Sorry to hear about your night I have one colleague at work who always goes on about me getting pregnant and how wonderful I will
look pregnant!!! I don't get on with her that well so I didn't tell
her about my recent ectopic and failed ivf. I wish she would just shut up!!! I could tell
her so she is more considerate but I don't see why I should have to share my secrets with someone I don't like and it is none of her business!!

Nicster- sorry to here that your dh is not coping well!!! Big hugs to you, let's hope time heals for him and you and that he feels strong enough soon to start another cycle.

Stella- I know what you mean about the wine I did the same last night and just ended up going to bed at 10 half drunk
half feeling sorry or myself!!!

Hope eveyone has had a good weekend.

Sorry for the extra returns in my post, I'm on my iPhone at it's not that easy to type!!

Becca

Xx

E&B · 23 Feb 2011

Hi All,

How are you? How were your weekends? I hope you all had good ones.

Hi Becca, great to have you here. So sorry to hear everything you have been through. You sound so positive though and are really taking control of it all which is great. Thanks so much for the info about cheaper drugs - every penny saved helps! I've heard quite a bit about the immune tests now and am unsure if I should have them or not. Any advice ladies?

Nicster how are you? How is your DH doing? I do hope that things are a little better. Would he consider counselling? Sometimes it can really help. I know what boys are like though - they just retreat when things get tough. It's so frustrating. Big hugs to you hon.

Stella how did you get on today? I hope it was good. Sorry that you had to go on your own. Were you ok? Did you get some answers/info that helps? I'm not so sure what to expect really. I guess there are no reasons or answers. I hope you had a great weekend anyway hon and did lots of things you love.

Helen - How was work today? I hope you got on ok. My Zita books arrived on Sat and I am currently ploughing through and making lots of notes. The Co-enzyme Q10 is recommended to be taken by men and women as it increases blood flow - I'll let you know more the further through the books I get. I so know what you mean about friends with kids. I'm keeping myself away at the min. I feel like being anti-social and just spending time with DP so that's what I'm going to do!

AFM - my DP and I had a great weekend. He is now taking everything from the vitamin aisle in Boots and Holland and Barrett! He'll turn into a squirrel the amount of nuts and seeds I have him eating! Had a good time shopping on Sat and went to the pub on the way home but I didn't feel like having a drink. I had one on Fri and it just made me sad. We had a nice long walk on Sunday and booked 4 days away at the end of March. I can't wait. I'm liking just having a bit of time off and being me.

Anyway I have a banging headache so am off to bed to watch Glee (my guilty secret!) and to try and sleep.

Lots of love to you all

Stella Star · 24 May 2010

Hi girls,

I feel tired, devastated....

Appointment with Mr Sedler - well, he is very nice man, I have to say.

Basically I was told, that quality of eggs reflects my age. And he suggested this new treatment - Array something, (where they screen eggs and make sure that only healthy ones are used - as sometimes embryo that looks 100% and is grade 1 can be genetically completely not healthy, and sometimes embryos that are lower grade can result in a healthy baby) which would cost Â£2300 more. So looking at a hefty 7-8 grand for whole lot.
When I told this to my DH - he was depressed. I told him if he wants to find someone else - I'll understand. I am fed up and tired.

Sorry ladies for going on, but feel very down.

xxx

E&B · 23 Feb 2011

Oh Stella lovely I am so sad for you. I am sending you loads of hugs and love.

It is such a blow to hear this news and I am shocked that just because you are 35 your eggs would be of lower quality. You are only 35 for goodness sake! The new treatment sounds like it would help but Â£2300 is such a massive amount of money and we all know so well that it's not grown on trees.

Have you and your DH had counselling? If not would you consider it? This is all such a massive strain on life, emotions, relationships etc and sometimes we all need a little bit of extra help. I would really recommend it, if not for both then definitely for you. Or maybe reflexology? My friend had that and she said it was just like counselling and helped her not only feel better but actually improved her fertility too.

It sounds like you two need to work together on your relationship first and then decide what to do about the future. Before me and my DP started all this we were on really rocky ground as the constant monthly disappointment and mechanical sex life had taken it's toll. Thankfully this whole process has brought us closer together but we still feel the need now to take some time to try and get back what we had before this all started.

I know how hard it is to pick yourself up when you hit such a low ebb (as I have suffered with depression for many years) and I know that you probably won't be able to believe this at the moment but I can assure you that the sun is still shining behind the black clouds and you will see it again. Hang in there Stella. Be nice to yourself and selfish and do things that make you feel good. Forget about the rest of the world as they can take care of themselves.

