CARE Fertility Bulletin Board

nin100 · 06 Aug 2009

Hello, I'm just starting this thread for anyone receiving donor eggs and starting soon ( I know we have to be vague).
If there aren't many of us, we could always move to the cycle buddies section, but sometimes its nice when its a smaller number of people...
Alice x

curly_girl · 11 Oct 2010

Starting soon! Thanks Nin!! Xx

nin100 · 06 Aug 2009

Have you started Downregging yet Curlygirl? I have my down-reg scan in a few weeks. Hopefully Rusty will join us too...
Its going to be really nice to share this with others in the same situation. I feel so much more hopeful about this cycle, but sometimes I worry that I'm so hopeful. Aaargh!
Alice x

curly_girl · 11 Oct 2010

No, not yet. Only just been matched and cos of Xmas we haven't been into clinic for scans etc yet.
Will be great to have people to share this with.
This is our first attempt at any IVF, DE or otherwise, and I swing between real positivity (this is our piece of good news since we started trying 5 years ago) and feeling like we're destined to never have children. It's been so long I just can't imagine it working so hopefully we can keep one another going! Xx

Rusty · 16 Mar 2011

Hi ladies.
I have been on the waiting list since March and was told they hoped I would be at the top around Nov, only to be told in Oct that it would be Jan Feb. So in Oct I went to Athens and have ED treatment. They were amazing! Unfortunately BFN early Dec. Lo and behold Manchester came up with a donor this week. So here we go again.
I've never had treatment with Care before. I've also had 2 faild IVF with my own eggs at our local clinic down south where we live now (I'm origianlly from up north) But as with Athens I was able to have all my scans done down here.

Curly Girl- take everything in your stride. It's an amazing journey once it starts and Care is a great place.

Nin- I am waiting to hear when I start DR but I anticipate it to be in the next few weeks x

nin100 · 06 Aug 2009

Hello Curly girl and Rusty! So glad you found this post.
So Curly, this is your first ever IVF. If you have any questions or worries, even if they seem silly, please do come and ask me. I've done this 11 times now so unfortunately I am a bit of an expert!
I am very very lucky to have a little boy from my third attempt who is just 6 but trying to have a sibling has been a complete and utter nightmare. I never thought it would be harder to have a second child than it was to have my first. Anyway, I hope it doesn't upset anyone that I have a child already. I know that I am really really lucky and I am greatful every day that I have him but that yearning for a baby is still very strong and painful. This next cycle will be my first with donor eggs so I feel like a beginner again in some ways!
Rusty, I'd love to know more about your cycle in Athens. How difficult was it to do a cycle abroad? Did you have to have multiple visits or just one or two? Where abouts do you live? I'm in Bristol, and we did our first 7 cycles here before moving to CARE in order to have array cgh and immune treatment.

Anyway, welcome to both of you. Hope you both start down-regging soon and looking forward to us all keeping each other company on this new journey

Alice x

fidyro · 11 Sep 2011

Hi

I'm in the same boat too Smile

Currently down regulating, being very lucky to have no side affects so far. I live a fair bit away from Manchester so having all scans locally and will eventually travel back for ET! There seems to be quite a few of us - fingers crossed for everyone xx

curly_girl · 11 Oct 2010

Hi girls,
I've got a question for you, one that my clinic could no doubt answer but I'd prefer to know what you thought too.
I've been diagnosed with POF and am on HRT. I assumed that this meant I wouldn't need any downregging and the clinic have suggested this certainly makes it easier to coincide my cycle with my donors. Has anyone else had any experience with this?
Thanks everyone, and I hope you're all having a nice weekend. Curly Xxx

farmgirl · 27 Aug 2011

hi curly girl - cant answer your query - sorry, I am on the waiting list for DEIVF at the moment. Something you might want to try further down the line is reflexology rather than the HRT drugs(depending on how you are getting on with them).

