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| Lady B |
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| Joined: 25 May 2009 |
| Posts: 223 |
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 Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 12:10 pm |
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We are meeting our little ones foster carers for the first time in a few days and so nervous. We have been told that they tried to adopt them but got turned away (only because of their age) We are worried now that they wont like us because we are taking away the little ones from them. We do feel sorry for them because they have had them both for 2 years, the little one nearly from birth. But at the same time it is their job and they know they have to release them eventually, we just hope they wont take an instant dislike to us because they wanted to adopt them.
Any advice on how to approach it???? Will a bunch of flowers go down well??? |
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Becky xxx
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| Woo |
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| Joined: 28 May 2007 |
| Posts: 910 |
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 12:21 pm |
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Becky - sorry I cannot give any advice on this as I will be going through the same as well sometime soon.
I think the FC's will have the best interests of the little ones at heart and I hope things go okay for you. I think flowers would be really nice. Best of luck hun, be yourself and everything should turn out fine.
Wendy
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| Mel |
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| Joined: 16 Mar 2000 |
| Posts: 6535 |
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 2:59 pm |
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Hi Becky
Personnally I'd leave the flowers until the last day of intros when you get to bring the children home.
i'm sure the FCs will have been prepared for the chance of not being allowed to adopt the girls due to their age but had nothing to lose by asking. Once a child has been with FC for 12 months, the FCs can apply to adopt and can take it to the courts without SS backing them so if they hadn't accepted SS decision there is a lot they could have done to keep the children.
The FCs know their job is to prepare the girls for their new Mummy and Daddy, this isn't easy for any FC as they will have bonds with the children (if they don't find it hard it would be worrying) and they have their support worker to help them through this. IF you find you are having problems or feel they are hindering intros speak to your SW, SWs should stay in touch with you anyway.
Acknowledge their role and how important they are to the children and what they have done (hopefully) for the children and ask as many questions as you need to. At least meeting them before intros you can break the ice and no one is left wondering who they will be meeting, what they are like etc which works both ways.
Good luck, its a very intense, draining and surreal time and can feel very 'false', walking into someones home and having to 'take over' parenting children they have been parenting is very strange and then you have all the emotional stuff that comes with meeting your new children and you will be exhausted long before intros finish. Focus on getting the girls home and being able to settle into 'normal' life, even the 2nd half of intros when you are based at your home more than the FCs and are alone more will be much easier.
Not long now!
Mel x |
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After years of tx and heartache we are having a family via adoption. 2yr old DS moved in June 08, AO granted 18/12/08 - A Forever Family  Dec 09 starting again for #2 :)May 10 approved for #2...Found our daughter, can't wait to meet her |
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| Lady B |
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| Joined: 25 May 2009 |
| Posts: 223 |
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 3:17 pm |
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Mel - Thanks for that reply, it's made me feel much better I'm sure things will be fine and from what I've heard they are excellent foster carers, i'm just finding the next thing to worry about. I didn't realise they could still go ahead and apply for the adoption without the support of SS. By the sound of it then they have fully accepted the decission because they haven't appealed or taken it any further. They are probably just as nervous as we are. Thanks hun xxx
Wendy - Thanks hun, have you got a date for meeting foster carers yet? Every step is a worry isn't it! xxx |
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Becky xxx
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 3:20 pm |
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Becky,
I've been keeping an eye on things and am so thrilled for you both 
Hope all goes well with the FCs.
lol
Reds
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| Woo |
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| Joined: 28 May 2007 |
| Posts: 910 |
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 3:56 pm |
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Becky - Hi him sorry I was unable to offer any expert advice re FC's. I will be asking you for some advice when my times comes
We are still waiting for dates for FC meeting, Medical Adviser etc - so just a waiting game at the moment - but hey I am getting really good at waiting lol.
Take care
Wendyx |
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