I don't know if I'm helping or not but please know that I am thinking about you and I am sending all my love.

Take good care of you
Lots of love

Stella Star · 24 May 2010

Hi Em,

Thank you for you message. I am in a sort of a shock and just can't talk about it to anyone. If I start, I'll just crumble. Feel very fragile.

Everything you posted agrees - as I said many times before, only person who has been through it understands.

Thank you.
XXX

Hope everyone is doing ok.
XXX

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Stella,

I am so sorry for what you are going through it must have been awful for you, I can understand how you feel because my failed attempts have I think been down to my egg quality because of age. I asked my consultant about the array chg and he said it was only for women that had more than ten eggs, its amazing that different clinics say different things.

I can imagine what you are going through with your Dh, it puts the most unimaginable strain on a relationship.

I have purposely stayed away from the bulletin board because its just too painful at the minute and I have been going through a really bad time at home, me and Dp are almost on the verge of splitting up, I just cant see a way forward, he is adamant he doesnt want to go through anymore treatment and I just want one more go, more for closure, I really dont have much faith that it will work. i feel so jaded at the minute, I am questionning everything, work, home, family, friends, just feel like packing up and moving a million miles away.

I really havent got the answers honey I,m as disalusioned as you.

Lots of love to everyone else and sorry I havent posted, just didnt want my negativity to rub off on you

Nicster

Pinkrose · 06 Jan 2011

Hi Ladies...

I have just had a really quick scan over the thread..not been on for ages just have not felt strong enough..We all have to help each other on here and I just have not had the strengh.

Nicster and Stella I really hope you can sort things out with your partners..its such a horrible thing for any relationship to go thru so its not surprising it causes such strains.

I have my review next Thursday the 10th so feel a bit helpless till then, so just been throwing myself into work and been taking full advantage of being able to drink on the weekends!! feel like my life has been on hold for ages and still is till my review..want to book a hol but dh wants us to have review first..just wish I had more frozen embries (got one)I would have them all put back in.

Cant remember who posted it but they said that when they told there boss about the ivf it sounded so unsignificant and thats exactly how I felt when I old my boss it hadnt worked..I feel like screaming at everyone how much I have been through mentally and emotionally.. but as always life goes on doesnt it and people are every day going thru worse than us.

dont know what to do next time do I take 2 weeks off work and not move from the bed wrap myself up in cotton wool or do I go straight back to work and carry on try and do what Nicster suggested and not obsess over it..just not sure all I know is I dont think I could cope if it fails again..I take my hat off to you ladies that have sone this many times..tough cookies!
dont get me wrong I am so desperate I will go on forever but just know how?..I have a friend who I know is pregnant (I can tell) but I know she is scared to tell me cuz she knows what ive been doing with this ..I want to tell her its ok and she derseves it and I am soo happy for her..just wish we could of been pregnant together..she had a miscarriage so cant ask her will have to wait till she is ready to tell me.
Anyway was only coming on to say a quick Hello to everyone, and nearly wrote an essay...I will pop on after my review.

I hope you are all well and that thoses of you who are having bad times at the moment get thru this , the support from each other really does help..I just dont feel strong enough at the moment, an I dont want to come on and sound selfish by just writing about myself all the time..like my post so far haha.

take care all xx

becca321_old_timer · 07 Oct 2010

Stella - sorry to hear your review did not go as well as you expected. I was surpised though that he said it was down to your eggs as your only 35 !!!! If it gives you some hope though some of the people who I cycled with were over 40 and they got BFP and I got a BFN and I am only 29 !!!!! Maybe it was just luck. With regards to the array I am in two minds, part of me thinks is this just cares money making excerise after all they are a private business in it to make money !!!!! The reason I say this is I was told this week by my Dr friend that some of the level 1 tests (the expensive ones) are so rare that it would be highly unlikely to be this and he felt if I were NHS they could never be justified on clinical grounds!!!!!! the other part of me though thinks if you have the money then go for it as it may save you more heartache and disappointment in the future which would be worth every penny !!!! If only someone had a crystal ball !!!

Nicster - sorry to hear that you dh is still struggling, I think men are just not as strong as us women and take more time to adapt and move on. Big hugs to you xx

hope helen and em are doing ok, helen are you like me counting the weeks until your review!!!

Pinkrose - good luck with your review on the 10th.