i have POF, and had no cycle for 8 months, was offered HRT and refused - even though had bad flushes every 45 mins at the time. I went down the reflexology route and got rid of flushes, got my cycle back (more regular than it has been for years) and all without HRT. My FSH's were in the high 80s by the time it was diagnosed and also with no AMH (double boo! Sad

),

Farmgirl

nin100 · 06 Aug 2009

Just a very quick one from me, having a nightmare of a wknd. DH was admitted into hospital yesterday with a collapsed lung. The same thing happened 6 weeks ago and we were told it was unlikely to happen again.
Curlygirl, I can definitly remember my donor co-ordinator saying that when women don't have a cycle and are on hrt it is much easier to slot them in with the other ladies they are cycling with because they can go straight onto the progynova with no down-regging.
Hope I'm not too late with this info.
Welcome to Farmgirl and Fidyro, I'll try to write properly soon. Just want to go to bed now!
Alice x

Rusty · 16 Mar 2011

Evening ladies. So sorry to hear about your nightmare weekend Alice. Hope things get better soon.
Athens seemed to come to us naturally. Manchester had just told us that after 8 months on the list my treatment would be delayed by 3/4 months......gutted!
I was trawling the internet and came across a co ordination nurse from a company abroad.
I don't know if I can mention her company on here or the company????????????????can I?

curly_girl · 11 Oct 2010

Hi Alice,
So sorry you've had such a crap weekend, bet you're glad of Monday tomorrow!
Thanks for taking time out to answer, very kind.
Think that's a good thing isn't it? I should just slot right in there.

Had my hair all chopped off and dyed in order to mark the New Year, New Start ethos.
I look like someone else when I look in the mirror tho I'm sure I'll get used to it.
DH loves it, I look, in his words, FIT, which is nice!
Curly Xxx

curly_girl · 11 Oct 2010

Hi Farmgirl,
Have already started on HRT and have to say that it's really agreed with me; am all about the Medicine!
Not sure I could forsake it, but who knows what's around the corner. Thank you for the advice xxx

nin100 · 06 Aug 2009

Curly girl??? Is that still your name??? Or do you now need to change it to 'fit girl' ?!
Rusty, I'm pretty sure its ok to mention the company on here, other people do. Would love to know more about your experience of DE treatment abroad.
DH still in hospital, although they have now moved him to a different hospital with a respiratory ward. I feel so knackered and drained. Just want him home, well and safe.
Hope everyone else is ok
Alice x

urchin · 08 Jan 2012

Ay up - just thought I'd drop in as I am imminently receiving eggs!

Obviously I can't give dates, but it will be within the few weeks (hope that is vague enough) Very Happy

It has been a long road for us - with the obligatory heartache along the way - but we are both very excited about our first cycle, and have everything crossed that it works

Rusty · 16 Mar 2011

Hi Urchin...good luck with the eggs x x x x x x
Everthing crossed x

Hi Alice....I was on the forum called Fertility Friends and I came across a co ordination nurse from the company Ivftreatmentabroad.com It's a company that you deal with when having treatment abroad. They are based in Greece but deal with clinics in Spain too.
She called me and we spoke for a while and she explained how it all works.
She drew up a treatment plan for me and ordered my prescription. I was able to get my scans done over here through Baby Bond. My doctor was really good (again) and performed all my bloods for me. Greece required bloods to be no older than 6 months old.
From the first phone call with her we were over in Greece 5 weeks later!
We arrived in Athens on the Thursday evening and were picked up by a member of the company as you can book transfers through them. Our hotel was only a 5 min walk from the clinic (they advise you where o stay too) We arrived on the Thursday andon the Friday morning I had a scan and my partner did his sample. We got 7 eggs. 4 fertilised.
Over there you can put 3 embies back in. So we had 3 put back in.
The dirctor of the clinic which is called "Serum" is amazing. She is a real kindred soul and has an amazing personal touch and makes you feel extremely settled and important.
We had ET on the Monday and were due to fly back on the Thursday, but due to Airport strikes we decided to fly home on the Tuesday and they were very happy for me to do that. They say that some ladies even fly back the same day x
Unfortunately we got a BFN but.........................I feel our trip over there wasn't wasted as we got 4 embies but it obviously wasn't meant to be.
Also over there the donors are annonomous.

The advantages of Athens was that it can all happen really quickly. The donors are annonomous and it wan't overly expensive....just over Â£6,000 which included flights and hotel.

The clinics themselves pay the co ordination company and it wouldn't be cheaper for you if you went straight to the clinics.

The co ordination nurse was always on the other end of the phone and I was able to keep in contact with here via email on a daily basis.

Well I think that's about it!

I am due to DR soon...my donor is alutristic x x x What would we do without these lovely ladies x x x

mouse123 · 31 Mar 2010

Hi Alice

Well done for starting this thread. I'm sorry to hear about your husband - it sounds a nightmare. After everything you've been through already, you would think life would give you and your husband a break. I hope he gets well soon.

Hello to all the other ladies on here who I've not "met" before as I normally bounce around the Lovely Ladies postings on the over 40s thread.

Rusty, its really interesting to hear about your experience at the Greek clinic. I've been in contact with them and the Director there does seem really supportive. I just had a miscarriage (from a natural surprise conception) recently and I got more support from her over email that I got from any of the clinics, doctors or medical profession over here. I would be interested to hear more about your experience at the Greek Clinic. Did you find out any more characteristics about your donor other than the normal hair, weight, eye colour, complexion before you had embryo transfer? For example, did you find out about their education, studies, interests before embryo transfer?

The reason I ask is that Care has told me they have found me a match, but to be honest, its not really a match when all I know is the height, eye colour, complexion and hair colour. I would really like to know a few other things just so I feel the donor would be at least have some things in common with me e.g. level of education etc. According to Care, I'm not allowed to know these things until I've had a live birth. Whereas as Greece, I was thinking that I might be able to know these things before embryo transfer. What was your experience?

Good luck to you all on this. How do you all feel about not knowing that much about the donors? I'm finding the fact that the match is very spurious - ie just on some vague hair/eye/skin colours quite difficult to deal with.

Mouse
X

nin100 · 06 Aug 2009

Hi Mouse, lovely to hear from you. I've been wondering how you are doing and feeling a bit guilty that I might have bombarded you with all my 'stuff' in the email I sent - I'm so sorry honey and I really really hope that you are ok.
I've been thinking about your question all day and this is what I've come up with...
In my experience, and having already had a genetic child I think that on the whole children have some traits from mum, some from dad and some that are just completely their own. And there is absolutely no way of predicting how these will manifest themselves or how many of each you will get. There are things about my son that I probably could attribute to either me or my husband (although this may be coincidence) but there are also things that are completely his own. A child is not just a combination of two sets of genes, they are also a whole new person. Its not as simple as putting together two sets of ingrediants and getting something predictable, you are creating somebody unique, somebody who is their own person.
I don't love my son because he is genetically linked to me, I love him because he is him.
I know people who have more than one child and they are completely different from each other, both physically and in terms of interests, what they are good at, personality etc. So even when two children have exactly the same genes going in, you don't know exactly what the result will be! My nephew has two parents who are completly un-sporty, no interest in football whatsoever and he is football mad. I have another friend who is very artistic and musical and her child shows no interest in these at all.
There is also the nature vs nurture aspect. I honestly believe that a child is affected by how they are brought up, the interactions and opportunities they have, the people around them.
Lastly, and this is extremely important to me, I know that this egg will come from someone incredibly kind, selfless, generous and compassionate. To me, that is more important than a university education, or someone who shares my interests or hobbies.
I really hope that helps, but do feel free to email me again or reply on here to see what others have to say about it. I am wondering where you are with it all. It sounds as if you are struggling a bit with the decision to use DE in this country. Maybe what Rusty has said about the clinic in Greece would appeal to you more. Anyway, you know where I am if you'd like to 'chat'.
My poor DH is still in hospital with the chest drain still there in case his lung collapses again. He has been waiting for a bed at a different hospital since Monday where they will operate to stop this from happening again (this is the second time it has happened)
Much love to you Mouse.