AFM - I have now started by 1st AF after my failed cycle after 3 weeks of spotting ;(!!!!!!!!! I even got my dr friend to run a hcg test to ensure that this was negative as was convienced I was having another ectopic!!!! I am hoping that this silly spotting will stop after this. Well I guess this is one more AF to starting another round. My review appointment is 3 wks today !!! ARGHHH!!!!! the waiting is killing me!!!! But at least then it hopefully will not be long until starting DR again. I have some of my level 1 back, all normal Wink

!!!!! Just have to wait for the rest of them now hopefully these will be back before our review appointment. I too have been throwing all my efforts into work although I am not sure it is being noticed by the boss!!!!! the more you do the more they expect you to do!!!!!!

Take care all

Becca

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

H&K · 02 Jan 2011

Hi all,

Sorry I have'nt been on here for a while, I've had a very busy week at work and have come home feeling shattered everyday! I just wanted a bath and my bed each night, so didnt get chance to post. I am so glad it's the weekend!

Em - I am looking into having the level 1 and 2 tests done, but I dont really have any advice! For me its just something else I can rule out and make sure there isnt anything else that is preventing me from becoming pregnant, I think its a personal thing if you want to have them done or not and obviously the cost involved! Confused

Thanks for the info on the co-enzyme 10, interesting. xxx

Stella - Oh Hun, I cant believe the consultant said that about your eggs, surely we are all in the same boat then if its down to age! Did you ask about having the level 1 and 2 tests done? Thinking of you chick xxx

Nicster - Sending you lots of love and really hope you and DH can get through these really difficult weeks, thinking of you hun xxx

Pinkrose Hope you are ok xxx

Becca - Brill news that your level 1 tests came back normal, do you think you will still go on to have the level 2 tests? My review feels like a million miles away! boo hoo xx

Is anybody doing anything nice this weekend, off to the cinema with DH tomorrow not sure what we are going to see yet though!

Helen xxx

Stella Star · 24 May 2010

Hi ladies,

Nicster, I really understand what you are going through, as it seems I am on the same boat. The thing is, my DH is not the man of words and I just can't drag answers out of him all the time. I am tired. Tired of trying to achieve something while he is leaving it all to me. (apart from business in a 'lettle boys room'). If we don't have one more go, I think I would never forgive him, and it wouldn't be worth staying together. So I am delaying that crucial talk until I get letter from care about final decision what they propose next and after I see my GP - as yes, Mr Sedler suggested level 1 tests, so I am going to see if I can have some of them done on NHS. As I am from abroad, I could get same treatment there for lot less money. It's just getting everything arranged. But where is no will, there is no way....
Nicster, think Mr Sedler was right - array HCG is for women who produce round 10 eggs - I had 9 first time round, and 10 second time. As a ED I ended up with half. You can drive yourself crazy thinking about it all the time. It's just a question of where do you draw the line.... How are things with you? Hope you and your DH manage to talk and sort things out. xxx

Pinkrose - not long till review. Fingers crossed. As per your question about staying at home or carrying as normal - best is what feels right for you. But from my personal experience - carry on as normal. I have a colleague who had 3 IVFs (1 ectopic, 1MC and 1 - due in July) - she always carried on as normal and always had BFP. If it is meant to be, it will be. Women all over the world get pregnant not knowing and carry on with their hard work. I know IVF is different, but as long as you are sensible.... I stayed at home this time for a week and look at me... But again - best is what makes you feel happy. Smile

Becca - glad your level 1 are normal, means it's down to luck. Funny thing this luck, init? Smile

Hope time will go quickly for you till review. I know what you mean about cost of array HCG, but then I think I am prepared to do anything what is in my power tho make everything what I can to make it work. If it won't - that will be end of it. So definitely considering it.

Helen - hope you enjoy film today. I know what you mean about being tired, think it must be that our bodies are workign hard on getting rid of all the hormones. I started Zumba class and have had literally to drag myself to it. Felt better after though.

I know what you mean about avoiding BB, I have read all your posts, just didn't have strength to reply.
But look forward to hear from all of you.