Welcome to Urchin too. How are things going for you (in a vague way obviously!)

Alice x

SAW · 30 Nov 2006

Hi ladies, sorry to interrupt your board, I just wanted to answer Mouse if that's ok?

Hi Mouse - I have altruistically donated & egg shared before & I had to go through a lot of tests, counselling & interviews to deem me 'fit' enough to donate, I honestly believe if I was some window licker with only 2 decent brain cells I wouldn't have been deemed 'fit' to donate by the donation team/counsellors. I don't have a university degree, but I do have a high paid job that I have worked very hard, through git & determination, to progress in. I had a pretty tough childhood, with a mum who worked hard to give us everything with the very little she had, unfortunately university was never really an option for me but I truly believe that how my mum brought us up ensured that we worked hard to get what we wanted, while not standing on other people to get there.

I chose to donate as I had gone through IVF myself due to secondary infertility & I could not imagine how terrible it must be to not be able to get pregnant/keep a pregnancy & wanted to do all I could to help someone realise their dreams. I never regret donating (& I don't think the recipients do either) & I don't think as the children as mine in anyway, shape or form, I see it as that I have given another woman a tool & how the job ends up is down to her.

You have been lucky enough to be offered a tool from a woman who is willing to go though a long process to help you, it's up to you whether you accept the tool & finish the job to your standard. If you don't there are many many women out there who will.

I hope you make the right decision for you & good luck for the future.

SAW

curly_girl · 11 Oct 2010

Hello girls,
Hi and welcome to anyone who's just joined and a big thank you to Saw, both for your honesty and for your amazing gift to your recipients, whatever the outcome.

With regards Mouse and your concern over the level of info in the match, I'd have to agree with the ladies' advice and add a little of my own if I may? I've also been matched and am starting DEIVF later in Spring. Should imagine that I've been given same details about my donor as you have and for me that was more than enough. Anymore and I think I would've been looking for her on every street and in every shop, comparing myself.
In addition, I feel very strongly that it's nurture that wins out. I had a father and to be honest, he was crap! I then met my dad when I was 11, he met and married my mum, took on her 5 children and changed all our lives for the better. I'm really close to my dad and he often still gets me out of trouble!! We have no genetic link but I know we share a lot of characteristics, and that's because I love and respect him and aspire to be like him.

I was the first person in my family to attend university, so naturally I wasn't genetically predisposed to reach a certain level of education, I just did.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is, that whilst few of us would choose to have children in this sometimes painful, always long-winded and definitely awkward manner, for those of that need this, it's a way to have a family of our own; give birth to a child of our own regardless of genetics. And all thanks to an amazing gift from a stranger.
Perhaps I'm lucky, the lack of shared genetics with any child I'm lucky enough to have has always bothered me less than what I feel is a bit of a raw deal in terms of my internal biology being rubbish.

Sorry, I'm waffling now, but I hope you get my gist.

AFM, ir's been a very busy week, with the restarting of netball and hockey seasons, more pregnancy announcements (yawn!) and a badly injured middle finger- very sweary!
We've got an appointment next week to get forms signed and more tests done and our start dates have been out back slightly, which means I'll be missing my team's hockey tour regardless of whether or not we're successful because it's likely to clash with the 2WW. Whilst I'm sure if we get a BFP it'll be worth it, there's part of me that's a bit miffed; I've tried hard to keep a semblance of normalcy and having to cancel that when the odds are against us is counter to that. Especially because we've come up with very rude and silly names for the back of our shirts!

I hope that you are all having a nice weekend, big love to you all, Curly Xxx

curly_girl · 11 Oct 2010

Ps Alice, how's DH? Home and on the mend yet? Xx

curly_girl · 11 Oct 2010

Pps just read my long message back and realised I sound very ungrateful!! Not intended and am not miffed with either Care or wonderful donor, just chuntering!

urchin · 08 Jan 2012

Thanks for the welcome Rusty an nin.
All is going ahead for us - the drugs are knocking me about a bit; the progynova were increased to 6 tablets a day recently... they make my head swim if i turn it too quickly and give me horrid headaches - but it's all in a good cause
We're rapidly approaching egg collection day so are keeping all crossables well and truly crossed.

I guess my thoughts on the egg donors details are these: if I had the option, I'm sure I'd want to know as many details as possible; the donor sites where you get to choose from a menu of women, each with a photo and profile statement, are very attractive. It would be nice to sit and match as far as possible (or maybe even select for traits that I don't have, but would have liked)
But the truth is, I don't NEED all that info. What I am most interested in is that my child is a nice human being and learns how to find their own path in life - and for those things, no smiling photo or nicely worded biog will help

nin100 · 06 Aug 2009

Oh Urchin, I love what you said. And wow, you are really on the final stage of this cycle! I know you can't be precise about dates but I want to wish you all the luck in the world. And please let us support you through the 2ww as well. I'm still on stage one and luckily the Buserelin doesn't seem to affect me. Apart from the physical side of things, how have you felt during this second stage, knowing that your donors eggs are growing for you?! Have they given any information about predicted numbers or how she is doing? My goodness, how exciting!
Curly, so sorry you're having to miss your hockey tour, but you're doing the right thing to play it safe during the 2ww because this way you will have no regrets or wonder 'what if...' Finger sounds painful too, hope that gets better soon.
SAW, thank you for your lovely post too and for the wonderful generous thing you are doing/have done.
It is so great to hear from someone who has donated and how they feel about the whole thing. I had wondered what kind of counselling the donor got so it is really good to have a bit more info on that.
Fidyro and Farm girl, how are you doing?
AFM, well its been another crappy weekend. Poor DH is still in hospital waiting for the op. He is feeling really low now, having been in hospital for over a week with a chest drain in. The visiting hours are a bit crap too, which makes it extra stressful trying to juggle things with our little boy, keeping it normal for him or making arrangements for picking up from school, or bedtime etc. Luckily my mum lives close by and I have certainly been shown how lucky I am to have some wonderful supportive helpful friends. Anyway, hopefully the op will be tomorrow then he'll be home Wed or Thurs. Thank goodness this didn't happen close to egg collection, that would've been a disaster!!
Right I'm off for some sofa and telly. And maybe I'll treat myself to a hot chocolate....
lots of love and luck to you all,
Alice xxx

Rusty · 16 Mar 2011

Morning Ladies.Well my meds have arrived this morning. Just waiting for my fliping period to arrive!! It's typical isn't it......I'm about a week overdue and usually I'd be jumping for joy! Obviously that thought has crossed my mind and a few pregnancy tests later it's obvious that Im just a bit "all over the place" Could be anticipation of what's about to happen of the fact that it's only my 2nd peroid since my last treatment. So I've got to book a scan to see what's happening!
Anyway hope everybody is doing ok.
There have been a few questions about Athens so here goes.....
Description wise all we got was......Height, eye color, hair colour, age and blood group. This time with Manchester all I got was hair colour, eye colour, height and blood group. They aren't supposed to give build but I did pressure them a bit and I got a little idea. I have to say that this time at manchester our donor hasn't got the same eye colour, hair colour or build as me!!!! I know it's crazy when you put it in writing....but....what's important????? Hair colour or eye colour that match or a baby that loves you and belongs to you? BUT I have to say that everybody is entitled to their own oppinion x
When I looked at my own family this is what I saw........
Mum, medium build, brown hair, brown eyes.
Older sister, Med build, brown, brown eyes.
Me, small build, blond hair, green eyes.
Younger sister, big build, blonde hair, blue eyes.
I can honestly say that we are ALL like our mum in so many ways and we are ALL like each other x x

Hope this helps x x x