Till then xxx

jomosh · 03 Feb 2011

Hi All
Sorry for not being on for so long, I have been keeping up with all of you though and feel heartache everywhere. It doesn't get easier does it, in fact the more time that goes by the harder it seems to get your feelings in check.
I have been for my 'interview' with the suspension committee which went ok so I thought until I got a phone call the same evening saying they were taking the claim to disciplinary!
I am sick with worry, I have infected glands in my throat, spots the size of everest all over my chin due to the infection and can't afford to get the antibiotics because I would rather put that Â£7.10 into a piggy bank for my ivf treatment in case I don't have a job at the end of the week.
I was thinking of going to see a counsellor to get their help in getting my point of view over to the disciplinary hearing. All I have seen from the other interviews are hormonal woman complaining about my behaviour. As if they have any more hormonal problems than me! It's a big joke and I feel I am the huge butt of it.
Sorry for ranting, I needed to get it down in writing so I can relax for the res of the day.
Thanks for listening.
Big hugs to everyone.
Jo xx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi Girls,

As you know I havent been on the bulletin boards very much but ive just had a quick look at your posts and its great that some of you are positively looking forward, I know some of you are struggling, I can understand that. I have been thinking about you all.

Well AFM I have probably had one of the worst three weeks of my life, I can honestly say that me and DP have come to within an inch of splitting up, he just desperately didnt want to go through this again and I did, well the update is ............. my wonderful dp has agreed to give it one more try and for that I will be eternally greatfull. He wants to try again asap so it looks like after I get my AF (due approx 16th March) I can start on the hormone tablets on day 18, scary or what ! I know I sound negative but i really dont think it will work but I cant have closure until I have tried just one more time.

Just panicking now that Im rushing into it and not giving my body enough time to recover. What does everyone think.

Look forward to hearing how you are all doing and when you plan to start again.

Good luck for the review tomoz mrs Boz.

Nicster xx

Sending you all lots of love

Stella Star · 24 May 2010

Hi everyone,

Nicster - Oh - I am so happy for you. Glad you and your DH managed to talk things through. I can understand how you feel - when you say that you are thinking negative. It's hard to be through so much heartache. You become bit skeptical. You never know - this may be it. Smile

If I were you, I'd wait bit longer between cycles. Let your body have a little break. It is a lot of money so spend just like that. You need to give yourself best chance. But that's my opinion. At the end of the day, Care must know what they are doing, and if they let you cycle so quickly, it must be ok.

Jo - I am really sorry for what you are going through! Just want to let you know, I am thinking of you.
Keep my fingers crossed it gets sorted.
LOL x

How is everyone getting on?

I am looking into option of having treatment abroad. My DH - well, seems to be willing to talk bit more.
My MIL upset me on sunday - told her about the outcome of review and treatment cost - she just blurted out that its 'a waste of money' ! I was so upset. If she got grandchild at the end of it - whe wouldn;t say that, would she? Never mind.

Sending lot of love to everyone.
xxx

nicster · 19 Aug 2010

Hi Stella,

God that is so insensitive of your mother in law, I am suprised you can bring yourself to speak to her again !

I am so pleased that you and your DH are also talking about treatment again, theres a good sign. Where abroad are you thinking of ? when do you think you will try again ?

I have just been looking at my dates in my diary and it will actually be almost three months from when I stopped the injections last time to when I will start them this time, so I think I should be ok. Just want to get cracking so I can have closure one way or another.

Love to you all.

Nicster x

Stella Star · 24 May 2010

Hi Nicster,

I understand. Smile

If I had money and heart to go off sick at work for 2 wks, - would want to start asap. BUT - need to save a bit of money - so need at least 4-5 months. I have already made appointment at Reprofit Brno in Czech republic for 2May. We are going to that part of the world for Easter to visit my family. It was recommended to me by many ladies I talked to on something simillar to bb at home. So will see. And it is lot cheaper. I am lucky, I can just stay for 14 days they said it shuld be enough for me to stay there at my sisters. It is about 2 hrs drive from her, but never mind. It will still work out cheaper. Smile

My MIL - I considered her as a friend and shared with her all my feelings. To be honest, something in me just snapped and I know, it will never be the same again.
I gained about 2 stones since my first treatment and feel like I let myself down. She just keeps telling me to starve myself if I have to and gives me as an example one of my friends, who was very overweight and lost loads of weigh - about 5 stone through crash dieting. Now she has a 3 year old boy. But just recently I found out, that because of her bad back they did some tests and discovered she had some broken vertebrae and doesn't know when she broke them. Well - when I think back, she started having those pains 2 years after really strict dieting - and I mean just breakfast and nothing all day, just cigarets. Obviously her body didn't have enough nutrients. I felt like screaming it out to my MIL but she would just think I am finding an excuse. So I just left it. Let her have her say and just smile...

Sorry about going on, Think I needed it out.
xxx